Lessons Learned from Watching Grey’s Anatomy

***SPOILER ALERT. DON’T READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN’T CAUGHT UP WITH GREY’S.***

Last night, I completely caught up on all February episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. I feel good. And I take away the following:

1. I may have Addison’s haircut.

2. Taye Diggs is hot.

3. Despite my love for Addison, Addison’s hair, and Taye Diggs, I still cannot watch Private Practice. Approximately 1 minute and 23 seconds in, I deleted BOTH “crossover event” episodes. I will never know your fate, Guy From Melrose Place with the Worms in Your Brain, alas. I don’t feel that sad about it.

4. I mainly blame Judging Amy, for why I can’t watch Private Practice. Something about her character. Some people can’t stand Meredith and/or Izzie on Grey’s for their neurotic whininess. I don’t mind them. But JA, I mind.

5. I really want to know what’s wrong with Izzie. I had read a brain aneurysm, but does it all add up?

6. I have almost forgiven the wayward Denny plot. Forgiven, but not forgotten.

7. Derek and McSteamy brawling it out like boys on the walkway? Stupid. Give me a break.

8. I’m still not over the pregnant lady dying. I guess Derek isn’t, either.

9. When is he going to propose, already? I guess now isn’t a good time to ask.

10. I love Cristine and McKidd together, but they’re just… so sad. Gloomy! Do they ever smile, much less without the weight of the world reflected in their eyes?

11. Calliope and the Ped Surgeon, okay. Mildly amusing. Random? Moving on.

12. The Dragon Lady Surgeon plotline was rushed. Decent, but rushed.

13. Mainly, I feel like I’m back on board with GA.

14. It is the last show on the downstairs (girly) DVR that I’m really attached to. I will program it in upstairs, and then:

15. I’m done. Bye bye, Gossip Girl. Bye  bye, Privileged. Back to Time Warner Cable you go. Perhaps a future post to explain my breakup with the downstairs (girly) DVR, and these two shows.

discuss with me

***SPOILER ALERT: Do not read this if you haven't yet watched The Office and ANTM season finales.***


All right, so the season finale of The Office was a major, bummed out, buzz-killing disappointment. As m pointed out, the first 39 minutes were kind of fantastic, my favorite storyline in particular being Kevin as a passably "special" employee. Toby's exit was well-played, though we hope they check in with him next year in Costa Rica. His replacement offers all sorts of potential as a love interest for Michael, and for yet another personality for Michael to play off of; this chick is oddly like his mirror. I didn't really notice Andy being in the episode, and then, there he was. Stealing Jim's proposal thunder, and that's where it all went downhill. First J.Lo and I thought Jim would be fired just prior to proposing, and that would screw it up, but he brilliantly overthrew the coked-up, belligerent Ryan. They way the proposal botch did go down, however, was maybe the worst way they could have popped that happy bubble. Jim had it all set up, contributing the fireworks and such to Toby's going-away party, settling on an at-work setting for the proposal because work is where Jim and Pam have had all their "firsts." But then Andy steps up out of nowhere, taking advantage of the same perfect moment and proposing to Angela, who says yes in a sort of disgruntled way, and then is spied later "making up" with Dwight. I appreciate the revival of their storyline, think it also has lots of potential. But the Michael Scott storyline totally bummed me out as well, because really? Jan is pregnant, but by a sperm bank donor? I mean it was believable and yet almost over-the-line mean. Because as much of a tool as Michael can be, he seems like he'd actually make a pretty good father... As odd as that sounds. And it was just sort of horrible to see him crawling back to Serenity by Jan and supporting her baby treachery, simply because it's the closest he's going to get to the real thing. I kind of cannot stand Jan.

