ho hey, ho hum

Good morning or evening, as the case may be,
At the moment I'm extremely restless, but this hasn't been the norm. No, it's more - wake up, J.Lo, so we can make some biscuits! and the puppy can quit clamoring for your presence already. And the coffee hasn't cooled enough to sip, and I'm too scared to open the biscuit can. And dagnabbit, the puppy keeps chewing on your shoes and my pillowcases. Oh my.

But anyway. Let's talk about madskillz in the Goodwill shopping dept. Ooo, I would so love to go to one or three of your Goodwills in LA. Because if I'm finding decent stuff here (The Loft! Old Navy! Express! J.Crew!) I can only imagine what I'd find there. So far I've added to my wardrobe for outrageously minimal expense: dress shoes, dress pants, a skirt, multiple shirts - some dressy but mostly casual, a sweater, a cardigan, a pair of cords and a pair of jeans. Some of it mildly flawed, of course (like how am I going to get the sharpie-d on price of $4.99 off the bottom of that one pair of shoes?), but some of it remarkably unworn looking. A month ago before I understood the sale system, I had tried on a bunch and wanted to walk out with it all, but then the sale items were explained, and I sighed and put most of it back. But then! I realized most of this stuff probably wasn't going anywhere, so each week I come back and pilfer the things that are currently $1. It's like a game, I admit, and I'm most amused by my take-home clothes-lotto winnings. And then - because I've done a barely adequate job of maintaining a proper wardrobe over approximately the last 10 years, I trade out - with the old. In with the new. All my shit goes back to Goodwill to possibly make someone else happy.

Whatelse. My interview was rescheduled for Tuesday @ 9:30 a.m. EST so everyone think Good Thoughts during that time. I'm waiting for ANTM to start again, even though I secretly hate it. I'm ready for spring! Because it looks like spring some days, but then it's just too chilly to abide. And the other day (maybe Thursday?) was completely gray, dank and like a weather personification of these crap-ass death colds that have been incessantly circulating around our family. J.Lo is on the mend and me too, but now the children are hacking. What on earth. Die germs! already.

I've been working on an article for a digital magazine, randomly, about traversing the world of organics, and segued in my research to find a CSA that we're totally going to join. Since we can do a quarter bushel every week for 24 weeks, for slightly more than $10/week. I feel like it's an awesome plan to supplement our garden yields.

Speaking of plants, I'm still devastated by proxy about your lot being taken all apart. All the symbolism and magic that went with it falls, also. So unfair.

I still have to blog about those creepy, I mean awesome, caterpillars. They're all in full chrysalis at the moment, waiting. evolving under wraps. And totally gross looking in their crunchy, gray, unassuming state. Well, but it's' true!

Ugh, now the children are demanding to be fed. How rude.
Will e you more in a bit - xo,
your penelaotang

antM finales,

So… We all knew Teyon—oops, Krista,would win, right? And I do notice that in the last episode the editors work extra hard to make sure both girls are likeable enough to be a Cover Girl. (But do they ever air those commercials outside of the competition??) I did like both girls more by the end of the episode, Krista and her cute family – and her last picture (ugly/pretty) did kick ass, for sure. And Rainna and her geeky pictures of yore, and her complete, genuine confusion that her optimism seems to piss some people off. I kind of love her optimism, even though she half needs a smack. I just always wonder how hard people have to work at that perpetual upbeatness, or does it come as naturally to them as my prickliness comes to me? I mean, I am an optimistic individual much of the time, but not peppy. I guess that’s the difference.

So anyway, I think Krista probably did deserve to win, though at one point, and I’ll only say this in a whisper… she looked really old! It was one of the closeups, and I’m sure she didn’t have the proper amount spackle on her face to fight off the evil forces of HD filming. The fashion show was kind of fun! It could have been a major cheese-fest with the fun-flirty-fabulous thing, but I liked the oddness of the circus, somehow.

