Wednesday, October 31, 2012


Got a solid 11ish hours of sleep. And could've probably rolled back to sleep. Apparently exhausted from the 5 hour performance yesterday (and possible reaction to j.e shot (vaguely dizzy and nauseous) of games and halloween activities.  It was nice to see them be kids and i apparently ran them too efficiently as i should've had more games lined up though everyone assured me what i was suggesting was enough. Luckily a couple times the kids were just enthralled with limbo so....

i want to say more but seriously i'm so tired. we're just going to have to count this. zzzzzzzzzzzzz.


Tuesday, October 30, 2012

yes -

- the candy corn is like wrought iron gate of sugary cemeteries. Also, you've made me hungry (thirsty?) for hot chocolate.

I like the CS Lewis book, although this particular copy smells, but not necessarily in a delightful old-book-smelling way? It's not that old, first of all. It's more like it once lived in an unfortunate-scented house and can't shake off that part of its past. It rambliness reminds me of the philosophy books I read in college, except a little more casual, for as non-casual as CS Lewis is - even though I swear he insists he isn't. Okay, CS Lewis. We all know you had elbow patches on your suit jackets. And I know this book was given originally as a talk, and then he futzed with the manuscript before publishing to make it sound a certain way - either more like a person talking, or not, but anyway - if I imagine it as spoken, it's a lot easier to get through. Otherwise you're trying to wrap your mind around his ideas like he is Descartes arguing about his existence, or something.

That being said, I haven't even gotten to his thoughts on Christianity. We're still laboring over society. I mean discussing. Casually. With our elbow patches on.

There was this car accident in town last week that I heard about through my neighbor - not necessarily noteworthy, except that it was in an odd stretch of road and especially, um, gruesome? Like the nurse that works with my neighbor's husband couldn't shake it off that day, even though she sees death all the time. Something about a sliced-off skull. So I was trying to figure out where exactly it happened and it turned out to be right where I turn every single preschool day when dropping off N.Lo. And, I still don't really get it, except that the driver had to have been positively racing, and/or completely distracted for her car to have ended up like it did (obliterated). It's just one of those things. I pass by the cemetery across the street every day and think how peaceful that place seems, but this one particular corner now seems a little haunted.

Frankenstorm blew through, or is still blowing through, effectively killing off fall before its time. Bye, pretty leaves. I'll miss you. But nothing else major happened outside an inexplicable 2-hour delay for K.Lo, which mixed in with figuring when she's going to the doctor (we're on like, day 10 of this cold and it's not getting better), dropping off N.Lo, creeping out about the haunted car-crash corner, etc., threw me for a loop. Oh and also not sleeping well at all last night. Probably that's throwing me more than anything. It was a bizarre, twitchy, caffeinated-type sleep, although I'm not typically affected at this juncture in my coffee-drinking career.

There is an epic chili slow-cooking in the kitchen, which will be rad this evening after hurrying-up-and-waiting to pick up K.Lo, taking her to the doctor, waiting some more, procuring meds, etc.

Also, you don't by chance have DoW as a shareable audio file? Because I could see maybe not loathing it if I listened to it. That worked for another book I wanted to love, once.

May your weeks fill up with more Things to Look Forward To, because those are the good things, the golden things. xxoo

Monday, October 29, 2012


Hey you,

Hovering here. But it's tuesday so that's something. Tomorrow is game day as it's halloween. And it's only because every other hagwon does it. So far the only breath of air i've seen my school take outside of the harrowingly rigidity of books, pace and performance (and once or twice a typhoon). And apparently we're not allowed to go outside. That subject sort of exhausts me. Obviously we're talking some serious repression happening. I think one side of me has lots of expletives stored up and the other side is like there there M it's not so bad. But when i think about it i just get that really loud emergency drone sound. And i'm like someone shut that off!

So biblestudy well, it was our listening group and then you know the nutmeg forest happened and karma (the girl not the force) was like in/out/in/mostly out, so sjt and myself find time to pray and listen for each other- which explained how the no plan- just show up in vietnam thing- got picked, and there's a guy here- craig but said with a south african accent so it's like kregg. and he's very into theology and teaching and wants to get a masters in it and he's the one starting the biblestudies- it's pretty funny in that it's all girls. sjt and i sit there mainly knowing and agreeing or disagreeing with what he says (aka part of the choir) but i can't say we're challenged which i guess we dont have to be. there more like sermons. and we sit at a place called choco art and have hot chocolate or coffee drinks and listen and chat and who comes fluxs from week to week- and sjt and i are like- really there should be more prayer in this and he is always like yes, but mostly NO. and we sit there and are just well hummm about it. but whatever. i'm ambivilant even in my explanation of it really. I know God is doing something in it. And I like having something in the week to look forward to- a meet up so to speak. And i think a lot of girls are provoked by what he says... and it's funny to see the problems we have at our church in LA being played out at a microcosmic level here on jeju- lack of men, lack of prayer, lots of women seeking and needing grounding... etc. If i go tonight i promise to actually set the scene instead of blather on about it.