I'm sorely disappointed that Jim and Pam didn't get officially engaged, but I reserve final judgment until the fifth season premiere. The writers, brilliant as they are, can save this, should save it. Must save it. Somehow they need to turn the lost moment on its head and satisfy that huge romantic buildup for viewers. The story can't all be sunshine and roses, even in a comedy, but on some things, a payoff is non-negotiable. Jim and Pam's engagement is one of these instances. Turk and Carla over at Scrubs give me hope that they won't drag this out yet another season with all sorts of horrible tension between them, that they will just get married and live happily ever after, that the writers can step up and maintain an interesting storyline about the Married Jim & Pam... because frankly I can't take it if they break up, or even remain the same.

Dear Writers of The Office,
My Happy Jim & Pam Bubble has been burst. Please repair anon.
Sincerely Yours,
Penelope


Moving on to ANTM, Whitney was awarded the win, making her the show's first full-figured Top Model. Fatima got the boot first, thus making Kim and I dance for joy, and so Whitney and Anya battled it out. You're going to ask me if I think Whitney was chosen because she is a plus-sized model, and my answer to that is yes. Absolutely, yes. Don't get me wrong, I like Whitney, I think she had enough talent as a model to deserve the win, I think it's cool to see a plus-sized girl in there, it's great. I wasn't even bothered as much throughout the season at her alleged fakeness, because I kind of enjoyed her valley-girlish snark and felt like she was sincerely a cool person even if she needed to work on her facade. But was she a better model than Anya? No. Not even close, really. I like Whitney enough that this finale wasn't a disappointment, per se, but I felt nearly as dumbfounded as when Danielle or "Dani" was crowned over Joanie, or when Naima was declared winner instead of Kahlen. To me it just didn't feel quite "right." I feel like the judges knew they might not ever again get a chance to crown a plus-size girl, so they seized the moment before them. Whitney did deserve to be in the Final Two over Fatima and most definitely over HTM (Hot Tranny Mess) Dominique, but to win over the stunning, born-to-model Anya? Not so much. The consolation is that Whitney will make a cool Cover Girl, and Anya will certainly have a career. She's young, and it doesn't seem like she's going to throw in the towel. Unlike Kahlen, because where the hell is she? Congrats, Whitney. Can't wait till the next cycle begins.

reality check

The latest in Reality TV, brought to you by penelope.

*SURVIVOR: This past Thursday night, Ozzlet's head officially became too big for his small stature, and he was rightly bamboozled by his tribe. He had the Hidden Immunity Idol in his backpack, and then in true James fashion, didn't play it. The newly formed faction of Cirie, Parvati, Alexis, Natalie, and Jason aimed to either level the playing field by putting the H.I.I. out of commission, or true bonus, send Ozzy packing, and the fool granted their big wish. Eliza's jaw nearly fell in fire, and Ozzy was pissed. At himself, and at the alliance member, note the singular, who betrayed him. And that therein is the beauty of Cirie's strategy. Parvati will totally take the fall, and if Cirie is lucky and the others continue to dumbly underestimate her, they'll keep her in the game. What no one seems to realize yet is that Cirie, while not the strongest physical contender, is the mastermind, pretty much orchestrating each of these vote-offs, and yet appearing to fly under the radar, just shuffling along with the crowd. She's brills, and my number one pick to win the mil.

*ANTM: Say what? I cannot believe they sent Stacy-Ann home, and kept Fatima! After the chickie not only didn't have her travel papers, but completely missed out on the photo shoot. I totally thought S.A. had more potential, Fatima's personality just seems a little flat to me. But whatevs, the ladies are off to Italy, and I predict Fatima will go home soon enough. Then Lauren. Then HOPEFULLY Dominique, because I totally cringe every time she opens her mouth to speak, not to mention the show's not called America's Next Top Drag Queen. So that leaves Whitney, Anya, and Katarzyna as the Final 3. That's my prediction and I'm sticking to it.