And I loved that – oh wait, have you watched the first hour yet? – in the airplane runway challenge, the Jays were like, um… none of y’all have any personality…? Soo, yeah. Because it’s true. I really did not love Alexandra’s attempt at “funky” during both that challenge and the runway. Angelea was a trainwreck as usual, but I do have to say I found myself a little teary at her goodbye, like even though she was a tool for the most part this season, she really has come a long way in her life, the little bunny. And I do hope she continues modeling, because she did book all those freaking go-sees. What was up with Krista practically gobbling up her jewelry win? I mean, I guess she had in mind to give duplicates to her friends at home, or something? It just painted her as unnecessarily greedy, but then again, I think that was exactly the purpose of that scene – let’s see what she does with the extras! Kind of like making sure those kids on MTV have plenty of alcohol while living in homes with no television or books or anything else to do.

Editing at panel –- totally disjointed for sure, but I would argue no more so than past seasons? Because they intentionally amp up the drama of the unknown. Surely there were more comments about Rainna and her linebacker walk, more snark about her lack of emotional depth, or something. Her lack of versatility in a worldwide market, which by the way I don’t agree with. I see her as versatile as Nicole from Cycle 6 or Kartarzyna, who is now a pretty badass model. Regardless—I think it came down that comment from both Tyra and Krista about her win being bigger than her? for her dark-dark skin. Which I can appreciate, to some extent, except that it disregards all past contestants/winners of color and pretends it’s something new. I’m just saying. It all goes back to the lack of personality overall in this entire Cycle (except for maybe the cult girl), and not having anything more interesting to say. Get a better *spiel,* girls – if you must. :)

on to the next season,

antPEN

antM,

It wasn’t necessarily a shock, but seriously I was in this weird frame of mind the whole show because ew magazine accidentally spilled the beans on the top 2? So I sat there the whole episode thinking that they were going to axe 3 girls, and knowing who they were was just bizarre. I kept waiting for the hammer. A bomb dropped at the photo shoot, or on the TV screen at the loft, or okay – maybe a tornado’s going to rip through panel and take out the other two girls? What is happening?! But no, just one, and then next week is a two-parter w/ 2 elims in the first hour. FAIL, ew magazine!

So anyway, I did love Alexandra’s photo this week (should have been the best, no?), but her personality became all suck-o, just like the rest of ‘em. Love how Jade-alea is all anti-Krista since Krista’s winning. And Krista’s okay other than her personality and the fact that she’s Teyona and as Ash pointed out, Teyona’s already won. (And I never enjoyed Teyona.) The only person left to root for is Raina-Richards. I’d rather a girl who says MY-lanta (sigh, stop) than a girl who is just horrible. Because it’s not actually Survivor. Different rules, girls, different rules. You don’t actually have anything to lose by being nice.

Absolutely saw that Nigel leer. Wow, man. Cut that out.

No one has really endeared me. Next Cycle, please.

I’m off to eat rotisserie chicken, along with early peas and new potatoes from the produce box. I loves the produce box. It’s so magical and deserves its own post.

xo,

antPEN

ANTMrevisited,

It really wasn't a shock right though so yah, you know. And the way they painted it, it's like yah ok. Sure. Of course if you didn't see it, do look out for nigel exclaiming, plus size girl you look great! And its like, righhhht, cuz it sure wasn't a 'judge' critiquing a model. It's not her fault she just oozes sex...and more of anseleeawhosit, wearing crazy things and whatever, ok. I had more to say when I watched it this am. but i've moved onto garden maintaining, grilled chicken getting, watching 'true stories' on netflix and really the outside is calling. So i'm going to pause the movie and take my book out and think really hard about getting back in the car to get some dark chocolate (soy free). I bought this yogurt? jalepeno/pepper jack cheese- which is lactose free? So that's a victory. Cuz its tasty. But I'm craving chocolate.

And I pulled myself out of almost maudlinville on wednesday and have enjoyed a more kiltered thursday and friday. But sometimes you feel so much on the brink of something that you sense that if you don't find a footing down one road you'll end up stalled by the side of the road. at 34.

But more on that later,
m.