Ps. that candy corn looks totally menacing.


Sunday, October 28, 2012


Well, see, in your future blogging, you asked too soon about the handbells. But now that you're sleeping, it's happened by now. It was all right - not my best performance, but certainly not terrible either. I skipped a few measures on the last page, and overall I felt like our pace was a little off or slow, which threw me. But I don't feel like I played any wrong notes, and I didn't hyperventilate or anything - bonus! I kept the old man alive today, is what I'm saying. Wherever he is, I play for him.

Your slump could very well be due to an acute lack of volleyball. But tell me more about Bible study. Like who is in it and group dynamic and whatnot.

And I'm definitely choosy with books and unforgiving of certain elements, which may or may not include bad writing. I've rejected both the Stephanie Plum books and the Sookie Stackhouse books because of bad writing, yet I've embraced Twilight. Also I still can't get into Peter and the Starcatchers, knowing full well that it's awesome. And totally, I never made it into the boat with Pi. That is a true story. I recently rejected a short story collection not at all because the writing sucked, because it so didn't, but because the stories were excruciating. And yet The Hunger Games (which I'm about to reread for book club), I'm enthralled with. And recall that while forgiving in nature, I have no reservations about saying - not my cup of tea - and ceasing book consumption IMMEDIATELY. Essentially we're dealing with a complex algorithm of acceptance, rejection, embracing, resistance, adoration and vitriol that factors in writing quality, reader mood, expectation, heroism, hype (I held out on Harry Potter for more than a year because of those damn holiday display windows at Marshall Fields!), authorial love of its characters, humor, darkness, and the list goes on. And did I mention mood.

I'm still reading DoW, not necessarily seeing the writing as bad, but the pace or I guess as you say it's the monotony? as nearly unforgivable. Teetering by the hour. And honestly if the cover wasn't so delicious...That font! But I feel like I'm slogging through swamp mud, truly, and it's trying to steal my shoes, and I sense intrigue up ahead, just beyond the shadows of the cypress trees, but. I don't know. Will it be worth the journey.

In other news, I made a graveyard cake for K.Lo's school cakewalk and also won a cake on the first try. So that was awesome. And I channeled my Grandmother, the former Butcher of Penny Lane, by hacking at several lavender plants and other shrubs in the front yard. Strangely satisfying, the crunch of those giant blades.

Andbutso. I hope your cold goes away soon.


Hello, its your turn right? I mean i'm just saying. No pressure. I was technically late blogging from the future that last time. So you know, we can play fast and loose with time. It's not like anyone else is out there- i just had this apocalyptic feeling when I wrote that. Like we're lone survivors on isolated outposts in the middle of nowhere and for some reason or because of fate... you know, we can still communicate with one another across the barren wastelands.

I have a cold by the way. It's seriously annoying. Oh hells bells. How'd it go by the way?

What if you were the lone survivor in wherever your town somewhere USA, and your last happiest moment before whatever it was happened was playing bells in a church and everyday you went to sound out bells, the same song, sometimes a different one, over the airwaves (because hello, before whatever killed whoever off they had a transister radio) hoping someone was out there and there was this one old man who everyday thought about killing himself, but if he tuned in and you were playing he would change his mind, but there was no way for him to tell you this... what would happen...

Today i've been walking around in a haze- and I really dont have high hopes for the week. I dont know why a month can go by and it's all woohoo positive mental space and then suddenly 2 wks running and forwhatever reason GRIND. So uncool. I have biblestudy to look fwd to i guess? And wednesday is nothing but halloween games? Which sounds exhausting. And i have to finish reportcards tomorrow. Frickin.

Are we there yet?