*TOP CHEF: And again, say what? They eliminated Ryan?! Nikki so needs to go home. And even Mark seemed like he effed up way more than Ryan, whose main faux pas was that he went too big for the tailgate challenge. Granted, his five-course meal was a little ridiculous for the challenge's perameters, but it seemed like Nikki's food wasn't even that great, much less the fact that she had very little to even present to the judges. She'll go home soon, though, I predict. I see Richard, Antonia, Dale, and Stephanie at the top, though Jennifer is gaining ground. Antonia and Richard display the added advantage of knowing the game, apparently having studied up on previous seasons, like every player should have. They've been latching onto the catchphrases from each challenge and catering to those aims, generally with much success.

true to form

But mendacious, I'm so proud of you for using the caps. It will help us in the long-run, and save us from any capitalization-related tantrums.

Okay, so another one of our findings while on hiatus is that I, Penelope, tend to shy away from Serious Life Matters and blog about TV instead. I hide behind reality TV in the face of what's really happening. I know. It's shocking. In fact, I have even "responded" to some of mendacious's more serious posts with TV posts, maybe to lighten the mood, or to passive-aggressively protest the discussion of real life issues?

On the other hand, mixing fluffy pop culture items in with more serious tidbits is (I think) part of what makes our blog interesting and fun. So I don't plan on stopping with the Survivor assessments, the ANTM recaps, the Penelope Must Lists. We certainly don't want to be All Maudlin, All the Time, now do we?

Case in point: I found out last week that my husband, J.Lo, has cataracts in his right eye, probably soon to be followed by the left eye. Cataracts! Surgery and everything. In the past, I might have totally foregone a thoughtful post on the matter, completely leaving Blogdom in the dark and saving nothing at all for posterity. I probably would just blogged about the ridiculous and yet highly entertaining episode of Celebrity Apprentice that we watched over the weekend. But now, all the wiser to my defense mechanisms and seeing the error of my ways, I will blog about BOTH. Soon. Give me a break, I've got two very high-maintenance children to attend to at the moment.

here and there

The little things: you can change your colors now on Yahoo! beta mail! Up next: will you show my avatar?

New vocab for Bug: "sucker." As in, "Your mommy is a sucker for giving you yet another popsicle this afternoon."

Love just for the title, but on the content, can't decide: "America's Most Smartest Model."

Although I did enjoy: that they right away kicked off "Kept Man's" Slavko and also that girl who everyone said was orange.

And: I love Ben Stein.

Snob: I won't read this stupid book I bought at Spring's Library Book Sale because I'm afraid it will taint my writing. If I keep writing. If I can stop being distracted by contractions and keep writing.

Anyway, the book: It's called Blessed are the Cheesemakers, and no offense Sarah-Kate Lynch, but that's a stupid title. I should have known better. Vapidly enjoyable chick-lit is one thing, but after 10 pages, I'm out. I hate some of the characters already and I think you're being too coy, stylistically. It's to the garage sale pile with you.

Weather: too effing hot for October.

Seriously?: I cannot get comfortable. Not for sleeping, not for just sitting around on the couch. Certainly not for walking or standing. I don't want to share anymore, it (the body) is mine.

unhappy-camper models & unmodel-like campers

ANTM
still rooting for: Heather!

bored with: Bianca vs. Saleisha

confused by: Ebony's reticence

unsure of: Victoria's blank stare + Ivy background?

yet still sort of loved: Victoria's picture

also watching: Ambreal, Jenah

can't even remember: who got sent home?

oh, right: it was that one girl with the weird ears

can't wait for: makeovers and meltdowns, oh my!


SURVIVOR
still rooting for: James!

BEST quote of the night: "It’s frustrating with this team because they have a slow learning curve. I’m the only one that actually went and read a survival handbook… Four hours of Barnes and Noble, I feel like Crocodile Dundee out here!" (James)

apparently an idiot: Leslie, thinking that a) the other tribe is The Get-Along Gang b) Todd is a trustworthy player?? c) the Hidden Immunity Idol is super-hard to find

TERRIBLE shelter construction: Zhan Hu tribe

totally skeezed out by: Jean-Robert the Undesired Cuddler, Denise the Mullet at Reward Challenge, Right Said Dave's same challenge nakedness--totally lacks Richard Hatch's charisma/license/strategic aims

16 pounds together: Courtney and Todd

more worthless than S:Africa's Brandon at challenges: Courtney

still kind of rooting for because at least he's interesting and seems to have a brain: Todd

not sad to see go: Leslie

can't believe she didn't get a single vote: the chihuahua

as they say in show biz,

One day you are een, and the next, you are OUT.

