this day started with cancelled plans to yoga, despite the fact that we got an extra hour- C did not want to, nor did i in the face of it, and i noted the promised quiche was not coming, so i decided to get us on a boat tour asap. which was beautiful and too short- she sat inside and i sat outside. paying for us was her idea of being able to sit where she wanted, truly i didn't want her to freeze so i wasn't going to complain. we ate at heaven on 7 which is a fantastic cajun place- i got the crabcakes i should've gotten last time... and some gumbo... and the conversation was sort of back to normal except it perhaps strayed to the morbid. c's fam is rife with cancer and a # of other ailments... which meant more than likely she would get cancer, and then she said, wait this is getting depressing, and i said, well if you're going to get cancer we should start talking about it now... we managed also to talk about other things.
so when i said i was going to meet amber and amy she hesitated for unknown reasons to walk me 3 blocks, said she didnt' want to go to the aquarium with us (which she'd decided last night)- that she was going to clean and take a bath (which she'd decided probably a few hours before)... it did not help to change my mind that she did in fact NOT want to spend time with me or that once again spending time with herself was more important- but i pondered that in the face of working all the time, having a perpetual roommate who is always home, and 1 house guest after the next you sorely grasp at the time you see available and i was sacrificed. it smarts a bit, but i see it- and in someway sympathize.
i told her to leave me and i waited for A/A alone for the 3rd time in the argo tea cafe... with a tasty but overpriced chai/tea/soy/latte... reading monsters. they finally came and after waiting for the bus then deciding to take the train i realized we'd never make it to the aquarium in time and said, guys planB. it's just not worth it. planB was the dark and brooding "Presitge"... which gave us no credit and was rather obvious though suspensful and anxiety producing. i love david bowie as nikola tesla. that was enough of a horror story so after dinner we did not go to the sanitorium for ghost stories or to the glassner house for a ghost tour... butnext time...
i reluctantly went back to spend time with c. which seemed unnatural and stilted... i had the impression she wanted me home, but she didn't think to invite a/a over for dinner... and so far it showed no promise for friend bonding. . . but it can't always be perfect- and i could not think of another thing to say but "you're going to bed?"... yes... "okay... goodbye." bcs she left early for work and i would not be up. and i finished watching southpark- satan and his sweet 16. and as i started to pack i----- came home and we proceeded to have a couple hour conversation on philosophy which he's getting his p'hd in and religion and a host of things where i was tired and incoherently blathering but found what he had to say more interesting even if i didn't agree with some of it... so goodnight, sleeptight and don't miss your plane on the morrow.
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