oh m…

I’m feeling a little stabbed in the heart at the moment, and this fuzzy navel drink is too sugary, but I suppose I will persevere. As K.Lo noted while reading a pretend story tonight, “And that’s why a Penelope never gives up.” I don’t know where she gets this stuff from … possibly it was a sign from the universe to not feel too let down. But I do. No dreamjob for me. No debt reduction. No furthered sense of validation in the career department.

But a Penelope never gives up.

I did say that if I didn’t land said dreamjob, I would take it as a sign to get more involved with cause A, and I feel called to do that. For reasons I may or may not expound on someday. Secrets about Penelope. Ooo. But the questions for me are not why, but how, what, when, where? I mean aside from this crap economy, it’s a problem. And I guess it’s all a slow-building thing, like freelancewritingingeneral, but it’s hard to be patient and confident that it will all pay off, and be meaningful to boot.

Meanwhile, TWC (semi-evil cable co.) is switching up the channel lineup, and I’m trepidatious that it will affect my DVR settings. Because omg, what an organizational nightmare, right? But then, also in the meantime, we are likely switching companies, and so everything will be turned upside down anyway. Possibly twice, if we do switch. I just don’t want to miss Survivor or Top Model, it’s all I ask.

And speaking of Survivor, DBruckner, I have a lot to say… I said some of it on CliqueClack that one time. Which I want to do again, but it’s a resources issue: time vs. no money. But oh yes, lots to say. I don’t even know who I’m rooting for at this point? is one thing. I feel Courtney should have been voted out weeks ago, before Boston Rob and Coach, both. But I do sort of love Russell in spite of it all? But then, his ego. His downfall. Ugh. So frustrating to watch. On the other hand: Jerri and Coach? Ha ha ha ha ha!

But back to my letter to m. I eventually (or all at once, as I’m prone to do) want to rip out the landscaping cloth in the front yard and put down real dirt. There’s just hard-packed sand under there, and that landscaping cloth is the devil. I hate it on principle, and we did not lay it down. Previous homeowners, curses. In addition to the new tree, which is doing lovely(!) I’d like to add a few more trees someday and see if something can be done to spruce the area around the porch, on the relatively cheap. Maybe some sort of low-maintenance creeping plant that loves any soil and does not mind sun. Does it exist? Somebody’s mom?

Did you watch that Good Hair doc on Netflix, or…?

Also, the farmer’s market has started, and strawberries will be ready for picking next week. So those things are exciting. I’m still not reading enough, but at least I’ve read a few pages or whatever. Almost halfway through the kungfu book.

I’ve now broken the the first rule of SleepClub, up past a certain hour and still on the computer, provoking my neurons into twitchy behavior … it’s not good. So good night. Happysafe journeys to Chi in the morning. 

pen