apparently there was a shake down at work today. some firings... and of a couple of my favorite people. who possibly smoke too much pot which explains their latent stupidity. also apropos, bcs i was just going to blog about this anyway... i'm a bit of a thief.
lately or because i'm paranoid, all the time, i hear little comments that belie a certain conception of me and i might like it just a little too much. 'you have a mischievious look on your face', 'stay out of trouble'... and the like. especially with our head detective who though cordial and generally he really likes me, there is an element of sizing me up and feeling me out... he makes comments now and again that let me know he's watching and a bit suspicious... and hoping he's wrong... but that he wouldn't be 'surprised'. he jokes that i make a run for the door, and that if i don't have my bag checked we'll have to 'sit down and have a talk' and yet... granted, and this is why i know i'm not NOT a thief, is that I don't take for granted i have freedom. i assume i'm being watched, tracked, identified and noted...
the fact that when these guys got caught for cheating the frequent buyer system- i thought wow, stupid. they shouldve at least taken on 6-8 rotating identities and come up with a purchasing system, like duh of course they're being watched! too bad. not clever enough! not, for shame, though steal'th from the corporate monster! i had, to my mind, already thought of a couple ways to steal from the store without getting caught (hopefully)... just on idle time... i tell you i'm reformed. i swear! but this is where my mind goes. i look for what they're looking for, what 'to catch a thief' scenarios are in place- where is the camera? how do i avoid the camera? where are the blindspots... sit in those. where to steal time and all the rest. i can't help myself. think of it as habitat enrichment, a mensa problem solver...nothing but killing the time, and saying, no, no, that's a bad mendacious- you live a reformed non-thefting life. just walk on by.
4 comments:
I always thought you had suspicious eyes. Then I realized it there wasn't anything suspicious about your eyes at all, they were just being judgmental.
I'm joking.
Please don't put a curse on me.
Ah habitat enrichment, like when we put dog biscuits in the last bit of peanut butter for our dogs...
Darn those shake-downs. I hope those peeps you like are doing okay.
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