my brain just thinks in pieces

• Why do so many of the bills start with the letter "c?" Credit card, car insurance, cell phone, cable, chiropractor.
• I can't keep a bookmark. They fall out, they get stuck in the couch, I never see them again. This one's too heavy, this one (a receipt) is aesthetically displeasing. Or else I find one I like but am not in the mood at the moment to finish the book, and so it sits there, holding a place to which I will probably never return. My husband, on the other hand, has had his one bookmark (that I made him) for a few years now.
• The satanic chili turned out tasty, and not in fact evil.
• New candy on counter, what kind is it? It's the fucking delicious kind, that's what.
• James on Survivor, sadly, deserved his fate. Those two hidden Immunity Idols were a target on his back from the get-go and he should have known better. Why didn't he play them? Why did he have to get voted off? But at least he wasn't mad, I hate when they get mad, like it's all personal. Now, who to root for? Todd, and possibly Amanda, who is subversively crafty and becoming more interesting, even though it's annoying how the sensors always have to blur out her ass. What the hell is she wearing in the swamp, a thong?
• Today: finish tree? Start wrapping? What grand aspirations.
• Tomorrow: Movie!! With Ash!!
• Must remember to: put on socks. Feet are freezing.

items she's taken to bed with her

• dolls
• books
• shoes
• Cinderella legos
• bag of cookies (never again--the crumbs)
• doll stroller (J.Lo drew line at it actually being in the bed; fight ensued)

and today,

• the Yellow Pages (peeled off Christina Rivenbark magnet before falling to sleep)

the last of the last

my shoulder is still sore from throwing rocks into the water. my eyes quiet from all the bright blue. loving shadows. the yellow of falling leaves. shaking my head over lettie y pedro on the banks of the river. the gnarled roots disappearing deep. the fly fishers casting. all the millers about- the clams, the quartz, the one by one by one. the strange kerntown, alarms off at 5am, the winding roads up and in, the woosh of wind, the infinite trees, and all, all around.

incidents

• At Target today, my total was $6.66. Does this not bode well for the chili I plan to make with the ingredients purchased? Sheesh.
• On the way to the car, we passed by a shopping cart that was swarming with black birds. The woman whose cart it was just finished loading up her kid and peered warily from the other side of the car. "Looks like they're attacking your cart," I say. She comes around to the back and stops several feet short of her cart, looks at me. "What should I do?" she says. "I don't know, start screaming?" I say. And she does. It's awesome. She jumps at them a little and shouts, and they all scatter. She ducks for cover, all the while laughing hysterically. "They're probably after all the Cheerios dropped on the bottom of the cart." So fantastic.

parade highlights from the 30th annual lake isabella christmas parade

i suppose people have had enough of my random holiday pictures but i can't stop myself. so i hope some of you out there enjoy. i think the people passing by knew we were from out of town, but still shouted merry christmas and thank you for coming! and threw us candy! as they scooted on by. i'm used to this sort of terrain as a local southern CA girl, but in the context of "christmas" which has been hijacked by the northern snowy climbs- i found the juxtaposition to be awesome... bleak summits of the mojave desert and the whole northpole vibe...

trail of 100 giants... not all 100 giants pictured

these trees are frickin huge! and a happy batch of them are only about 3hours away from LA. my post turkey adventure took me to A TRAIL OF 100 GIANTS... in the southern edge of the seqouias, north of bakersfield and the kern river. i was so focused on getting to the trees i forgot to stop for lunch. I am a bad driver for this oversight though the mountain roads are a bit stomach turning. the crisp smells of mountain air, pine and cedar... make me completely happy. i am earthbound by nature anyway... a taurus with a a taurus rising. look out! so any contact with the earth and nature is a positive one. i'm sorry we didn't stay longer, but i will totally be coming back and camping next time so as to further a constant more immediate contact. i feel like i hallucinated the entire event. these trees can't really be for real! can they?! it is simply AMAZING! how.soul.filling.itallis. this trip wasn't even on my list! imagine. you just stand there and you think, wow... i don't know what to say. they're so ginormous i can't comprehend it.

Silver City Ghost Town

a trip to a small town in the southern sierras would not be complete without a trip to the local museum or uh ghost town... which apparently is suppose to be literally haunted. and what it is , is an assemblage of authentically old bldgs all brought together and saved from demolition. but what i like is a good story and that is when i really will read all the informational placards looking for hints of some... one was about a guy who escaped capture for weeks up in the piute mountains. upon glancing up into the severe brown mountains and harsh rocks, you can see how amazing that might be given the conditions. the other stories were so/so but when the guy who ran the place started going on about the jail being haunted and all the orbs appearing there, i was like ooo, something to look for! my camera of course found nothing except that it was unusually cold in the jail, the kind of cold that seems unreasonable and out of context, and not at all refreshing, and 2nd my camera battery drained. and later it went back to green and when i went back to the jail it drained again. good times! but probably bcs it was so unnaturally cold. friend, sarah also saw something obstructing her camera view in the jail but when she went to see what it was, it was gone. friend callie was lucky enough to catch some floaty spirit orbs (or so the guy says) with her camera. she took one photo in front of the jail doors and 2 orbs appeared and she took it again without altering her position and they were gone. ooo. also she took this unflattering picture of me below. i am very uncomfortable with the giant orb next to me. and then when i was looking at the photo i first took, before i entered the jail i saw some spooky blue discoloration. of course when the 'i swear this jail is haunted' guy saw them he didn't see the giant orb next to me but now he does and is sending it to an "expert" for confirmation as he says it's "unusual" and sadly he doesn't see the bluish figure inside the shadow of the door but i do... hee. either way. it was a good time. look forward to my next post with some NON-imaginary parade floats and trees!

amendment?