ANTMelope,

I mean i get your critique of +sized girl but i loved the photo of her and the sheep. And I think because she has to try a bit harder is why i'm more interested to see if she can pull it off. Though yah, is she 'highfashion'... eh. Krista and DeniseRichards just have to stand there and their bizarro faces carry them where ever they want to go. Though i suppose they are all H2T. Not like that boring blonde angry chick that got voted off the time before last. The 6 gosee girl. . . i don't get. I just, she just comes off badly on tv. I don't know. I just can't be bothered to root for her. And yah I totally also wondered about the uggs. They're over used here in LA as fashion, so possibly its a cultural thing that those guys who live close the epicenter of ugg creation are completely against them, aka she might as well have been wearing her bedroom slippers. Where here, we're trying to be cute and trendy. Though my circulation will never be that bad, nor my feet that cold to even be able to wear such things. I do remember lusting after a pair in the 90's. Then after that, forget about it. I wouldve had to burn my pair due to all the faux-beach bunnies strolling down melrose blvd with them. But whatevs. But she totally should've been wearing heels? or boots? alas.

And i know people love nigel, i used to love nigel. But he's kind of an ass right? And just catching that money train like the entire rest of the panel. But I just stare at him and i just get a little creeped out for some reason at his uptightness and the nude shoots and whatever else. Lets not even talk about Tyr@s outfits. Sometimes I wish they would par the crazy back down. But its a "thing" of its own now and can't be stopped. But I agree with Ash that the sparkle or whatever is so gone. That Bcs I love the shoots themselves I sort of hangon past the crazy and the drama and go- ooo pretty picture, or uh, they're having them do what!?

I'm so glad you said that thing about msjay. I mean REALLY. shut it. talk about theee most annnnoying VO after the maybe 2nd time I heard it. And i watched the 2eps back to back. My hand began to fly to the mute button faster than those 10sec makeup challenges.

And it was a beautiful rainbow. You could see the cameraman going, yes God, yes! Thank you! And that one shot of Alasia backlit in profile against the orange glow of the setting sun? Pretty magical in itself. So despite all the facade, beauty finds a way in? Nah, nevermind. I'm out of popsicles!
m.

america’s next top mendacious,

We should dish about the show before the next episode. Not that I’ll be able to watch it before Saturday or Sunday, which is when the CW finally gets around to posting it. Sigh. Whatever, I’mnotbitter.

Krista did deserve to win, although I feel like someone ought to point out that at first glance, it looks like she’s standing on her sheep. I’m just saying. I like Krista, and would be all right with it if she won. Krista reminds me of someone, but I’m not sure who. So does Angelea…

Whom I do not love. Besides that I don’t find her very appealing as a model, she’s typically classless every time she opens her mouth. The less she says, the better, and it seems like either she’s not opening her mouth as much lately, or else the editors are toning down her image in preparation for her ultimate win. I kind of think she’s going to win. WhatEVer. Props on 6 out of 6 go-see bookings – has any model ever gotten to all the go-sees, much less booked them? It’s pretty impressive, I’ll give her that.

I like Raina better, she might be my favorite. In spite of her ca-razy eyebrows, or maybe because of them. Also, she totally looks like Denise Richards in certain angles. And while she isn’t always exempt from un-heinous behavior, she’s pretty sweet.

Alexandra is also sweet, or else simply un-heinous, or dare I say boring. But I think she should go home soon. I’m glad she got her groove back, or whatever, but all her pictures look the same. And I don’t love her modely expression, which always involves an upturned face with slightly-open mouth. The camera angle is always straight up her nose… I just don’t get it, why she’s still in the competition. And while I found it amusing that all the go-see agencies found her choose of bootwear distasteful (Uggs? ugh! but are Uggs really out of style? why do people hate them so?), I do agree that she looked rough, rougher than the other girls anyway, even Angelea, who was dealing with some unfortunate frizz issues.

That leaves Jessica, who I sometimes love and sometimes don’t love. She is in fact very commercial and frankly, most times I don’t find her that remarkable. She’s rocked a few challenges and photo shoots. She’s young, which excuses her for most of the idiotic things she does, although I’m still not sure I can give her a pass on her mortifying display of ho-i-tude with Nigel a few episodes back. Girls! Be cool with Nigel. Be cool. We’re all still embarrassed about Caridee.

Alasia being cut? I feel like it was time. She’s cute and all, and I’m sure she’ll be successful someday, when she grows up. And by that I mean: grows out of her mouthiness. But overall she was out of her league. I totally get that decision.

And then, New Zealand… I want that rainbow over water. I want to see something like that in person, someday. Sheesh. I would also love to frolic in the pastures or whatever. It’s pretty there.

