Letter to Pen,

Oh pen. How goes your day. I hope you are well again. Yesterday as I'd mentioned I'd bought some anointing oil w/frankenherzizzle and myrrh and felt slightly adolescent and out of my depth. But that one needs to start somewhere, so that one can eventually walk in confidence. We anointed someone with oil last night for joy, for healing. And I love the biblical precedence of fragrance, incense and that God loves good smells too. Of course the night went long and there was much chatting and suddenly it was 1230am and i wasn't home until 115am. And then i'd realized I was going to discipline myself to pray for the kenya team at 2am everynight. As I covet my sleep, so I thought i'd fast from it. And i slept for 2omin i think before I woke up again to pray.

Let me tell you a 1/2 hour has never moved so slow. I realized quickly I'd also need to set a reoccuring 'you're done' alarm so that i wouldn't glance down at my phone and realize only 8 minutes had past and i thought i had prayed all i could pray, and be filled with despair as my body kept trying to pull me back into sleep. I'm trusting that whyever i'm doing it, for whatever reason that, it's a good thing to do for a couple weeks, and that God may have something in it for me at the end of such a discipline. Though I did not think my time would start in such a way, having stayed out late and my need to rise by 8 so i could go see my volunteer space.

Which is totally a kerfuffle or a clustercuss of expectation and assumption. Which will cause another early morning as I go get mulch from the city. And try to make something out of nothing. As by supplies they meant some plastic gloves and a shovel. And by supplies I meant, potting soil, greenery to be planted and the like and a plan. And they're working against the side of an old office building on a slope, in heavy shade. With no sprinkler system. And no beds. So its run off. I just want the event to be a success and I want the volunteers to feel like they accomplished something you know. And I have this itchy fear of failure or people being miserable. Which I can't control but I need to try and make it the best it can be yes? Because I'm their leeeeeder.

ANyway tonight is the prayer night for the city that ties into the tomorrow. And i get volunteer tshirts so that's exciting. I guess? But as this whole 3wks and the like has spiraled out of my control i'm going to not feel bad about getting fatburger for lunch today and finding something for dinner later. And when i have a moment by my computer i will load pics of a lovely day at the museum, some lovely lunch environs with Parker and more contemplations about Gods sense of humor and this extended studyhall of a job i have. Praise him! For now i'm going to drink some ice water, think about lunch, and the starb*s i'll be having soon after that. Look at me and my need to keep my motor running! Death to my pride. May I stay conscious until i drive back over the hill and hopefully will be in bed by 1030.

m.