Thursday, December 15, 2005

Top 10 Pressing Issues


Things I'm wondering about for after I have the baby:
1. Will I be able to hold he or she without a) physical disaster or b) looking like I have no place holding a baby?
2. Will it really recognize (and prefer) my voice?
3. When I start wearing real, non-maternity pants again, without the convenience of a super-cool elastic band, will I persistently forget to zip up?
4. How long will it take for my tankles to become ankles?
5. And in that vein, when will I be able to wear my rings again?
6. Will Bender, the spazoid jealous tweaky freak of a black lab mix, have to become an outdoor doggy, forever feeling unloved?
7. Will my love for Bill Lumbergh waver?
8. Will Scott and I, as planned, refrain from becoming one of those couples who can only socialize with the topic of their child as a crutch? (Like those couples who have pet birds, and all they can talk about is their birds.)
9. Will my brain eventually regenerate the brain cells lost during pregnancy?
10. What is the ETA on my Guaranteed Total Meltdown, brought on by the new Cosmo Kramer/DaVinci-Inspired sleep schedule?

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