Friday, October 26, 2012


re: the voting thing- i know. I totally blame my parents. I think they sent me some materials and then i was staring at it and finally went oh whatever lets see, and then it became this to do list- and then it showed up in my mailbox and fb posts started about it and general conversations around the VB watering hole and there it was in my brain as something inevitable. I don't know. I acknowledge it's a bit crazy and frankly i'd like to actually be excited for who i'm voting for. I don't have that latent veneration you have held over. I must have it for some things like that or the anthem wouldn't make me cry. hard to say. but i'm all you must earn my respect and why can't we ... blah something cynicism...

And discovery of witches hmm- I mean it was an easy listen, so reading it- i can't say. It might strike one as generally monotonous but I didn't mind it except the infuriating dun dun it's a sequal BS. So take it as you will. Also Life of Pi- how far did you get? because I recall that the first 60-100 pages was an absolute dreary slog but then woh! wow! captivating. All the blathering about the zoo and whatever dry toast but once he gets on the boat... so good. DW is in nowhere near the same league, and not worth the championing- though generally i feel you are much more forgiving of badly written things then i am... or wait is that the reverse? Hmm. I just avoid, where as you are choosy and specific? We should break this down more but I have a head cold that my chiro visit came a day too late to help deflect. I also got my first of 3!? shots for jap.encephalitis. Which by the way i spelled correctly the first time.

I will say my experience is so typical sometimes of how they treat foreigners, but not typical of the times i've gone- where it's been a lot better so maybe not typical then but a certain kind of well that happened. It's one of those- go in forearmed kind of things. The nurse avoids me for a minute. A patient notices her actually avoiding me and i notice him noticing it and I don't remember who actually spoke first but she clarified that i wanted a "shot", and another nurse made a jabbing motion later just to make sure, then they asked for my ID card, then i stood in line (for what? I don't know? paperwork? oh ok), then they had another handler nurse come get me and escort me (because I couldn't find it myself?! super nice though) down to the basement where she sort of not very thoroughly looked up what i needed and luckily i knew and she did ask if i had any other questions and then said- oh you have to go the airport if you want the yellow fever vaccination. I dont have it here at the (um hello, actual) hospital. Funny. Then another handler came and escorted me back up to the 3rd floor where I got the first of the three shots. And i guess later maybe the typhoid pills. Shenanigans. Anyway all of that going here and there could've been avoided if they'd let me talk to the doctor who speaks good english. But i did have to visit 3 locations so they figured efficiency was better then a confused me wandering around going WTF! maybe it's a trust issue.

Also the day just sort of deflated from there- fatigue right? Then i dragged a student out of the room because she wouldn't give me her cellphone. Which i shouldn't have done, as funny and ridiculous as it was because she thought she was stronger then me. She was strong though I will say that. And I can see how she bullies people because of her strength- i'm not sending her to the directors though because I like her but with that caveat you better not pull that again or else. And then sg was like oh two of your students complained that they were bored/didn't like the foreign teacher program and i'm just looking at her like AND?! And then some other student wrote all this profanity in korean on one of my desks. So we ended the night with icecream. Though the russian curmudgeon has lately been making this funny side commentary to me- like did you survive your talk?! and what's with physically restraining that kid in the hallway. It makes me laugh over him just observing the absurdity of my day to day. And me allowing myself to process that it's profoundlY ALL ridiculous.

And today i've dithered a good couple hours away - i did sweep, make a smoothie and do laundry- i'm very active in my convalescence. But really that's about it. I've got to recline now . I really do.

mmm bells. !.


Thursday, October 25, 2012



I do remember your advocating The Screwtape Letters, but if Mere Christianity was connected, it didn’t stand out? Hmm. Because it’s much different than TSL, correct? with TSL being more overtly provocative? Anyway, aa also mentioned Blue Like Jazz for cynical moods/parties. But I’m thinking I’ll look over both and see which one if any the cynical party in question would respond to. maybe.

Does Discovery of Witches get better? Because I’m up to maybe chapter 5 and bored. Please advise whether it’s one of those that gets better after the first x amount of pages if one only perseveres/slogs through. Or maybe it’s just not for me. Like Life of Pi, which I keep seeing the movie previews for and thinking – eh. One of those books I still feel pressure to LOVE THOROUGHLY, but I couldn’t get through the thing.

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU VOTED. Perhaps that didn’t deserve caps, but sort of? Mainly because I feel like you had mentioned it before leaving with a shrug and a –? I do get what you’re saying about patriotism, I feel that, too. Although for whatever reason, regardless of who they are or how good or bad they’re perceived to be doing, I do feel a basic sense of reverence. Maybe that’s a childhood thing carried over. But at it’s core, it’s like – our President! Wow! Like there’s just something about it, all the bullshit aside. And all the overblown expectations aside. Like yes, the President should ultimately help make the world a better place, but so shouldn’t we all? I’m just saying.

