Justice!

ha. ha!

so as you know i live in the ghetto. the neighbors on the left are the gangsters. the neighbors on my right are a dysfunctional clan of females who have been irritating me since i was a kid. and they multiply and take up almost as many parking spaces as the other neighbors. we've had a bit of a feud with them of late as a few years ago they kept complaining about the pine tree in front of our house until my parents cut it down. did i cry? yes. actually. really. i was really upset. needless to say the alpha beeatch even tells our gardeners what to do sometimes and then we noticed the green swamp developing behind the house aka their pool and decided to call the authorities on them (west nile people! it's serious)- who showed up that day! and made them drain the breeding ground. it was a small victory.

never ending in their desire to piss us off they took to tieing up their dog in the front yard, without a fence, on a long leash(hello Ghetto! yes, heLLO!)- a spastic boxer who leaps and barks at anyone- now occassionally or as often as my dog could-- who could say no to this face!!! my dog bodo would escape and go play with his macho friend, duke. it was completely harmless play but the females of the house would freak out and start hosing bodo down as if he was viciously attacking their dog. needless to say it didn't work- did i mention he's a golden retriever and LOVES water?! idiots. anyway they refused to listen to me and one day the youngest of the witches said she'd try to have my dog killed and it was one of those moments where God had to have interceded and taken away my urge to stab her bcs i just stared at her and shook my head- pa-thetic i thought. and then i thought why didn't i viciously attack her? oh, god maybe. okay...

so then months pass and dad leaves the gate open and out bolts bodo. he returns happily, soaking wet, and the neighbor then informs my dad that she will be calling the authorities. so animal control- scarily- responds. but of course the dogs are on their best most loveable behavior- even my neurotic dog zep just barks then looks sheepishly at the officer and says- i'm sorry, i just- well i'm nervous and don't you love me? you must? look how good and well behaved i can be and bodo rolls over and says, i was wondering if you could scratch my belly- i'm most loveable when i do this and of course this......

the animal control officer was completely satisfied and made sure my dad took better care to confine the dog- so then the officer goes to the next door neighbors and notes the vacant leash on the lawn- mutters well that's illegal! and promptly tacks a citation onto their door. i mean literally tacks a citation onto their door. hee. i look forward to being the enforcer with my time stamped digital camera function.

mom calls it karma but i call it divine.