Monday, August 20, 2012

I can tell I’m on the brink of an energy fizzle. This always happens when I get all uber ambitious and knock out a bunch of tasks in a short period of time and then wonder why I can’t be that way all the time. It would be so easy! And it keeps one energized, to be so energized! But then I never factor in downtime, or enough downtime, or underestimate its absolute necessariness and boom. So I get that you wouldn’t necessarily want to *be* a teacher because of the go-go-go requirement. We need to breathe. But maybe the teachers who need it find a way to breathe; surely they must?

Things accomplished today: Job application, sent. Church library wish list, transferred. Library troops, notified. Bed sheets, laundered and changed. Dinner, planned. Pool water, drained, refilled. Etc. Etc. And more.

I can also tell I’m about to crash when I feel overly optimistic in the midst of all that Doing. And wonder why I can’t be that way all the time. Doesn’t it come naturally! I think it does, but I also think pessimism comes just as naturally. It’s a battle of dark and light and when I am caught in the light I think I can stay there forever, why couldn’t I, why shouldn’t I. Is that a weak thought? The dark seems to see it that way, takes the moment of that thought as its cue to appear and extinguish all light.

Is a mix of light and dark at all times safer, or wiser? Can those levels be controlled? Should they? Shouldn’t they? Can I be any more abstract. I totally didn’t intend on spiraling down Philosophy Lane at the outset of this post and yet. I await your pondering response.


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