Also, I considered early voting, and griped very briefly and passionately about the fact that the children BOTH HAVE ELECTION DAY OFF – wtf – okay I’m clearly not over it. But I’m trying to channel that disgruntled-ness into – we’ll all go together and I’ll teach them about exercising their civic duty! and probably they’ll get stickers, which is always exciting. But seriously, one of the bonuses of SCHOOL is going to vote without having to juggle your children, for pete’s sake. I was looking forward to that for years! Years, I tell you.

And now here I am, mucking up my blog post with the very thing that wears me out about FB and Tw for that matter. I still haven’t spent a lot of time recently on either.

Anyway, the first of four Halloween events was yesterday at church – some old school, but endearing, party games? I’m always torn about bobbing for apples, and about scavenging for Hershey’s kisses in powdered sugar for that matter. Particularly when a certain child refuses to bob for apples, but after all the apples are gone, let’s dunk our face into the water! and essentially make a glue out of the powdered sugar remnant. Gag. Not to mention we’re at a peak in Germ Season. Just saying. At any rate, my council is supposed to take over the event next year, and I’m pondering changes, but then do I mess with what is clearly a popular event?

Sunday I play bells! I don’t think I’m nervous, but maybe I am.

It’s 80 here (but only during the day; nights are still reasonably cool) for one more day and then it’s back to fall. I can live with that. Although yesterday’s photo-of-the-day prompt was #weather, and that was fairly uninspiring timing. Just like today’s is #people, on the one day all week I plan to stay home and avoid errands at all cost.

love to you! hilars totes adorbs!


from the pen-archives

(Outtakes, because some are just sad, rather than funny-sad.)

“100 Ways to Get Through Work from Now Until January [Hey, maybe should do the same kind of list, m!]

100. Make paper chain w/ alternating colors in the manner of counting down for Christmas.

99. Use ALL of your vacation and personal time. That’s four personal days + six vacation = a whopping ten (underlined three times) days off. TAKE THEM.


95. Remember that

a) people are stupid

b) it’s just cell phones.


93. Who cares.

92. With money from said wretched job, buy once a month:

a) something cute to wear

b) something cute for the baby.

91. Think that if you can get through this, labor might be plausible.

90. And when you make it to labor, remember that at least you won’t be at work, talking to asshole New York Metro customers.

89. Think about what you want to rent next from Netflix.

88. Try to remember worse days and worse situations, i.e. working at the spa, or working at McD’s (think salt, heat and grease).

87. Imagine eating french fries at McD’s.


85. Break down time in Seinfeld-like increments: minus bathroom breaks, real breaks, hold times, call work, etc. – it’s like five minutes until the end of the day, really.

84. It is literally 3 hours and 45 minutes x 2 = 7 1/2 total possible time on the phone, really.

83. It’s just phone calls.

82. They’re just people.

81. You’re just “the company” while you’re there.

80. Pay attention to the people around you, having just as great a time as you are.

79. Pretend you’re dumb, like the girl down the row, thus making you less sensitive to customer attitude and your own mistakes.

78. Think of other places – London, Chicago, Paris.

77. Plan what you’ll eat for lunch or dinner.

76. Become consumed, in the manner of an all-consuming but mild cold, by your latest symptoms/changes in pregnancy.

75. Perform puppet shows starring customers.

74. Motivate self ~ kid will be spazzy if you’re too spazzy during pregnancy. Or at least she’ll be a worrywart. [HOLY – !!!]


72. Invent alternative cocktails, other than The Warm Bath.

71. Pretend you just got lost on the way to the grocery store, and simply, temporarily, landed at this desk.

70. Pretend you’re on a show like “Candid Camera” (shouldn’t be too difficult).


68. Remember not to let anyone stress you out – who are they?

67. Cry sometimes, preferably not at work.




63. Shuffle paint colors for new house around in your mind.

62. Try to vent to those other than your husband [HAHAHAHA].

61. Go to doctor, pay nothing [really good insurance at that place].

60. Hang picture of the little guppy up on desk.”


And then it ended! Disappointingly. Tsk.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012


