All my cousins are guys. (Well except for the last one, 18 yrs too late, and she from what i hear is just a sad wee sheeple). And it puts me pretty well in the middle. 8 yrs, 6yrs, 5yrs older, 3 1/2 yrs, 6 yrs younger, 18yrs... Guys. Guys-guys. Mechanics. Sports loving. Construction. Salt of the earth type guys. And my brother... So needless to say i'm used to guys. I find their presence familiar and comforting, which i think is why, among just wanting a guy for myself, and liking guys- generally, besides how irritating they can sometimes be- is why i was so happy to be working with so many guys. Which means I get to hear most everything about their dating habits, philosophies on life, movie tastes, not-so secret obsessions with star wars... and whatever. when my cousin came over on sunday he went off about girls- girls and their games. because he said, they all play games. then i get the boys in the office, as told by the only married one among them, that they at 30'something were even questioning if they should pay on the first date or how many times should they pay? and that taking her to a crappy restaurant on the first date tests how shallow she might be- and this one guy was from the south and i'm thinking? isn't that ingrained gentlemanly conduct? is it now passe? when i first met pen's soon to be (week 3 of their relationship) i felt like a lady-in-waiting. he paid for both of us a couple of times and i thought this guy is amazing. though weird to be a 3rd wheel so early into things. but anyway, my cousin talked about having to build up some sort of rust coating in regard to women and their fickle flake like attentions, how he gets numbers but never dates, how in some sense he has to be persistent and overcome and be an asshole bcs girls dont like nice guys... and all this talk has left me sort of going huh? it leaves me feeling like a clueless guy who has no idea of the ways of women... and then i think none of the women i know behave in these game running ways... and then i think maybe everyone should relax a little and stop thinking strategies... bcs the right one is rarely found thru this sort of herculean effort. but he doesn't think of me as a woman. which maybe is part problem part comfort. that he doesn't consider the way i am to be the ways of women he knows- so it seems unfortunate to be around all these boys and not be a voice of women bcs then i'm not like them am i, however they are?! i don't.get.it. anyway this post has lost control of itself. no conclusions but confusion. perhaps there is us and there is them... and all those dating books, relationship books shouldve been read over common sense. i know not. whatever happened to timing? and luck and a little knowhow. anyway back to 'youtube' videos.
peace. m.
9 comments:
And how many of the women you know who don't play games like that are dating? Just curious. I'm hoping it's a big ratio, so that I have good odds... :)
hmmm. all so complicated... maybe we shouldn't think so much? or maybe not make so many generalizations, although there ARE inherent differences btw the sexes, some ways in which we'll never understand e/o, even in the best of situations....
wow, that's right, week 3. craaazy!
I do know that after paying for my date several times, if said date doesn't offer to go dutch by about the third time, I move on. I just can't afford it!
yeah, i get that question/complaint from my guy friends too. but almost anonymous makes a really good point b/c i know a lot of great girls who don't play those games and they are not dating for the most part. they're not being asked out or pursued. they are being overlooked in favor of the kinds of girls who you can pretty much bet are adept at playing the games guys are always complaining about. GUYS, if you don't want to play games or be played, try asking out girls who, um, maybe don't play games. just a thought...
kurt... oh dear.
By the grace of my abiding ignorance, I never know whether I'm in category I or II... I guess it's easier to separate into two distinct categories, but in truth, it's never than easy. The interesting guys/gals are the ones who make it a mystery...
There will always be games. But the question is - are you having fun playing them? If not, they're probably mean mind games and you're not in the right place. But if it's a teasing game that's kind of fun and makes you feel a little bit breathless, that's a good thing.
(P.S. This relationship advice brought to you by a single woman. Hmmm.)
I hope you enjoy my blog. Write-in Mike Fabel Jr. for presidency if change is what you seek. My qualifications are spelt out on my blog. Take care, Mike.
P.S. Tell a friend...
Personally, I prefer Tetris.
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