the color of futility

I think it’s a very pale shade of green. Yesterday I helped paint the church basement again, and that sucker ain’t ever gonna be finished. Oh sure, it will get done eventually. I realize that. But when you have in your head 2-3 days and at the end of the first day you barely have a first coat on most – not even all! – surfaces, it feels Sisyphean. There is just so. much. area. to paint.

But at least it wasn’t quite as hot/stale/muggy as the first painting escapade, which translated to me not feeling quite so much like death.

And I shopped for children’s church library books today. I feel like we were successful? And that I might understand why there’s no big box bookstore in D-ville? Because everyone just goes to Goodwill. Seriously could have spent the day looking through their books. But after awhile and before that another new-used hole-in-the-wall store that will never survive if they charge everyone as little as they charged us, I was running on vapors and had to quit. Note to self: ALWAYS BRING ALMONDS.

Whatelse. School is going swimmingly for K.Lo. She’s been processing her school days behind a closed bedroom door, playing teacher for hours. Really. It’s the most awesomest thing ever. J.Lo has a nasty cold that he’s trying to pass on to me. I’m waving around bunches of garlic but I’m not sure it’s going to work. I'm also pseudo job hunting again, very specifically for online something or other, for the moment. And it always sends me into a deep spiral about my abilities and inabilities and back to that pale shade of green. But I’ll buoy myself out of it dammit, at least to send in an application or two. RIGHT?

Or something.

Those PBS montages are just epic. Thank you for insisting I watch them finally, as I noted their presence on pinterest awhile ago and told myself to click on them but never did. I can’t even decide which is my fave. Eating, imagination and art. I mean. Let’s just embrace all three shall we. THE STUFF OF LIFE.

Also who wouldn’t embrace a random independence day that is highly symbolic. And go you with your epic weight loss! Someday perhaps you’ll blog more about that. And what you think home will hold, after your sentence contract ends.

I suppose it’s bedtime but I’m feeling noncommittal. I’d really like to usurp – is that really a word and am I using it in the right context – control of the television so I can finally watch ProRun, but I’m allowing the sickie to do some Netflix movie streaming. Which leaves me and my marginally amusing book club read, which no one else in the group has had the time or energy to even start, so the motivation has sort of dissolved very quickly. But we’re meeting at a sushi place on Friday night, so I’m looking forward to that part. Just not the reading part. Maybe I’ll forage for a new book tonight, hmm.

Also, all of my clothes suck, being baggy, or old, or appropriately summery. Basically I am ready to wear jeans. But perhaps I’ll be both ambitious and lucky tomorrow in revamping an old shirt or two to fit correctly. and not hideously. or pale greenly, by which I mean metaphorically, not literally.

that is all. goodnight.