I woke up this morning and my lipcracked! I can't imagine what's going to happen when i go back to LA or am i like really dehydrated? I guess that's probably it. I know that's why cuticles split. I was going to stay in the apt and write this but no, i'm at yoger listening to kpop with an iced latte. It's a glorious fall day. Crisp, warm, non-melancholic which is nice. Which I need. Work- so tired at it the last two days. Haven't recovered from the non-stop volleyballing. Oh and K's last day is on 31, not friday. Which got me thinking about my contract. They were going to try and shrift me out of a day- which i get since it's technically vacation. But i was like hey wait a minute. Of course now it looks like K was trying to manipulate the situation to get me to demand my rights- but that's what conspiracy theorists think- whereas i was actually going wait a second? So if my out date is the 31st- count back 5 days then i leave the 24th? But whatever. And by luck i didn't answer/hear the phone when sg called so now i have her pondering the outdate in writing. Which is great. And neither of us actually have official copies of my contract. So there's that. Man this latte is beyond delicious today. (surpressing latent frustration, anger at sg and wanting her badly to be different. I don't pray for her enough [at all] and i should.). Anyway- latte. Grassy. Earth. Awesomeness. I still cant drink it without sugar but i'm finding the depth of taste people always said there was. I was hoping to break the habit a bit in vietnam- but hello good coffee! here i come. And pondering getting hand made clothes in hoi an, and wondering how seriously stranded/expensive/will i be/ for the tet festival. Goodbye dragon. Hello snake.

I went to the postoffice, speaking of- got your postcard. Hi-lars. As Megs was oft fond of saying. Along with adorbs. Both grating and yet, lyrical? So i find it slipping out of my mental bag not unlike totes. You know. Totes adorbs.  Cringe. Speaking of- I voted. Go me. Overseas. That's awfully proactive of me. I mean really- above and beyond. It has led to spiraling meditations about patriotism and how one gains or loses pride in ones country. I mean if i had seen the shuttle endeavor in person i might've cried. I might secretly yearn to have a president that makes me proud to be an american- not unlike that scene in drop dead gorgeous. There's something to it- that need- why shouldn't we be. And why does inging the national anthem make me teary eyed?

What else- oh yes, mere chrisitianity. Hello, yes and of COURSE. That was the book cath and i were going to read together before i left. I think? I'm pretty sure. Anyway. And i feel i'd recommended to you before. I really liked it. I found (though it's been a long while) his arguments really compelling.

Besides, that--- vietnam. Tick.Tick.Tick. In a brief chat with my father- he said, so when are you coming home. I said, March I think? Which prompted him to threaten to move all mystuff to the new house because of course by THEN the new house would be completely done and the old house would be in renovation and that room (with all my things I carefully moved into there) has become some sort of 'well if you don't love us enough to come home soon you must not care and therefore i will do X' implication. It's really annoying. With a dash of almost barely endearing. Also we never hug in person or touch at all really but in signing off he gave me the hug emoticon back so i was like sure, hug emoticon back to you padre. It was funny.

Also padres- which reminds me of spanish which reminds me mexico and day of the dead celebrations, which reminds me of trying to explain Lent, Easter and Christianity to my highest level class- which are just barely high level in their learning english- it was awesome. I had kris come in and translate - wait did i tell you this? It was pretty epic. She didn't understand why it was Good Friday either if Jesus dies that day and I said because we get to live Kris- the curse is broken, at which point she threw up her hands and left. Love. And at least one of my students drew the connection of how i was talking and went oh, are you a christian too like Kris? And i said, yes. What else. Ok. I go I go. (I also apologize for not conveying my broken english talking to you enough when talking to my students and how it really does help to get me through when their eyes light up when they see me.)