Also, CW, how many times do you have to show the New Zealand commercial voice-overed by Miss J? Yes, flights for less than $800. It’s MAJOR! Wee! I get it. Now partner yourself with hulu so we can have that shit posted faster and presented with limited commercial interruption. I’m just saying.

xo,

antPEN

dear m,

We totally spied Iss-May Ay-Jay from ANTM at Fashion Week. Mel’s sister wrangled tickets to a Saturday afternoon show, so exciting; none of us had ever been to anything like it. Thumping music, cool outfits, flashing cameras and fashion moxie. Luckily, it didn’t matter what we (I) wore, what with the zillions of people and all, even though I clearly was not even remotely trendy in my rainy-day hair, Old Navy jeans, well-worn T-shirt, Doc Martens, and parka. Oh, and the happy-faced plastic bag holding my half-eaten sandwich, which is another letter entirely. I was going for too cool to care, and obviously, I was.

Generally, pictures were difficult to capture. I would have needed a more expensive camera. However, here is some of the scene.

runway

totally yucky pic of me, but Mel looks cute

literal wall of cameras to the left…creeeeepy!

Iss-May Ay-Jay 1

Iss-May Ay-Jay 2

 

models

models (they all came out looking like a beacon of light)

and more models…

discuss with me

***SPOILER ALERT: Do not read this if you haven't yet watched The Office and ANTM season finales.***


All right, so the season finale of The Office was a major, bummed out, buzz-killing disappointment. As m pointed out, the first 39 minutes were kind of fantastic, my favorite storyline in particular being Kevin as a passably "special" employee. Toby's exit was well-played, though we hope they check in with him next year in Costa Rica. His replacement offers all sorts of potential as a love interest for Michael, and for yet another personality for Michael to play off of; this chick is oddly like his mirror. I didn't really notice Andy being in the episode, and then, there he was. Stealing Jim's proposal thunder, and that's where it all went downhill. First J.Lo and I thought Jim would be fired just prior to proposing, and that would screw it up, but he brilliantly overthrew the coked-up, belligerent Ryan. They way the proposal botch did go down, however, was maybe the worst way they could have popped that happy bubble. Jim had it all set up, contributing the fireworks and such to Toby's going-away party, settling on an at-work setting for the proposal because work is where Jim and Pam have had all their "firsts." But then Andy steps up out of nowhere, taking advantage of the same perfect moment and proposing to Angela, who says yes in a sort of disgruntled way, and then is spied later "making up" with Dwight. I appreciate the revival of their storyline, think it also has lots of potential. But the Michael Scott storyline totally bummed me out as well, because really? Jan is pregnant, but by a sperm bank donor? I mean it was believable and yet almost over-the-line mean. Because as much of a tool as Michael can be, he seems like he'd actually make a pretty good father... As odd as that sounds. And it was just sort of horrible to see him crawling back to Serenity by Jan and supporting her baby treachery, simply because it's the closest he's going to get to the real thing. I kind of cannot stand Jan.

I'm sorely disappointed that Jim and Pam didn't get officially engaged, but I reserve final judgment until the fifth season premiere. The writers, brilliant as they are, can save this, should save it. Must save it. Somehow they need to turn the lost moment on its head and satisfy that huge romantic buildup for viewers. The story can't all be sunshine and roses, even in a comedy, but on some things, a payoff is non-negotiable. Jim and Pam's engagement is one of these instances. Turk and Carla over at Scrubs give me hope that they won't drag this out yet another season with all sorts of horrible tension between them, that they will just get married and live happily ever after, that the writers can step up and maintain an interesting storyline about the Married Jim & Pam... because frankly I can't take it if they break up, or even remain the same.

