Thursday, March 31, 2011


I keep thinking of inexplicable weeping Virgin Mary statues, but maybe that has nothing to do with anything. I’m sure it doesn’t.

Thank you for this most endearing distraction. I can endlessly muse on why as a water person you are so territorial about who invades your space. The fish prove to be provoking and mysterious in the ways in which they displace your calm seas. Perhaps you are the aggressive fish in the preverbial tank? So there's some part of you that resents their presence. Though i'd much prefer if your tank was truly taking on signs. But I'll settle for the signs already laid out- there may only be room for you in the water. I am not certain.

Yesterday I hung out in the shade and stared into space. There was some marvelous talking toward midday and I even managed to swim 20 lengths (a meager amount in my mind). But you get the general tone of the day. The parents also have taken to getting marley to clean the plates after dinner. He actually does a pretty good job of it, but the Bodo void as I might call it is fairly strong. Dog vacuum? It frustrates all your expectations of coming home, going outside, dropping things on the floor. (sad face). But what to do. He was maybe will have been the best dog ever. And after moping? Mope. After his non-presence I mostly just wandered around and ate popcorn way too late. And could not be induced to do much of anything else. Ok, well I did find 3 things to give away. Somehow the does always make me feel better. And all the while house international was on. I couldn't even imagine why they went for the house near the golf course. And after a dose of holmes inspection I am now very concerned about termites- wood contacting dirt is BAD. Is all I'm saying.

Beyond that I've got that twitchy or not so twitchy restlessness about me. Being bored with being bored is where I might be at. There's nothing on tv, the internet and who wants to read! Bah. Despite the other day my 1924 text translated from the German in 1995- did contain a sentence using the word "gim-crackery". It was fantastic. We'll let it all go and reexamine next week. I mean i owe money on taxes. Granted I am only $20 short for the month. But where is it going to come from? Can God's provision not include my indebtedness to others. Despite the awesomeness of being in relationship. Which I do like. But not the creditcards. Hmm. Oh and I've been the same weight more or less since last July. I mean I know that's mostly a good sign? Sort of. But really its just another sign of things not changing. Whine. Are we sure I don't have some nutty pituitary issue? I could be eating too much popcorn and ok, bacon for breakfast, but really in order to see results what must be done. Let's not talk about strenuous exercise. Though maybe another trip up the mountain is in order? I don't think my body will hold out though. So nevermind that. Not eating or radical healing are the only other options.

Meanwhile Lent is going well. To bring back the fish analogy- where am I going to cast my net? Lord, teach me how to fish and show me where the best spots are. Tap my shoulder and point as i dangle my feet out over the edge of the water. Hours/Days may pass but let me respond to your prompting and cast the line.

(I mean i imagine that is what fishing is like. Lots of endless water. No results. Then... BAM. Right? I'm a fisherman right? That's how I'm feeling. Baitless and hungry. A barbarian perhaps just stumbling upon a stick. There's all sorts of places this could go.)


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