xo, M...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

so now

Drinking coffee, eating pumpkin seeds. I hope you do blog everyday! but not die everyday, that would be totally bad. Worse than Russia. The pumpkin seeds came out perfectly this time – must be the temperature? I haven’t made them in awhile, but I seem to remember them cooking faster. but then being not so crunchy. More chewy than crisp. So 250 degrees for an hour and 15 minutes yields excellence, write that down.
Yesterday I became mortal enemies with fusible interfacing. I’m sure the enemyship won’t last forever, but for now it can stay far away from me, as my attempt to make N.Lo his Shrek gloves and vest were entirely thwarted. I’m working on an alternative solution and it will be fine, but anyway. Annoying. And just in case you were wondering, Shrek is not “in” as a costume this year – try the Avengers or Angry Birds. Also not in? Halloween costumes. Because it’s 8 days before Halloween and Target is clearing the shelves of them to make way for Christmas.
I feel like I’m mostly over my cold? Except now K.Lo has it, although it’s progressing at a much faster rate. Every morning she wakes surrounded by a pile of crumpled tissues, the poor Bug.
And what else… oh! ProRun! Let me know when it’s okay to talk about that. Will you be watching All-Stars? I cringe at seeing Wendy Pepper somehow, like I can’t stand seeing her raked over the coals of cattiness again. And also, why can’t I stop watching ANTM? It’s truly horrible, a shadow of its former awesomeness. If it ever was awesome. Wait it was – season 1. Then it went downhill from there, and then they fired Nigel and the Jays. The end.
And what will I do now that Switched at Birth is hiatus-ing until January?
And have you ever read Mere Christianity, or?
Okay, I’m out of thoughts. and it’s totally your turn again! 

Monday, October 22, 2012

pen pics

Ladybugs are everywhere! Swarming the house, I tell you.
Which I don’t normally notice until after the season is over
and the carcasses litter the basement floor.
Oh fall. The foliage isn’t the most awesome ever,
but there are certain trees that look like fire.
Photo challenge – it was fruit that day.
#71 – from a coping list I wrote while working at Verizon wireless.
"Pretend you just got lost on the way to the grocery store, and simply, temporarily, landed at this desk."
Want to see more? They’re hilarious!
The Avengers cutouts from N.Lo’s cake.
Fiery sparks.
Maniacal pumpkin-carving J.Lo.
Snickerdoodle cake! Pretzel letters!

#2 of my must blog or die everyday

though i'm pretty sure it's your turn to blog. we didn't discuss it and i am impatient and in the future as i talk to death about- and i'm so in need of bed- total crankerson- i did have a coffeeshake, some ricenoodles, and tea- which obviously equals ready for bed. and the students just by their studentness were sucking the life out of me. and i have a super stiff neck from i'm pretty sure that brain thudding fall i took- sand's supposed?tobe?forgiving? and yet? and then i didn't even get the ball ?? just fell wrong. i do have a sad list of minor non threatening injuries. it's like tim didnt even care his elbow came down on my collar bone. there's a bruise i'll have you know (whine) and i can sort of bend my neck- sorry chiropractor i need to see wednesday maybe? and there was some fighting/bickering but love in the end really overall... and some teams- 1 in particular i actually started praying against- because our energy was being sucked out- we were were highly emotionally sensitive as a team- really weird- and by the way it worked- the dark energy coming from the other team just shut up and we kicked their asses. that felt good. thanks Jesus! what else- mosquitos still really!? jeju!? i mean come on. allright i'm just going to start complaining. i better go. so many nuances i can go on about also about my love for the tournament and the volleyballing but that might bore even me to relate-

love you. (i promise no no internet russia), but still the details about you know who and what are still MISSING!

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Friday, October 19, 2012

mermaid preview

so basically

The job is sucking you dry. I totally get that. But I feel we’ll persevere in our year-end blogging mandate. I do well with mandates, mostly. Less so when they’re self-imposed, but still. Hope – for us and our writing and a lack of fissures in the concrete – propel me forward.

Today my cold has progressed down into my lungs. The usual route of a cold: head, sinuses, nose, spirit, throat, lungs. Lots of hacking today. By my estimates it will reach my toes next Thursday. And then we’ll be done, right? I don’t feel bad enough to go to a doctor and yet. It’s a nagging thing, shaping my day in an un-ideal fashion. Speaking of fashion, I must keep reminding myself to avoid social media today at all costs lest someone spoil the end of Project Runway for me. I have no idea who I’m rooting for, I like them all in a way really, but dammit if someone inadvertently robs me of the suspense.

I love that you’re making smoothies for your volleyball team. And you’re the manatees? I feel like our church team named themselves the mongeese or something equally random yet similar.

It’s foggy outside. And last night there was a crazy thunderstorm J.Lo drove through on his way home from football-watching. And I was fine comforting K.Lo on the living room couch, until such time that I felt her histrionics were put-upon, and then I threw my hands up exasperatedly. Which probably wasn’t nice of me, but clearly that’s a button-issue, when people pretend fear or pain or whatever for the sake of drama. And maybe she wasn’t fully pretending, but I have my suspicions. My capacity to soothe runs deep unless and until it detects an ounce of fakery.

But really I should be better than that, see past the fakery and recognize an equally deep need for soothing. Or whatever.

