Monday, March 17, 2008
solitary
Hello, Here I am again, doing laps. It's an odd start so far. Sort of pushed me in and expected me to swim. Though my habit without guidance is more, swim a little, float, swim some more, wonder what I'm suppose to be swimming toward. Still not quite sure. Get out of the water often. Take my fully regimented breaks in the full sun of a beautiful wind-swept day, find rest and serenity in the bathroom- a quiet, dark and cool space where I can stretch and deep breathe. Watch a lot of people chatting and swimming further down the pool in the deep end, daring people to jump off the highdive. Look around in my section and the only other guy is getting instructions from the coach. Pushing him hard and telling him they like the way he looks. Coach isn't looking my way. Find it kind of uninspiring. Want to be independent and self guided only if I'm suppose to be. Sort of wonder if I'm being tested or set up to fail. Maybe forgotten about. Warily I do back-strokes to time and try to enjoy it. Make eye contact, smile in the appropriate spaces. Look up at the sky and try not to think about it.
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6 comments:
Lovely analogy.
They say you can write.
I'm sure glad one of us blogged today.
Why aren't they paying attention to mendacious?
P.S. Need after-shots of the painted room, please!
Yes, need pictures of your living room!
How'd the first pitch meeting (swim meet?...if we're using your fun analogy) go? Or did you not have to do it your first week on the job?
Oh, so this isn't about swimming? I wonder if you could do a post about how to get a job, seeing as you have found so many.
I think the backstroke is a hopeful way to swim...it's sort of trusting that you're going in the right direction, even though you can't see it. And while you're getting there, it's calming. And it's a lovely view turned toward the sky that maybe distracts you from the work of swimming?
dude just cannonball and then while everyone is dripping, say, "um, i would love a little more direction so i can really pitch in and win a few for the team. we can totally take county this year!"
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