i painted my nails red and am contemplating hairstyle and accessory choice for the wedding tomorrow. the first one i've been to since '07? i guess i shy away from people getting married? or ? none of my friends are getting married? i went to too many when i was in my 20's along with all those babyshowers. lets be honest. i mean i'm never going to see a monetary return on all of these. and this one wedding i was in. spent nearly $800+ on ended. sad. and then i think will i ever and ... i responded to her saying, WOH! but never heard back after. nevermind.
i really was going to talk about this awesome glutenfree pizza i got to have courtesy of sarah and her awesomeness, and then i got to have some again, and again and it was still as fantastic as it was before. oh and i suspended my netflix for a month. i'm going to just call it a lent thing. last week up until about wednesday i felt pretty onboard and now i just feel checked out. oh and vandals came and effed with my church garden. beyond uncool. and i'm $70 short on bills for the month. thankGOd for moms. this week begins the official breaking back out of the credit card to pay for things like gas... and the beautiful mercy of my friends who treat me to lunch and dinner and lattes- it rends my heart to be so taxing? or needy? but then i feel the love. so it can't be all bad. the feeling? of feelings? but will i ever be not needy in this way? isn't it just a tad unproductive? i'm trying not to let circumstances steal my joy. because there always will be circumstances won't there? and monday i'll get back on schedule- do some prayer, job search, play borderlands for 5 hours. go to church- since we're canceling services bcs the LAmarathon is running down our street, and so we're having services Monday? yah, i don't know. why not i guess.
maybe work on the quilt tomorrow cuz as lisa points out i totally should. and finish it. even though i have no one to will it to. or heirloom it too? but still its for me right if no one else. and thats something. and one day i'll have a bed to put it on. maybe. well anyway its going to rain tomorrow and i'm going to stalk snails who are eating my maidenhair ferns. for now i think i will get some water and channel surf.