In the midst of my cold-suffering, I have been crafting a mermaid costume for K.Lo (tail picture to follow) and working with fusible interfacing, which may or may not in my first attempt gotten all over the ironing board. oops. But it’s a neat thing and with it I managed to affix a Toy Story image to a bathrobe I found for N.Lo (he’s always asked for one), for his b-day. To liven it up, since it was plain gray.

Upcoming, I need to create Shrek (the costume) for N.Lo. And cakes, lots of cakes, for Birthday Weekend (N and J.Lo) and then a cake walk at K.Lo’s school next Friday. good grief. Also, I’m reading a CS Lewis book (Mere Christianity) which I’d like J.Lo to also read, but I can sense the suspicion and reluctance from miles away. In an un-Penelope-like fashion, I’m reading more than one book – requisite YA fare, a short story book (wha?), possibly a political satire book (if only the author would refrain from so many exclamation points, but I do enjoy the inclusion of 3-D glasses), and then even a smut book. All these online political rantings have been so conducive to spending less time on FB and more with books. So thanks, political ranters! I am making great strides toward my lifelong goal of computing less, reading more.

Does Cath tend to drop details so explicitly? I didn’t know about the head over heels thing either, although I did infer the possibility from things like the camping recap and the baking of vegan pies. Because what self-respecting carnivore would engage in the latter if not motivated by love. Also, please don’t move to internet-less Russia. It would kill me.

That’s all for now, lest I exhaust all my blogging material in one go. Today is a day of random errands and projects and to-go or not-to-go to bookclub, for which I didn’t read the book, but the company might be nice. But hacking in the privacy of my own home and falling asleep on the couch at 9:30PM might be nicer. Ironically I suppose I wouldn’t have been up for the cancelled concert after all. But J still seems disappointed in me, or annoyed, or maybe she is just busy with moving. Combo? I try not to over-analyze that one, because silence for weeks at a time is standard. Although usually it’s a comfortable silence, and not a stony one. But maybe I’m imagining the stone. Likely. But not impossible.

Over-analytically yours,


Thursday, October 18, 2012

Wait, what?

We're suppose to bridging that gap right? Failing at it because we're too distracted with Fall tv probably? I don't know. It sucks. For instance Cath didn't even tell me until 3 weeks after that both she and her boy are decidely head over heels for one another. I was like it took you 3 wks to tell me that!? And she didn't even bring it up of her own volition. Like oh, when you say it that way M, i mean it does seem like a long time. I don't remember who i tell things too... UH. She totally blammed the distance too and having actual friends in her immediate vicinity. The cracks I tell you. They form in even the longest and most enduring friendships. She'll be all ps. did i tell you we're getting married and living happily ever after? And i'll be all WHAT!? And then just to get revenge I'll be all p.s. i'm moving to Russia, to live out my life in a shack on the edge of the world- ALONE without the internet. I dont really have an excuse for my bad writing, or lack of question asking, except my brain gets sucked out of my head in the morning and at night and those are the only times i have to write and then i have that pressure thing where the clock is ticking before work or the clock is ticking before bed. It's sort of ridiculous and relentless. But whatever. For instance i can't stare out into space because i have to go to work in like 20minutes.

This morning in hyper productivity despite sleeping in fairly late- i cooked dinner for myself, prepped a little for smoothies (for the volleyballers), swept, tidyed and swiffered the floor since Nella is staying over because of our ridiculous early departure in the a.m for said volleyballing (stupid tournament schedule), and then I walked out of the house without shoes and only my house flipflops. Whoops. I didn't discover it until i tripped over them while getting on the bus and went oh... sad. My feet will be cold. Also in a true reality of the weather and its horrid decline into cold the floor was too cold for my feet to walk on. I'm not ready to turn on the floor heaters yet however.  I mean it's either that or lattes right?

SJT asked me yesterday if she wanted me to ask God if i should give up coffee and i was all NO. Since I had her pray for me over some Vietnam related stuff and she just confirmed this crazy instinct I already had in an even more crazy way- we balled up the choices on paper, and she picked one, and the weirder thing was I knew which one she was going to pick- not the answer per se but which crumpled up piece of paper, then when I found out which one it was I was like- OF COURSE. I'm not being particularly coherent but as i said, i dont have much time. I'm tempted to reread this infact and edit myself, but no time.