Dear Writers of The Office,
My Happy Jim & Pam Bubble has been burst. Please repair anon.
Sincerely Yours,
Penelope


Moving on to ANTM, Whitney was awarded the win, making her the show's first full-figured Top Model. Fatima got the boot first, thus making Kim and I dance for joy, and so Whitney and Anya battled it out. You're going to ask me if I think Whitney was chosen because she is a plus-sized model, and my answer to that is yes. Absolutely, yes. Don't get me wrong, I like Whitney, I think she had enough talent as a model to deserve the win, I think it's cool to see a plus-sized girl in there, it's great. I wasn't even bothered as much throughout the season at her alleged fakeness, because I kind of enjoyed her valley-girlish snark and felt like she was sincerely a cool person even if she needed to work on her facade. But was she a better model than Anya? No. Not even close, really. I like Whitney enough that this finale wasn't a disappointment, per se, but I felt nearly as dumbfounded as when Danielle or "Dani" was crowned over Joanie, or when Naima was declared winner instead of Kahlen. To me it just didn't feel quite "right." I feel like the judges knew they might not ever again get a chance to crown a plus-size girl, so they seized the moment before them. Whitney did deserve to be in the Final Two over Fatima and most definitely over HTM (Hot Tranny Mess) Dominique, but to win over the stunning, born-to-model Anya? Not so much. The consolation is that Whitney will make a cool Cover Girl, and Anya will certainly have a career. She's young, and it doesn't seem like she's going to throw in the towel. Unlike Kahlen, because where the hell is she? Congrats, Whitney. Can't wait till the next cycle begins.

riding the wave

Does it work:
Accupressure to induce labor??? Possibly. I just know I went into labor within 24 hours. For real.

Contractions: Definitely more intense this time. Although labor progressed more slowly.

The iPod:
Excellent for focusing during labor. For tuning out distractions, voices, one's (dear) husband and doctor discussing SPORTS. I used it off and on, with a mainly mellow mix, though during transition, I opted for higher-energy No Doubt.

Epidural:
Absolutely. Indispensible. Hurt, yes; was freaky, yes. But this anesthesiologist administered it somehow even better than I had with K.Lo, and I'm just, I don't know. Speechless. Eternally grateful.

So meaningful:
Presence of parents during labor, mom during birth.

Sheepish bragging rights:
Took just five minutes to push baby out. C r a z y.


Burst into untamable tears:
Approximately 2 1/2 days after having baby, just the same as last time. The inevitable hormonal crash. Brought on by K.Lo holding N.Lo, sitting all together on couch as family.

The next evening, when J.Lo suggested moving N.Lo into guest bedroom, instead of the Little Ones sharing a room. (Due to K.Lo being terribly difficult to put to bed.) After all the planning, all the work... before they're even really sharing the room... and the furniture we'd have to get rid of... and all the shuffling around. Really, it is a bridge we will cross if and when we come to it. But even in theory, I still can't discuss it without becoming completely, irrationally upset.

And today, while holding Baby N.Lo in quiet moment by self, marveling at how little, how perfect. Amazing.

Remembering:
In the week after pregnancy, it's best not to actively think too much. The thoughts will come anyway, and many will pack quite an emotional punch. Don't fight it, don't get too caught up in it, just ride the wave, as this too shall pass.

What it's like to hold, and care for, and simply witness a newborn, which is to say, wow.

Like riding a bike:
Nursing, multi-tasking while nursing, the art of half-sleeping while nursing. The learning curve has gone way up the second time around. While your new baby's personality and feeding style is different, the whole ordeal is a lot less mysterious, and you've got skills. Here, the universe throws you a bone.

All new:
Changing a boy's diaper. Think I've got it down.

Juggling a toddler's needs with a tiny baby's needs, with own needs. Still figuring this one out, suspect I will be for some time. And once I think I have the answer, probably all circumstances will change, requiring yet another path.

Out the window:
Long-term personal goals, i.e. weight loss, fitness, everyone sleeping peacefully through the night in his or her respective bed. Not even worrying about it right now.

Curiosities:
Why, after having a baby, does one's belly button migrate 2 inches north. And does this problem ever solve itself? Became pregnant again too quickly the last time around to find out.


And in other news...
Can I possibly love more, I don't know:
Heather on ANTM. Sweet, intriguing, the best results from photo shoots. Really hope she wins.

Pretention:
Recently joined ranks of Facebook after learning it is not as ghetto as MySpace, and one day looked up high school classmates. This one guy, who graduated a year early and incidentally beat me out by one spot in class ranking, the smug little turd, has no less than three Facebook profiles. The only difference I see are his networks, and possibly the general feel of his photos. One shows him in a suit, smiling smarmily. Another, playing cello in a field. The third, he's all "weekend out with my hot blonde girlfriend." Each network, of course, is something along the lines of "Princeton Alum," or "Cornell Alum" (Andy on The Office, anyone?). Basically, it's a big WTF and confirmation that some things never change--because it's all about status, baby.

