1. Sometimes screaming out loud really does help. You would not know this though. You do not scream out loud.
2. Pen's birthday. Her 30th. I will maybe see her before she is 31. This gives me hope. I hope she tells me what she wants... i mean like besides my arrival. Which I haven't given up on. I'm still working on the shirts.
3. I made a new list: read Clarissa, Job 10:..., Search jobs, put bed coasters on, appt with trainer, yoga, sew: quilt, repair black pants, white top, black skirt, dress, necklaces, prochirs shirt... french. oh shit, and writing assignment, blogbook, but these go without saying... um, really.
4. There is a (now rawish) notch below my nose, right side that is having a persistent annoying itch, as does my right thumb.
5. Watching: The Decalogue I-III. but only after this season6 ep of MSW. I love netflix. And thank god the Office is coming back.
6. When you get the impression that you should just run out of church, before the 3rd song, and the lesson, do so. Because if not, it just ends up with you being cold, the sermon all jumbly, that all your friends won't go camping with you because they'll be at the stupid dumb ass retreat which is scheduled for the same weekend which reminds you- you need to visit more churches or just get different non-church friends who aren't caught up in the same community, the baby dedications that make you sad, that remind you of failed friendships, and your lack of lationship, that remind you of faded photographs from people who've died that are now in a huge box and on sale for .25cents. Which reminds you that you need to finish your own albums before they end up in a box and on sale for .25cents. Which reminds you that you're jobless and your to-do lists and your seeming paralyzed fearful existence that you will never grow up, take hold and get on with your life is coming truer and truer day by day. And yet, is it? Is it not?
6. Do workout even if your friend does not answer your calls because if you don't it just makes #5 worse. Even though she said 2:00. and I said 2:30, and we agreed and call after call and she said she'd been "sleeping", whatever.
7. Maybe go to sleep earlier because this time change thing is fucking you up worse than you thought. Go read Towers of Trebizond instead. Dream of fleeing country.
5 comments:
Ah, number 5. makes me sad too. about the photos, because clearly the first part not so much me.
8. Build a wooden tower tall enough that I make the local news. It can be flimsy and functionless, but I think you should do it.
The time change...I usually embrace it but this weekend, agh, it came too early. I wasn't ready for it. My arms were not open to embrace it. And I really need that hour of sleep back.
The Dekalog is great. I had the good fortune to see them all at the Castro Theater in San Francisco a few years ago.
This time change is KILLING ME. Thought I'd share.
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