Tonight I'm going to my former co-workers husbands new restaurant- a cheese and bread sort of place. Very cutting edge I feel for this island. But I like it. And then home to paint my nails with volleyballs and manatees on them. I feel the name of our team to be too apt a description of our personalities in general- which will explain, if we don't win, why- we are by far way too gentle, and though competitive over all lacking in bloodlust. Sigh.

What else?! I dont have time to tell you about the bath house- except i was walking around naked for a good couple of hours and going in and out of various pools and sauna rooms. It was exhausting. Sure i was all clean and sparkly and my skin was glowy but well. Hours. Sensory overload and it wasn't because of all the nakedness. Ok, remind me and i'll describe more in detail another day. It was funny when SJT actually led us up to the wrong room- the all men area... we were clothed, they weren't. There was some eye contact between her and a guy as she was like, guys , uh oh no. Wrong room. Go down, go down. Hurry. What else? Skipped out on the chiro today-

Ok i really have to go stare into space. 10more minutes until really i should be doing something about something and then ticking down the hours class by class. It'll go fast. Even though it's my long day. And by long we mean starting later and ending later as these things tend to go... since if i were going to start early none of this chattering wouldve been possible anyway? Questions. Follow ups...

xo, m.
(lest i forgot who we are) my dearest and ever fond of you, penelope.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


Friday, October 12, 2012

photo addendum

meds, glowing N.Lo, backscratcher, crop walk sticker, growing green onions, homemade slime, farm goats, K.Lo's awesome notebook art, SHUTTERS

wagons, on and off

We haven’t blogged in all too long (do we need to impose another mandate? because that was pretty fun. and productive.), but to be fair, technology often impedes. Blogger, and Posterous for that matter, ought to get their shiz together on their apps, because me and picture uploading are not going through the easiest time. K.Lo lost her first tooth a week ago, for heaven’s sake, and have I blogged about it yet? No, but I TRIED. Efforts were made. And I’ll do another photo addendum to this post, but I’m not particularly thrilled it has to be an addendum anyway. Just saying. Go ahead and heckle me Wonka, or maybe I’m baiting you.

So I finished painting the shutters. It only took me a year and a half to get around to that. But I was intimidated for at least a year, thinking I had to paint them on the house, thinking they were wood and not vinyl, thinking it would cost me more, etc. I realize most of my productivity is hampered by imagined hangups. But then also, it was hampered by wasps, and it was a good thing to wait until the week the weather turned cold. Because there was a gross mess of wasp nests behind those things. Only one set was live, and J.Lo did this spectacular Superman leap over the bush in order to flee, and hurt his back worse then a hypothetical sting and left his wife holding the ladder, but that’s the power of instincts? To run-for-our-own-lives when we see a squirrel leaping from the Christmas tree. I mean a wasp nest fall from behind the shutter.

In between painting, there was a good amount of scrubbing of said nests and the house in general, so the now the front is rather spiffy. It was a Rosie the Riveter moment for sure.

I feel like we’re completely missing the mark with the weedy flowerbeds, but one thing at a time? Or plant a bunch more flowers to conceal the weeds? Or?

I’m not overly concerned, clearly.

And handbells is going better than it was (I hope you get to see me play sometime!), and it goes best when I don’t think at all. Which applies to most of my life, probably.

Wednesday night was nice and terrifying, with N.Lo waking up with this barking cough my sleepy mind knew but couldn’t name. Croup. Plus a sinus infection, so Thursday morning was spent at the doctor and the pharmacy procuring an arsenal of meds. And also that dollar bin backscratcher for K.Lo. She’s been asking for one for like, two years, and suddenly there it was.

Oh, and did I mention my demolition derby moment from last week in the parking lot at church? I backed into a truck (no damage) and while I was in a panic inspecting it, another car backed into me (also no damage). It was all dark outside and probably a full moon, because how else to explain this utter ridiculousness. But also the luck or grace contained therein, because how there were no scratches and further pain and suffering with insurance matters, I have no idea. Not that I didn’t internally panic all night over my seeming a terrible-driving ditz to the older guys in the parking lot who witnessed or took part in the derby. But now one of them smiles at me more and asked me about my car this week, rather than silently judging me as I had imagined.

Today is Friday. Or your Saturday. It will feature a post office/library/grocery run, as well as the tedious and soul-numbing task of slogging through however-many-assignments I can get through while hanging out with an N.Lo. Who is feeling much better. But makes me feel guilty when he says, But why don’t you want to play with me right now? oh but I do.

Anyway. I need breakfast.


Friday, October 5, 2012