mendacious: but if we can’t/don't/won’t.. we can muse why good blogs die. like johann’s for instance. he's free game.
penelope: i haven't even looked at johann's in a while. that's sad. well, why do good blogs die.
mendacious: well he hasn't posted in uh, more than a month.
penelope: because people think they're not good enough, smart enough, or special enough?
penelope: lack of inspiration.
mendacious: a certain insecurity about what they're going thru?
mendacious: like no one cares?
penelope: a feeling like they're being watched.
mendacious: why do we think things are futile as an artist if no one reads them- appreciates them. Tortured to produce.
penelope: or like people care too much.
penelope: or--they don't want to open up! they're building a giant wall.
mendacious: right- we want attention but not that much attention?! what are we afraid of.
penelope: well, at least we know we appreciate it. i don't know, on my more optimistic days i'd like to think that at least i'm trying to put something out there, even if no one cares.
mendacious: why is it not good enough. i know for me its a treasure chest
penelope: yes, i agree with that too. it really does function as an online journal in that respect. except that it takes up no physical space.
penelope: it's something accomplished and thoughts expressed!
mendacious: right- i think i'd like it to take up more physical space... ha. exactly.
mendacious: dammit. so why do good blogs die. it's tragic.
penelope: indeed. it's frustrating, senseless. and totally out of our hands.
mendacious: you know also i hate to say clichéd words at a time like this but DESIRE- plays so heavy a part.
mendacious: we want to chose our methods of success.
penelope: no, that's totally true. in fact, on the subject of clichés, i've been going through a cliché phase. they're clichés for a reason, right? that grain of truth. desire is absolutely vital. if you're going to give up that will, that's a deliberate choice, i feel.
mendacious: i was just telling someone that using Hitler in an argument will lose you debate points and he just didn't get it.
penelope: um, yes. Hitler definitely requires a certain "context."
mendacious: but desire works in the opposite sense too- if it's not exactly the way we envision it- our words, our thoughts... how many people read it... we determine that we're not a success.... but the point is using Hitler to prove an argument is lazy- though fun.
penelope: agree. envisioning can really get you into trouble in life. like "envisioning" the way your child will turn out. it puts a lot of pressure on the kid. let the baby, and the blog, be what it is supposed to be.
mendacious: exactly- just bcs in your mind you don't think "success" is suppose to look like "this" doesn't mean you give up
mendacious: like a doctor or a lawyer... circus clown or barnacle scrapper.
penelope: i think blogs just need to grow organically. of course you always strive for "greatness" as you define it, but--let it be. let it be, let it be, let it be... the beatles are so smart.
mendacious: why can't the blog just like our MFA's be an end in itself.
mendacious: is that a beatles song?
mendacious: i mean let's look at hitler- he didn't get exactly what he wanted and he ended up killing himself in a dark hole.
penelope: is let it be a beatles song?
mendacious: i can imagine them singing it so why not.
mendacious: but maybe not.
penelope: um, it's a beatles song.
penelope: oh my.
penelope: but in hitler's case, he really should have killed himself in a dark hole. that was meant to be.
mendacious: oh i didn't finish that thought- what i meant to say is sometimes we have to reform what our original idea is of whatever it is we're doing...
mendacious: i mean like- hitler once he got rejected from art school should've just tried another art school
mendacious: (laughing icon)
mendacious: i'm sorry. pen come back. i didn't mean it.