TV:
I have dropped (sadly, I know) Pushing Daisies from the lineup. It's not that I don't enjoy it and think it's immensely clever. But I take too long to watch it, and half the time either don't pay attention or fall asleep. Maybe it's just not for me right now. Maybe a DVD Netflix marathon, someday.

mystery: solved!

Finally, we know why Ebony is so strangely reticent at panel--the girl who was so potentially bitchy during the first episode? Lost all her fire shortly thereafter? Since Tyra, Twiggy, Miss J and company have hounded her for nearly three weeks now, saying Smile, girl!, Ebony finally blurted out last night: I think my gums are too big. Well, geez! Is that all? You'd think she could have just explained that before.

I think it's kind of nice that she's simply self-conscious, rather than being quietly snotty, flat in personality, or having no reason at all. How she refrained so long from smiling at Nigel, though, that has to require some stamina.

Anyway, girl, kick-ass photo shoot on the rooftop. I still think you're pretty interesting, and hope you go far.

final answers

on TV

keeping, love: Aliens in America, Reaper, Pushing Daisies, Life

precarious: Private Practice, Kid Nation

NO: Bionic Woman, Big Bang Theory


on ANTM

still my favorite: Heather!!!

make-over "do": bald, and somehow less obnoxious now Bianca

make-over "don't": long-haired, platinum blond Jenah, who now looks like the toothy, "non-edgy" love child of Melrose and Caridee

although: Jenah's picture still kicked ass.

taken down a few much-needed notches: Victoria! what was her verbal vendetta against Twiggy all about?

omg, horrible: Saleisha's Beatle hair

Nigel: increasingly hot.


Baby N.Lo
two weeks from due date

zero station

contractions: all the freaking time

no more progress expected till true, REAL labor

BUT, deadline: no more than 2 weeks past due date

so: within a month


K.Lo
mood: erratic

lip: fat, from tripping the other day and biting her lip

nose: scuffed all over after tragic fall this morning down 2 concrete stairs

mommy: BAD.


weather

cooler!

untimely heat wave: over!

windows: open!!!

me

a tiny bit more sane.

unhappy-camper models & unmodel-like campers

ANTM
still rooting for: Heather!

bored with: Bianca vs. Saleisha

confused by: Ebony's reticence

unsure of: Victoria's blank stare + Ivy background?

yet still sort of loved: Victoria's picture

also watching: Ambreal, Jenah

can't even remember: who got sent home?

oh, right: it was that one girl with the weird ears

can't wait for: makeovers and meltdowns, oh my!


SURVIVOR
still rooting for: James!

BEST quote of the night: "It’s frustrating with this team because they have a slow learning curve. I’m the only one that actually went and read a survival handbook… Four hours of Barnes and Noble, I feel like Crocodile Dundee out here!" (James)

apparently an idiot: Leslie, thinking that a) the other tribe is The Get-Along Gang b) Todd is a trustworthy player?? c) the Hidden Immunity Idol is super-hard to find

TERRIBLE shelter construction: Zhan Hu tribe

totally skeezed out by: Jean-Robert the Undesired Cuddler, Denise the Mullet at Reward Challenge, Right Said Dave's same challenge nakedness--totally lacks Richard Hatch's charisma/license/strategic aims

16 pounds together: Courtney and Todd

more worthless than S:Africa's Brandon at challenges: Courtney

still kind of rooting for because at least he's interesting and seems to have a brain: Todd

not sad to see go: Leslie

can't believe she didn't get a single vote: the chihuahua

trip part 10: all the wiser

1. As much as you've trained yourself to roll with the punches, there are still some moments you cannot get back, the significance of which will not really diminish with distance and over time, and the feeling of regret even where you had so little control.

2. Watching your little toddler throw up is just plain pitiful. They have no idea what's happening, all they seem to know is that it's weird and it hurts.

