Penelope,

This week i'd been fighting off that, I don't have a job and have 5wks to make x amt of money, apprehension. (humming and bubbling right below the surface) Totally distracting and lame. Sometime around wednesday I also forgot to call into JuryDuty. So that as I was suppose to report on thursday and I failed to do so, and realized it only after i read staci's blog about how she was dutifully calling in to juryduty... Which means I now have to call on sunday, for monday... i don't know if that starts me to a whole new week? Or just the two days I lapsed on. I think that would be too optimistic. It sucks because i made it from friday last all the way till wed, then poof out of my head it went. Then yesterday beyond hope I got a 7wkgig@E! It is a lowly PA position most likely going nowhere in the middle of nofreewayland. But oddly not panic inducing. More like a great, lets go, sort of feeling. And now of course I may call to reschedule the jury thing till post gig. Besides that I did manage to get an etsyshopup after 4 years, but now what? Why has no one bought anything. Also shipping policies freak me out. (haven't done) But at least with the 7weekgig I can now pay my autoinsurance and afford the gas to go up to SB to collect more seaweed? And the $60 acu session i charged on tuesday... as that crick in my shoulder never abaited. Its sore but seems on the mend, but my heel of course, he said the muscle was twisting. Today i bought some sports tape. Tightness however is an artform i have not mastered, which induced a limping around hollywood and cutting of my circulation scene. And does that mean i should lay off the walking for a while? It seems to be one little thing after another. It has inspired me to wear my clogs, which aren't perfectly shaped like my holland clogs, but they'll do bean,they'll do. Maybe I could take a chisel and make them larger inside. Which is a benefit of wood shoes. Right now i'm eating a popsicle (or 2). Danica and i survived our prayerwalk through the city. But now no more outings unless we get up ridiculously early or stay out late. What to do. Summer plans laid to waste in an instant. We did find a cheap healthy food place and tried a judo something or other infusion taco truck off sunset, and stopped in for coffee at an independent place on vine. We also ran into a tour guide named vern we'd met from before. So if it be a last hurrah then it didn't go badly.

Besides that operation organize has tanked my energy. Normally I have an unflagging vigor in regards to such projects but this week its been pulling teeth. Where i stare at a box for an hour, come back later, move something, take another break, think about it all over again. It's agonizing. My trying not to look at the whole thing with a complete air of futility and yet still. But I must not be all or nothing. This will help in the end. This restructuring. Lately I've had a tiny bit of sympathy for mom in this ridiculously small house with no storage space. And dad having squeezed her out of the garage. Which must be bigger than our house proper. But why fight for space you don't want to live in. It's like my reluctance to live in the bathroom. Still haven't moved in by the way. (just now emptied a box in there while talking to cath) We don't necessarily need large spaces. My dream though is for an uncluttered one. And thank God for the space i do have. But must keep getting rid of things. Even if i won't part with variously silly things.

Also if i werent' selfabsorbed i'd make you a congrats for staying off FB for 5 hours postcard. But as it is i'm too wrapped up in my anxiety (farmtown playing) and worrying if all this summer food of grilled bbq chicken, corn and watermelon is going to catch up with me. (Probably not.) Oh and the bing cherries. My absolute favorite. And there was that earthquake and the strange overcast mornings in the middle of july. It's positively temperate. A curious summer. And that guy who puts flyers on peoples cars in their driveway. Is it wrong of me to want him chased of properties with a gun? As it is i almost hit him with my car as he seeming like he was about to pass out from the heat and effort staggered across my path with his stolen shopping cart. Which he was going to retrieve from my streetside parking space. He probably lamented that I had not arrived earlier, as he couldn't flyer my car.

I've got to get more to drink and advance onward to the laundry room. Which one day will house the vacuum cleaner, broom and have space for the ironing board. Should i ever own one. We do now but they're in ridiculous places and i wont talk about it. And tomorrow is the prayer people comin' on over. I have no ice. or bacon... but we'll cobble something together. I think.

m,out.