It seems to me that I've posted before, maybe even twice before? about crying over the spilled milk and how literally and figuratively, there is no use. Just like the adage says. I'm too tired to look for these old posts and link them here. I'm so tired I could maybe cry, which leads me to the question of whether there is an amendment to the adage that says it is reasonable to cry over spilled milk when that milk is not quite spilled, but spit up in copious amounts from your tiny little baby.

Is there?

I'm so kind of bone-tired today, I'm not actually sure how much I slept last night. The kid ate and ate and ate and every time returned it all to sender, leaving us to not-sleep in a veritable lake. In two different beds. And a couch. This is all surely TMI and is grossing me out to even think about it. But honestly. I think I may have to do yet another load of laundry today to recover all the burp cloths. N.Lo is often a Geyser Child, but this is ridiculous. And then he cries like he's starving which, considering the circumstances, I imagine he is.

Also, K.Lo is in my favorite mood of hers, the one where she's sort of in a good mood, at certain moments, but really she's tired from not sleeping well all weekend, and is therefore just plain insolent. Like you know she's going to soak all the dish towels in the dog water. And strew N.Lo's (clean) diapers everywhere. Twice. Pull the little tiny hairs on N.Lo's head with fingers that sizzle with insolent energy. Stand on the stereo speaker. Ask for things she knows she can't have and dissolve into a whiny, wailing puddle when denied. And touch my keyboard while I'm typing, totally in that "I'm not touching it! Mwahahaha" but-really-almost-touching-it way, which drives me batty. And all the while I can see in her body language that she knows what she's doing is annoying, that she hears the word "no," and while on another more well-rested and charming day would choose to listen, today: not so much.

To add aesthetic insult to injury, the baby is balding and has a full-blown case of baby acne. The latter of which is probably not helped by all the spit up. Everywhere. He is, obviously, still beautiful, but geez.

I'm going to put on a raincoat.

frags

Can't ever: change the bedsheets right the first time. Why is the fitted sheet so hard to figure out? Likewise with the comforter. Always get it turned around so the tag is up by the head of the bed.

During the holiday season, I like to drink Sprite-like drinks (7Up, Sierra Mist, whatev). I just get a craving for it, the way it tastes and something about the way it looks in the glass with the ice. Another holiday fav is pepperoni slices, and when I was 14 and my oldest brother broke the news to us that my grandfather died, I dropped the slice I was eating into my 7Up or Sprite, and it made me laugh at such an inappropriate time. This memory pops into my brain consistently during this time of year.

I'll take a drink in either a plastic cup or a glass. A lot of people I know have a strong preference either way, being grossed out by one or impartial to the other. I see the positives in each.

I wish I had Magic Fairy Dust that would help my daughter sleep peacefully.

I love the Holiday Oreos because a) they are Double Stuf, even if the package doesn't say it and b) the creme in the middle is always some delightfully obnoxious color. I can see some people's faces being offended by the icing, maybe suggesting that the color in it will cause cancer, to which I just sigh because who knows if that's really true.

of late

Bug lingo: When walking into a room, "Hi, guys!" When blowing bubbles, "I did it!" Also, "Shake and bake!" (making Ricky Bobby proud).

Gallons of: spit-up from the tiny one.

Lots of, still: laundry, laundry, laundry.

Who will win? mendacious or pen in the (Mis)Adventures Color War. Note: The latest effort with the light gray-blue and white trim is mine, and may I say, I love it. I merely liked the mulberry. M's dark gray was growing on me, but then she went to this whole Pumpkin Pie motif? And I could not abide. I'm hoping when she comes back from hugging all the trees, she'll forgive me and let me keep my new puppy dog through the holiday season. Because the sight of Bill Nighy and his Love, Actually back-up singers simply warms my heart.

Lovely: Thanksgiving Day w/ fam.

Token trip to ER: Mom, from gouging hand during turkey prep. Two stitches.

Burnt out: too many bulbs on the prelit tree, which was purchased last year. And is not a crap-ola brand. We are miffed. Also, why is it so hard to find replacement twinkle lights that are a perfect fit?

Undecorated as of yet: the tree, due to aforementioned burnout issue and our denial/frustration levels. Although I suppose it's really just my own denial and frustration since I'm the one who does all the ornaments. But neither one of us want to brave Target the day after Black Friday to look for Philips lights.

Cheesy, but adored, and mercilessly mocked by J.Lo: all the Christmas movies I'm DVRing this weekend on Hallmark channel and ABCFam.

Jaw Drop: Me, seeing Sarah Jessica Parker walk out from behind the curtain on ProRun as this week's fashion/pop culture icon. Omg! I silently heckle reality show contestants for giving producers the dramatic reaction they're after, i.e. saucer eyes and jaw drops, when it comes to surprises. But wow, that was kind of big.

Also on that note: I will never get tired of, on ProRun, the following. Seeing Ricky cry. Hearing Christian talk. Watching everyone's reactions to Elisa's Other-Planet practices.

Ready for: Heather to go home on ANTM. I hate to say it. But unless she Toughens Up soon, it's just getting kind of painful to watch.

Getting on my good side again: the doggies. Even though Bender remains special. And Bailey still stares. But anyway, we had a great time playing ball outside today. As did Bug on the swing.

Beautiful mo of a happy day: