Animal Facts Wednesday, by special guest writer pen

May I begin by saying, *ew.* I don’t know how m can write these things every week in such a kind and generous way. Acknowledging that undomesticated animals are all beautiful and complex and integral to our ecosystem and whatnot. This week, we are talking about a housefly. Because, as previously mentioned, there a lot of houseflies in my house at the moment. I do not know why. I still have visions of poisoned rats littering the space underneath our deck, though I have no logical explanation for how these theoretical creatures would have gotten there. And it’s not like it smells or anything—I have smelled a dead, poisoned rat or two in my day, and there ain’t no mistaking. (Plus, I looked under the deck. No rats. No dog poop, either.) But the flies are on the slow and sluggish side. At least slow and sluggish enough that they appear to be having a coffee hour of sorts, or maybe a book club meeting, like the French door windows are just the place to be at the mo, to meet, and hang, and discuss. I will say that a) their presence has diminished somewhat in the past three days and b) I still have no viable theories as to their presence. Or c) how to get them the fuck out of my house.

BUT, houseflies are wonderful and magical, people. It’s true. And I am here to convince you of this truth with the following facts (courtesy of the wiki):

• Adult flies are 6-9 mm long.
• Female flies are slightly bigger than males.
• They are primarily gray (thorax) with 4 dark longitudinal lines on their backs.
• Their bellies are yellow. Yellow-bellies! Ha. Ahem.
• They are covered in hair.
• Female flies have a larger space btw their compound eyes.
• Their compound eyes are RED.
• They have one pair of wings, but also hind “halteres,” which balance them in flight.
• EACH female fly can lay 9000 eggs, which are white and 1.2 mm long.
• They are born as MAGGOTS, and live and feed in things like garbage and shit.
• After a week of being a maggot, they crawl to a cool, dry place where they transform into pupae, and then into a HOUSEFLY.
• They don’t grow after becoming a housefly. If you see a small housefly, it just didn’t get enough to eat while it was a young maggot.
• After 36 hours of being a housefly, females are ready to breed.
• Females usually only mate once, store the sperm and use it for multiple egg-layings.
• Male flies are territorial. Shocker.
• Flies need warmth.
• Flies take in liquid food only. They spit on solids for pre-digestion, and then suck it up.
• Flies can walk on walls and ceilings. Glands near their feet secrete liquids that create a surface tension, making said wall-walking possible.
• When they’re not flying around, they’re preening. They like to preen.
• Fly swatters have HOLES in them to lower air resistance, which would clue in the fly to its fate.
• Flies have been around like, forever, but the real housefly evolved about just 65 million years ago.
• In colder places, houseflies can only survive around humans.
• They can carry diseases aplenty. Typhoid. Dysentery. Anthrax. Stuff like that. Parasitic and bacterial diseases, viruses. You name it.
• They eat constantly, and poop constantly, which helps them to be such good disease carriers and filth perpetuators.
• They can fly for several miles!
• Houseflies are active in the day, and sleep at night.