day 2- things forgotten

not unlike my girth factor realization was the next obvious factor- food. thinking back on all i ate and ate and ate- it is a wonder i did not gain more pounds. it's a love hate thing really- i loved dining alone. it gave me time to reflect, or write, or stare off into space and just enjoy what was before me with no time limit- but of course that was ALL the time and all the food i wanted- as my credit card would attest... so i come back with a much more cautioned sensibility... today though was a day of closures. first i forgot my hairbrush. which is a ridiculous oversight and might say more than i'd like about how low a priority my gorgeous locks are... but onward.

i took the 22 downtown, stopped off at the NewBalance store bcs who doesn't need new shoes when treading the city (my creditcard isn't safe yet)- had a hearty breakfast and began to see a succession of small changes to the city- for one the place i planned on eating at tonight ceased to exit, another place called the outpost was now a pub and the coffee house at a local university was now a hip-wi/fi tea house. made a great chai latte by/the/way... and then back to failed dinner plans the next runner up called the zephyer closed just yesterday after 27 years... you see thats why people say trite things like, the world is a sudden place- or change is in an instant... bcs it is. who knew.

having been thwarted on a lot of turns today first in my search of casual shoes (as there was none bcs the real large-size shoe event was on the 3rd), to discounted clothes- when 50% was still %50 too much @ macys, to my dinner options out with friends... i just shrugged. and felt proud of myself for not voliti-ly spiraling out of control. although perhaps this frustration will inately come out later... i mainly wandered without expectation and marveled at the changes and how nice people were- nice. everywhere. nice. and thought maybe not being on a timetable, with a silly smile on your face makes you suseptible? to this sort of shennanigans. and i wonder if i ambled around LA with this sort of devil may care posturing if people would bother to interact more. but as i write this- i know- why write it then- well- LA is an isolated place- lots of islands, lots of very busy self-important inhabitants (except the locals bcs we're perfect) and the trouble is everyone is from somewhere else- and that does something- a whole host of disinfranchised people wandering around in search of a dream... where as in chicago i can identify various tourists, southside inhabitants, possible transplants, art students, and many, many- i've lived here all my life types- but it's only been a day so i could be wrong... they might've come from someplace too and forgotten the old self in place of the new... but no one seems to do that in LA, bcs they're all carrying around a story and a place to go back to. which i think is why after 3 years i'd began to sort of become schizophrenic about remaining in chicago too long- bcs at a certain point i'd have to detach from Los Angeles and identify with Chicago- and that is what i don't think i was prepared to do...

till tomorrow.
xo.M.