world's ugliest countertops: a photo salute

This post serves to both honor the world's ugliest countertop, and to bid it farewell. Within the next two weeks, it will be obliterated and refaced with granite tile. BLACK granite tile, which I believe is going to look super cool: glossy, starry, sharp. And I won't for a second miss the Emerald City countertop, the Green Mistake, the Vomitous Laminate Ode to the 70s or 80s or Plain Bad Sense. I invite you to look closely, not just at the hideous brushes of color, the smudges that won't go away, or the big and little cracks in the surface. Try and imagine the texture. Take in the places where it's worn away to leave patches of white. Behold its full, unsightly glory.

For the effect of a true Before Photo, just like the shabby clothes and bad makeup people wear before their makeover, I've left all our usual crap out on the counters, the dishes and the dirt and the pacifiers and the little plastic baby I found in a cake that's supposed to bring me good luck for a year. And the candy. Don't you think that candy's going to look so much better against a black granite backdrop? I think so.