Thursday, December 13, 2012

#25

It's raining.
Drinking Darjheeling tea.
Listening to Amelie. The accordian lulling me down the causeways of Montemart.
Potatos cooking.
Work awaiting.
The sea gulls appearing after months of none.
Wondering about the weekend.

Yesterday was the perfect weather day. Today no. Tomorrow no. Will try not to regret it too much.

So the orphans- really i haven't helped them yet. I need to actually transfer the money still. But yah, orphans on jeju. I don't know. It has to happen but it doesn't seem like it should. The one thing I do like is that our school has 4 spaces for orphans so they can learn english. That's pretty cool. I don't know if some union makes our hagwon do it but it's still good. They blame everything on the union. Oh the hagwon "union" decided we don't get the day off... The other day the k teachers threw a fit and now we have election day off- It makes me think we should collectively have gotten upset way more? Or that their resistence is really low post firing of the other M. I mean they try try try to get away with everything though so if you don't call them on it they tip toe on over the line. That's the thing. But hurrah! we've got the day. Then my new flatmate- i said this already right? Blew up about the fact we eat in the hallway lunchroom too and how we only have 20 minutes and now we get to eat in the teachers room our desks after all of us complained about. Maybe now they want to appear accomodating? I can't say. Wait wait i was talking about orphans. Stop it. Right now.

And the radio thing- my bad. I really didn't have a handle on it. Didn't think about the fact until too late that my friends in the US could listen to it and that it was in fact a national radio station being broadcast to all english speaking/listening peeps in korea and could be accessed by the world. Whoops. Jeju does that to you. Sorry. So I got a gift of 60 to appear on the program and because there are only so many foreigners on the island it's pretty easy to get involved. And do things for the station. My friend sjt was subbing as the dj for a week because the actual dj was on vacation for his honeymoon and he happens to be from CA originally and goes to our church. So there you have it. That explains everything right? If only Bruckner were here to penetrate into the depths of what i avoid saying or am failing to do on the island. Which by the way- love. No not yet. But anyway the time went fast and I of course was charming and I'm sure they're like, that M girl - let's get her back!

Also- not allergic to dust and mold and blah... They tested me for that. I think it's dairy. I read some article the other day about how wheat, milk and soy were all bound up together and often confuse the body- one for the other. So that is maybe my next target besides roving airborne allergens. I don't know.

What else?

I was getting a little dark about everything last night. It was just a bad last class of the day. You just don't want to see your kids make bad choices. And there's that line where you're like ok they're being adolescent and aren't we all and then you're like wait, your moral ambivilance is going to lead to X, may God prevent it. And then i got dark about finances. Which why!? This is the longest I've ever been employed and I may only have spent $1,000 over my estimated savings for the year. !? I'm doing really well! There has been overspending but let's not eat shame over it. God's going to see me through here. He's working with me. It's ok. And i'm still a size 16 down from a 22/24 so progress has been made on all inconceivable fronts.

I feel a gratitude list coming on and since I decided to catch the later bus I have about 10minutes in which to do so:

mandarins: for free, all over the island from farmers who have an excess. yes please. thank you.
classes: most of them don't suck and it's awesome to see how the younger kids are really doing so well. and junior high is just junior high. there's nothing to be done about it.
time: thank you Jesus that as I hand it over to you it whips by and only a few times lately have i felt completely tyrannized by it. work has mostly been going quickly and pleasantly.
x-rayed: no, nothing there. move along.
job: what, i have one!
food/shelter/clothing: coffee, a place overlooking the ocean, and friends who give me clothes. wicked awesome.
friends: who love me
the jejuchurchcrew: really really amazing they've turned out to be. small but so lovely.
the weekends: fabulous mostly on all counts.

Penelope, my prayer today for us: may our hearts be lifted heavenward and feel the adoration of Him who loves us. Who walks with us. Who is gentle and affirming and does not withhold. He is a Lord who gives and does not take. Our blessings abound in Him. And though we're stuck in the tension of the inbetween places, let us wait with hope and anticipation in who is to come and has come. Though we double over with the nits, and hurl over horrible students, may we see some light on which to believe against the dark.

Lighting the advent candle.
xo, m.






 

2 comments:

bruckner said...

You rang????

First, I do relish in the fact that the mere mention of my name conjures up the subject of love, along with the need to unburden yourself of carefully guarded secrets. After all, that's really what you're avoiding to share with us, your semi-loyal readers. So go on, let it out. Give us all the details. While you're mindful not to declare being in 'love,' there must be something there, or else why bother mentioning it?

Secondly, I love (a word I do not toss around lightly) any and every opportunity to delve deeply into your tumultuous psyche. As such, I feel the need to press you on this matter. What are you hiding? Why not go ahead and spill the proverbial beans? They're not doing you any good all bundled up. I promise you'll feel much better about yourself after you share with the world the true stimulus of your soul!!! (I'm hoping it's a cute Korean boy, q son of a shipping tycoon or something).

m said...

i did ring!