Under the Wire

Ah well. what am i to do. Today is my last day at this film company- where i've been doing office assistant reception stuff. I think my favorite part of this job is just observing all the politics. people dynamics. what not. like just now someguy started talking firmly to another guy talking firmly in the lobby about ruining the film and not getting a final cut and the air became a bit tense but the minute anyone else walked by it was all smiles and hi! The days go by fast with all the phone answering and internet surfing. i have very rarely reached a slumped over position in my chair saying, god won't it end. although that's probably bcs i'm aware of it's finite nature. there is something fundamentally wrong with waking up at 730 to get to work early-ish before 9 to leave by 6! to not get home before 7. Bam. there goes the entire day. it's wretched. and if i have to go somewhere after then it's just figuring out a way to cross the also heinous traffic. wow. i'm seething inwardly, my chest is tightening. i have to take a deep breath. back, back in the deep dark box you go. everything is --- sun... shine! put on your happy face!

now normally i wouldve blogged about work a lot more but i've not been subjected to humiliating tasks or mundanity and there is no office joe to ponder about and i'm just under the radar that no one can really yell at or fire me no matter how "incompetent" I'm being or how slow i am to order coffee and not recognize the presidents voice. plus I can use whatever kitchen i want too- and only on one day did a few nasty people call and wonder why i existed just to not be able to help them. but i got to pull the, well i've only been here a few days so... even though they didn't buy it. how has it been 3wks- a total of 9 days.

Just now: "why doesn't anyone want to take responsibility for tracking prints." Other guy: blah blah something. This guy, "It's fucking ridiculous is what it is." Blah, blah something something.

But if you're still with me, let's talk about the boys. bcs the girls here are few and inbetween and most of them are far away from me and are older, crazier and so not cool. this one being sounds like risabel- just hangs up on me if i can't help her without so much as a thank you then calls in yesterday and tells me to tell her boss that she's not coming in. right. i'll do your dirty work. and then there's this girl, short for incorporated, that says inappropriate things about jesus and niggaz and has the air of someone who is pissed off about where she now finds herself. i understand, a lot of people are pissed off in this place. but right the boys: jesus' beloved is a bit of an asshole. not to me- mind you- but to this other guy who seems to be picked on and derided by all the boys bcs he has a hot silly girlfriend and bcs he seems too eager or restless or whyever boys bcm picked on by other boys. he also doesn't like sports which doesn't help this boy bcs the beloved loves them and so does the VP and the producers asst and incorporated, and the HR guy and about 3 other boys who talk about sports/ESPN (which are on in our office) with the corporate "we" and "our team" and "they will" and "are you crazy?!" bcs they're going all the way this year and your team sucks! so there! so the boy is left to study his GRE testbook and ponder film making or theory while an occassional condescending remark is thrown his way like: it's not your concern. don't worry about it. just go do your job. (as the smirks and eyerolls continue after his departure)

the beloved however has had it with this place and is seeking his fortune elsewhere and the priceless phrase "if i'm still doing this when I'm 30..." passed his poutty philadelphia lips i could not help but spread a wide grin at such a careless but truthful statement. Yes, beloved, yes, go seek your dreams. Otherwise I have nothing to say to this surly personage except once i said, "do you know anything about nuclear reactors?" and he smiled.

but my real heart is attached to the young presidential bear who serves this chaotic den of thieves. he always has a sad look in his eye of abject misery. i say something like, staving off the apocalypse? and he says, "no more so when they were trying to fire me yesterday." poor boy. as he stacks bottled water on the table he says, "yes you know, because this job is so meaningful and important to my life." i say, "aren't we all plotting our escape?" he smiles.

and then another overheard snippet: "I'm not giving so and so (the guy with the movie about the flower) more money. I already gave them 4 million. I'm not giving them anymore." blahblahblah etc etc.

so with that i kick up my feet. drink my bottled water and read the trades. variety, hollywood reporter- see if there's anything i care about happening in the world- and just today spotting a friend in the mag and knowing i'm in a different world indeed.