3. Losing the contents of one's stomach for a 36-hour timespan strains muscles you don't even think of, but you feel them all the next day. Losing the contents of one's stomach for a 36-hour timespan when 8 months pregnant sets off a lovely chain of B-H contractions, adding sheer insult to injury, and planting in your brain a tiny sense of alarm that the baby might just fall out onto to the floor 7 weeks early and hundreds of miles from home, on top of everything else.

4. Being sick is not fun, but being sick while away from home, with a sick baby and a sick husband? Triply not fun.

5. Whining on a blog makes you feel better sometimes.

6. The things you worry about and what actually happens rarely match up.

7. Zoning out on TV, i.e. an ANTM Cycle 6 marathon, forever proves to be the best medicine when not feeling well.

8. Pushing oneself out the door when not feeling completely up to par can be entirely worth it.

9. Bleaching commonly used surfaces, laundering every cloth item worn/touched/looked at while ill, and changing all the bed sheets are instrumental to the recovery process. As is plotting, if only in a half-serious manner, revenge.

10. Even in the midst of complete and total suckitude, I can usually find a few sparkling moments.

And... that is all.

почему (why)

I've been enjoying Cycle 8 of ANTM, as usual, because clearly I have a weakness for vapid, girly TV. Especially this spring: PCD, ANTM, The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman? I should be embarassed. (And yet, no. No I am not.) So far, I haven't really found a favorite on ANTM, but last night an unlikely model popped to the forefront of my Pick List: Natasha. Natasha?! How odd. Even odder, I kind of like Renee as well. Was it the mom thing? I found myself crying a thousand rivers when a) Renee and Dionne were reunited with their babies, and b) Natasha had a meltdown over not being able to see hers. Luckily, I can play the pregnancy hormone card here, as otherwise I would feel horribly ashamed at my copious weeping.

I don't know if it was the mom thing, and I have to say, even though Renee is growing on me more and more, like a fine bathtub mildew, I do not fully buy her transformation into Nice Girl. Frankly, I don't care whether she's that nice or not; I do appreciate realness. Then there's Natasha, who from the beginning has downright baffled me. Is she a genius, and there's just a language/culture barrier? Dumber than a box of rocks? Why was the concept of "teacher's pet" so difficult to grasp in that one photo shoot? What about the Russian mail-order bride thing. And she's a parent? And a college student? Her husband's over 40, wha? And what is up with that hair, like why's it so big. And the vapid/perky persona she presents at panel, taking every criticism and turning it into a sunshiney compliment. What is the deal. Natasha, you are an enigma.

But she's getting so much better at modeling, is the thing. The bicycle-pumped hair has deflated into a glossy little ponytail, she walks with authoritai. And the photos are getting smart. Whereas people like Jaslene, who started out so fierce, are becoming more vapid, unoriginal, and ho-hum as the weeks go on. Then there's Jael, whose very presence on ANTM befuddles me. Yeah, there were some all right pics in there. But on the whole, I just don't see "model," at all. And every time she speaks all I hear is gruff, jumbly drivel falling out of her mouth. It's easier to decipher Natasha's dialect.

My predictions for top 2 are Brittany (whom I also love, but am disappointed re: the weave, like why couldn't they have done something more exciting after removing the dead squirrel?) and, I'm just going to put it out there, Natasha. Third from the top may be Renee. Or maybe it won't be Natasha, and I'm temporarily delusional/optimistic. Maybe Dionne will get her in-person appearance together and rock out. Maybe Jael will learn to talk. So many questions, so much time enjoyed--um, I mean wasted, in seeing it all unfold.



P.S. to Tyra: Quit using the "persona" names, i.e. Brown, Nata, Nene. They're dumb, and everyone else seems to have forgotten them.

they make me happy, 2

Although grainy, here is a pic of K.Lo checking out The Office Valentines box. If you look closely, you may be able to make out Michael Scott holding a big red heart.

Also, why was I at Target again so early in the morning, and so soon after my last trip? Because clearly I have a problem, yes. But also because hello, the new SHINS CD, Wincing the Night Away, is out! And available for purchase this week at Target for $9.98. It's playing right now on my little stereo, and yes it's a good one.

Did anyone know, by the way, that Elyse from ANTM Cycle 1 dates Marty from The Shins? Huh.