Hospitality

I'm sitting at work right now contented. All because of Free-Food Fridays. It's the raddest thing ever. I fucking love it. There was entire buffet of food... and some is sitting in my drawer for "later"... mmm. delicious, delicious fajitas.

This naturally segways me to the camping weekend of yore. It was Saturday afternoon and mom and I had just returned from bike riding along the coast when my dad looked up from his computerized game of solitare to tell us that "a guy" wanted to know if we would share our campsite. I shrugged blankly. Mom looked confused. Damn that's ballsy. And we wondered what circumstances had led him to such a desperate position- Apparently dad, who usually has no concept of family felt bad for the guy bcs he had 3 kids and a wife and no where to lay his head- and as a fellow "guy" dad empathized with trying to please the family. Are you f-ing kidding me?! But anyway high on endorphins or whatever exercise causes besides well-being I didn't care. Mom didn't either. The guy came around again and we gave him the thumbs up bcs of course dad was going to have to "check with the wife" to see if it was okay... and when he again reiterated that he had 3 kids- it didn't seem to phase us. For some reason we were completely and utterly compliant.

So mom and I settled in and began to watch the Asian family as our own personal reality show: (We noted the recent purchase of a tent) and i had to, on several occassions stop mom from interceding on "their" experience. As we couldn't quite figure out what the boundaries were for sharing a campsite. They were on oneside of the 2 car barrior, we were on the other. We did learn that they were from diamond bar- and that's about 4 hours south and we also learned that they'd been to several campsites to no avail- now that's what i call determined. So we had to respect their moxy. We also noted the wife was quiet and didn't know too much English. The dad was an investment banker and had companies in a few parts of the world and knew about 4 languages. And that they were further set on camping as it was a surprise to the dad when he got home from his trip and that a hotel wouldn't do, despite the fact they could afford it (as their shiny white SUV lexus attested, yum- with leather interior). The kids were absolutely quiet- the 13 yr old typically mortified at having been pushed to this experience in the first place and was trying as hard as he could to quietly rebel. The 9 yr old was awesome and curious and the 3yr old was typically 3.

So night fell and we were happily watching Shanghai Nights, (as unbenownst to us our car battery was dying), and mom and i mused when their dinner would begin. As at this point it was at least 9 and on cue the dad appeared and explained haltingly that they had no fire pit on their side of the campsite and had inquired elsewhere but there was no means of getting one and would we be so kind as to let them use ours. Being still amiable we said yes and went also to fetch them our propane lantern as the night was now as dark as pitch. And we lent them a cooking table. And then slowly the invasion began. The 13 yr old sat beyond the pale, mortified or invisible. And the 2 other kids began to play around the fire. The camp chairs also delicately appeared as well as the cooler. And then the dad broke out his bad ass butane burner- shunning our humble coleman we'd offered them as well. At this point he offered us beer. Mom naturally said yes and dad and i both looked up and smiled but said nothing, which in most US places it means, hi- thanks. We acknowledge your fine offer but the one saying yes, she's the one who wants one. However before we could stop him, pop went each of the tops of 3 coronas. Not one.

I sipped at mine and actually resorted to pouring portions of it out when no one was looking- and then appeared the plate of complimentary beer nuts. We were completely mystified, but we ate the nuts- and mom drank her beer. And the production began as the dad began to satay the most wonderful smelling korean beef, with rice and sesame leaves?... We watched them intently eat their food, without complaint or comment- and then btw cooking and eating a few pieces the dad came back over to us and said, a shot? and he held a bottle of 12yrs aged whiskey-scotch and began to pour one for each of us. We tried to refuse but as happens in these situations there's only so much saying NO that you can do before you give in or do some irreprable damage to foreign relations. We toasted to him and i decided to get this one over quickly and did a shot- but then he came over again and demanded we take a 2nd shot- my dad, had already given my mom his shot and escaped to bed without so much as a word- so that when "the dad" came back to offer us our 2nd shot he inquried after the wayward father-- and we mumbled excuses and i shook my head at so much a slight of leaving us alone in the company of strangers and no man for the dad to talk to- nevertheless- we'll do. He began to become more talkative and explained that his father had given him the whiskey tradition- and as we realized that we were in for the long haul as the cooking had not stopped that we would round the otherside of the table and be social. plus the kids had begun to ask us questions about the best times for fishing and why fire is fire... and mom became completely enthralled at needing her bill-nye-thescience guy expertise.

Then came the plate of Korean beef which we initally refused and of course politely accepted and ate- then 2nds, a different flavor, along with the sesame leaves... and yet another shot of whiskey 2 which i showed him my fuller cup and mom remarked that the whiskey had begun to eat away at the bottom of her cup and switched to her thermos. i traded glasses with her and he poured me another shot- we continued to watch this interactive television show as they threw corn in foil into the fire pit and roasted them up- we honorably got the first one, politely refused, then ate it- then they each got one and the dad went to give us a 2nd one. Mom by this time had had quite enough at being polite and waited upon and decided to try refusal as her only option- of course this korean investment banker was having-NONE OF IT- and the interchange went something like this: "No, you and your wife must eat this corn." IB: "No, you must eat this corn." M: "But the corn is so delicious, you must eat and enjoy your corn." IB: "That is why you must eat this corn, bcs it is so delicious.".... at this point i was laughing but if you knew me it was one of those, take the fucking corn before you insult the koreans, sort of laugh. She eventually took the corn and we ate it and it was delicious.

Afterawhile we muttered that the night of freefood and booze might never end as were both fading fast- and we both realized that to go bed as dad had would effectively be turning the lights out on your guests. Completely unacceptable. So we continued to rally our forces- well past 11, we're sure. The kids came and went, watching a movie with their mom in the Lexus. And the Dad after a time of small talk about what he did and who knows what, excused himself to put the youngest to bed and never came back... apparently having something in common with my father- then the 9 and 13 yr old piped up with even more questions- for instance: Why did Hitler rise to power? How did communism rise and fall? What is Human Relations (HR) and why do you work at it? (to my mother)... there were a couple more in there but that's the crux. Mom and i put on our teacher hats and told them about the peasant and working classes, marxist idealism, mob mentality and who knows what else. Eventually the 9 yr old excused himself to bed and then th 13 yr old politely did the same- explaining that they would rise early to catch fish in the morning... which they did, 2 small perch- but it was something. And we said they should definitely cook it-

Meanwhile mom had bought coffee from a girl for $3 next door- and both she and my dad launched into explanations about net profit and overhead... and said that perhaps she should lower her prices. She did. And her dad had no problem lending us his generator to jump our car, and refused my mothers employ to pay him. As we broke camp early for yet another long adventure which included 3 hats, 3 kites, a cracked but functional digital camera, fried seafood, a fruit-farm stand... and of course the mighty excursion into Carmel land, the Korean family moved in, inch by inch onto the picnic table to cook their breakfast... we said our goodbyes and shook hands- with smiles and waves out the window- i found myself feeling a guest to their courtesy, and said thank you, thank you, to having had such a lovely time.