giblets and religion at Lowes Foods

First is to say that after praising the Bargain Meats section this weekend in random conversation, Lowes Foods did not appear to have any today. No $2 packs of chicken wings, no $5 choice cuts of Angus Beef (it's the best you can buy). I hope they haven't gotten rid of the section for good, that the gross overflow of giblets now living in its place is only a temporary insult.

Second, Kaleigh was "blessed" for the second time at the grocery store by Freaky Religious Guy. Last time, which was maybe a few months ago, he cornered us by (ironically) the Bargain Meats. This time it was in the soup aisle, where I was stocking up on 99-cent cans of store-brand "cream" soups. Cream of mushroom, cream of chicken. They're good for many dishes. I'm piling cans into the cart when I hear a vaguely familiar voice calling from halfway down the aisle. "How old is she?"

I look up and see Freaky Religious Guy, squinting as usual through his glasses. The thing with FRG is that you're never really sure who he's talking to, because he wears what I gather to be a Bluetooth earpiece always, and seems to talk all the time. To strangers, to the canned goods, to who and whatever. Also, protruding from the other ear is what looks to be a small microphone, as though he plans to launch into televangelist mode at any given moment. It's very weird.

There is no one else in the aisle, and unfortunately no other babies, so clearly he is talking to me. "She's 7 months," I say. Just like last time, he asks about my health (I say I'm fine, thanks), and then launches into an explanation of how with the, um, female hormones, it typically takes a year for moms to "get their bodies back on track." It is both inappropriate and bizarre. He's not unfriendly, however, nor (I'd like to think) am I. So I engage enough to be pleasant, but guarded. Then, just as last time, he asks K.Lo's name and says hi. K.Lo gives him her most winning "who the eff are you?" stare. And then FRG places his hand on her head and says, "Bless the little one." I smile and move us on to the Knorr section to ponder veggie dip vs. Spinach Finach. He continues to jabber on about God and babies and blah blah blah, and about how you should never shop on an empty stomach, and I say, "Yeah, it's the worst," and look Very Busy with my shopping list.

A few moments later, as he's leaving the aisle, he calls, "Have a beautiful day," and then says, "Oh, and bless you, too, 'mom.' I didn't mean to be rude."

Nope. Just super-presumptuous about me, what I do or don't believe, and what is appropriate grocery-store conversation between strangers. And I thought I left the Brickyard Preacher back at State... At least this one's friendly, I guess. Unlike (gulp) this guy:

Gary, whom I don't miss a bit