findings, by m

Good Afternoon. We apologize for deluging you with words after a month gone. And with no flashy new spins or whistles. The second week we were gone my heart got all achy for the blog. But then as with most neglected things I upped my netflix que, started drinking and tried to fill the hole with anything but words. By now I'd been so long away that I couldn't remember what it was to blog or why and I drank less and started working out more. Then I started getting twitchy and as pen and I phrase it "spirally" as in downward because having now been out of work for a month not all my problems were spontaneously fixed, not all the things on my list were crossed off, and things were stacked up high in my mind and i couldn't quite see my way clear to be excited about the blog or to study for french and all i watched was MurderSheWrote. Pen insists my malaise might be due to watching copious amounts of SixFeetUnder but I insist that my mom not having life insurance is up there along with my dad being an asshole along with the kitchen and the bathroom being a shithole along with it being winter along with our book not being finished or me not wanting to work or my waistline or my age or my single status or well just about everything i could suck into the dark matter vortex. Because one thing like not working might be the event but all these other things become echoes until the horizon is chalk full of a whiny gooey mass. Though the upside of rain is that the drought is over and that the paint that got into my hair is water soluble, i think... and that the sun is out before you know it and Spring around the corner. Just writing that in this little form makes me feel all sorts of grounded and normal. I can feel myself being more productive already.