feels so good.

I'm totally compelled to get the rest of these SF posts in because after turkeyday i'll be posting about my quasi-impromptu trip to the southernedge of the sequoias. more tree hugging. hurray! also i'm painting my nails and then i have to study for french. if i get out of work early for sure i'll be trying to get my car serviced too. bcs somehow as a new car owner i'm obsessed with the fact that i've now driven 5,400 miles and not gotten the car to its first service appointment. and how it must explain how little i love it and not busy working or being stuck in traffic. and how if i don't do it now it'll be up to 6000 in no time with no love.

2 other highlights of my trip were my massage and the free bourbon. though i suspect by now no one is listening or cares. but again, totally compelled to relate you the entirety of my experiences here on earth. i mean the minutiae i want to tell you about is like infinite. anyway, bourbon. okay i don't get it. never had it. i had a shot of Courvoisier (a cognac) once and i melted into the couch and never got back up so when i found myself at a quasi-speakeasy called Bourbon&Branch for which you need a password to get in I of course, wussed out and got a pomegranate and ginger martini. on my 2nd drink i was ready to at least consider the heavy tongue burning elixir. so I chatted up the bartender, bcs if you're going to be at a place that boasts a mile long list of bourbon and scotch they should know their stuff. and he did. he gave me 2 different samples of bourbon, told me how they're made, what is added to each, what influences the taste and how even a spoonful of water changes the make-up of the drink. i sampled both along with my friend isaacs 120proof stuff. and was able to describe the taste as: this one is like a small forest fire, this one is a blaze, nuclear explosion etc. why is my tongue numbing? okay well i guess i'll try this one here- and as i nursed each tiny sip i no longer felt anything along the lines of fire and it all tasted pretty good. and i'm telling you- i'm now a fan. enjoyable and the feeling is liquid. pure gold. it's the smoothest buzz you could ever have. and after i oozed out of the bar i slept the sleep of the dead in my hostel and woke up in the AM to meet my friend cathy for a massage.

this is the first full body massage i'd had in 7 years. the last one was in alaska and i felt horrible bcs at the time i had no idea about tipping and she did such a good job- after i literally fell into the grass and stared high up into the sky and the fish/chips were the best things i'd ever tasted- i walked droopy eyed and shuffle feeted for the whole rest of the day with a slushy grin, and a lot of mmm, hmms. yah. okaaayyy.

this time it was serene and a lot more expensive. gourmet sweet apples. loose leafed tea. steam room. candles. sage oil (which i think my nose is allergic too)... and i tipped high. it was a fluid relaxing massage. nothing abrupt or jarring and mostly not so pain inducing. the thing, the curious thing was this time there wasn't so much to release- some toxins in the upperback but otherwise just nice. loose. free. and i thought, ah see, this is where i went, that's where i was. and how little stress i'm clinging too in my life right now. my friend cathy got a stone massage next to me and i heard the clinking of stones, and while she dreamed she was a geisha, i imagined that i was by a creek, dappled light and in a light yellow grass field that stretched out to a mountain- i sat by a rock and looked out with squinty eyes. and i said, oh, so jesus, is this where we are now? he said, yes. we walked out into the field side by side and i thought- wow how grateful i am. and as i felt the masseuse run his hands over one arm, one leg, i thought, what a blessing. one that i can even have the luxury of a massage, two that it's no longer a necessity, third how free it is to feel so open and walk out into the day thinking sure, whatever, okay... is this where i'm going? no problem. is there something to worry about? no. check my clock. buy some keihl's. laugh. eat lunch and fly fly on home.