Now that I have children (yes mendacious, you must accept it finally), I find myself thinking a lot about the issue of patience. I think that possibly I am a very impatient person by nature, and that it takes a certain level of energy and conscious (and conscientious) choice to act patient, which I am trying to do as much as possible, for the children. And me. And society. But I find it all very unfair that I have to try so hard. Why can't it just come naturally? Or why can't the person I really am, the person I am without trying, be good enough. I guess it's all about showing your kids you have a choice on how to act, which of course I'm very big on, and that in life they're going to be faced with negative emotions, and they must choose how they will handle them, blah blah blah. But it just makes me tired, keeping up that front, modeling all that annoyingly Good Behavior. Pretending that the moods and tantrums of other people don't phase or affect me. Remaining all upbeat. Why wasn't I born chipper? Why can't that be me.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
nature vs. energy
Now that I have children (yes mendacious, you must accept it finally), I find myself thinking a lot about the issue of patience. I think that possibly I am a very impatient person by nature, and that it takes a certain level of energy and conscious (and conscientious) choice to act patient, which I am trying to do as much as possible, for the children. And me. And society. But I find it all very unfair that I have to try so hard. Why can't it just come naturally? Or why can't the person I really am, the person I am without trying, be good enough. I guess it's all about showing your kids you have a choice on how to act, which of course I'm very big on, and that in life they're going to be faced with negative emotions, and they must choose how they will handle them, blah blah blah. But it just makes me tired, keeping up that front, modeling all that annoyingly Good Behavior. Pretending that the moods and tantrums of other people don't phase or affect me. Remaining all upbeat. Why wasn't I born chipper? Why can't that be me.
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2 comments:
um dude, cuz then i wouldn't be your friend. so there's that. fuckin' chipper mz.chippersons. they can all kiss it! i think theres a diff btw letting it effect you in a harmful way vs. getting stepford about it. bcs couldn't you show your irked but not be all aghhh! blargh! about it ot i don't know. think how much worse you'd be if you hadn't had bender first? maybe? i don't know. i'm going back out to build my base tan. its all too much.
yeah, chipper's no way to be. upbeat is highly overrated. we much prefer your snark. it makes things more amusing for us at the very least.
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