почему (why)

I've been enjoying Cycle 8 of ANTM, as usual, because clearly I have a weakness for vapid, girly TV. Especially this spring: PCD, ANTM, The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman? I should be embarassed. (And yet, no. No I am not.) So far, I haven't really found a favorite on ANTM, but last night an unlikely model popped to the forefront of my Pick List: Natasha. Natasha?! How odd. Even odder, I kind of like Renee as well. Was it the mom thing? I found myself crying a thousand rivers when a) Renee and Dionne were reunited with their babies, and b) Natasha had a meltdown over not being able to see hers. Luckily, I can play the pregnancy hormone card here, as otherwise I would feel horribly ashamed at my copious weeping.

I don't know if it was the mom thing, and I have to say, even though Renee is growing on me more and more, like a fine bathtub mildew, I do not fully buy her transformation into Nice Girl. Frankly, I don't care whether she's that nice or not; I do appreciate realness. Then there's Natasha, who from the beginning has downright baffled me. Is she a genius, and there's just a language/culture barrier? Dumber than a box of rocks? Why was the concept of "teacher's pet" so difficult to grasp in that one photo shoot? What about the Russian mail-order bride thing. And she's a parent? And a college student? Her husband's over 40, wha? And what is up with that hair, like why's it so big. And the vapid/perky persona she presents at panel, taking every criticism and turning it into a sunshiney compliment. What is the deal. Natasha, you are an enigma.

But she's getting so much better at modeling, is the thing. The bicycle-pumped hair has deflated into a glossy little ponytail, she walks with authoritai. And the photos are getting smart. Whereas people like Jaslene, who started out so fierce, are becoming more vapid, unoriginal, and ho-hum as the weeks go on. Then there's Jael, whose very presence on ANTM befuddles me. Yeah, there were some all right pics in there. But on the whole, I just don't see "model," at all. And every time she speaks all I hear is gruff, jumbly drivel falling out of her mouth. It's easier to decipher Natasha's dialect.

My predictions for top 2 are Brittany (whom I also love, but am disappointed re: the weave, like why couldn't they have done something more exciting after removing the dead squirrel?) and, I'm just going to put it out there, Natasha. Third from the top may be Renee. Or maybe it won't be Natasha, and I'm temporarily delusional/optimistic. Maybe Dionne will get her in-person appearance together and rock out. Maybe Jael will learn to talk. So many questions, so much time enjoyed--um, I mean wasted, in seeing it all unfold.



P.S. to Tyra: Quit using the "persona" names, i.e. Brown, Nata, Nene. They're dumb, and everyone else seems to have forgotten them.