After the first full week of Fall TV premieres, here's what I've got:

IN:
Reaper
Life
Private Practice

May leave the runway for a second chance:
Bionic Woman
Kid Nation
Chuck (hanging by a thread)
Big Bang Theory (ditto)

OUT:
Gossip Girl (for now, may rent season in future)
Big Shots (yawn)
Journeyman

Parting note to Journeyman: your vision is ambitious, but in the end too complicated and lacking focus, cohesion, a clear set of Universe Rules. Do you time travel for personal love, or the greater good of select humankind? You have potential, but ultimately seem like you just don't know who you are or what you want--not enough to play in the Big Leagues just yet, anyway. In short, The Time Traveler's Wife, you are not.

***
Upcoming Talent for Screening Process, Week 2:
Aliens in America (will temporarily forgo Big Bang Theory)
Caveman (yikes)
Pushing Daisies (will temporarily forgo Kid Nation)
Dirty Sexy Money (love for Peter Krause wins out)
Brothers & Sisters (will pen overcome her love-lack for Calista Flockhart and hop on board for Season 2?)


***
Notes to old favs:
to The Office new plotlines: Eeeeeee!

to the Survivor cast: Hope you brought bug spray, hope you're happy keeping Right Said Dave around another week.

to Lexie Grey: Shut up? Except for when you yelled at George, that was great.

to Alex "Guido" Karev: Fix that hair before I come through the screen and muss it up.

to Private Practice writers: Addison does not need to dance around naked in order for women to see her as a fun, hip, potential gal pal we can all relate to. Especially not twice.

to Kid Nation's Taylor: Beauty Queens, in addition to not washing dishes and cooking the cold even when it's their JOB, can also seem like unendearing little a-holes.

to Heroes' Peter/Milo/Jess/Rocky Balboa's grown-up son: Don't be evil! Or at least, just don't die!

it's not me, it's totally them!

Mid-week assessment re: Fall TV

So far my DVRroll barely has a chunk taken out of it as it it stacked like, 20 shows deep. Fall TV is hard, people. Your hopes are all high, there's so many new and enticing options, but you know you must be discriminating. You also don't want to be too hasty and chuck something good before it can hit its stride.

Speaking of "chuck," I really want to like the show Chuck. We did watch this one the other night, though Heroes and Journeyman still sit sadly untouched. I found myself getting very antsy during Chuck, and if and only if Journeyman really sucks are we going to give it a second go. I feel like the writing on Chuck is super-smart and the story has a lot of potential. But all the CIA stuff, which is, um, pretty key to that story? Eh. I don't know. I guess I would just rather stay with Chuck at his $11 an hour job and watch him fumble his way through relationships, banter around with his friends and family, etc. I feel like maybe this show is trying very hard to appeal to two different audiences and bring them together for a big viewership, but the end result may be that it only half-hooks each of those audiences, and everyone will be too bored to stick around.

I am also on the fence about Big Bang Theory and Gossip Girl. Big Bang falls right between How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men, both of which we do watch, but the magic of DVR means that we don't have to suffer through the sandwich filling if we don't want to. We could just eat the bread. I don't know if I want to eat just the bread, though; maybe BBT will be as tasty as a Fluffernutter and I have to give it more of a chance. Sitcom pilots especially can be slow... this one was definitely slow. But it did have some great lines, and sticking around could prove worth it. Although, looking back at last season, The Class started about just as slow and got better--but then right as we really got hooked, it was cancelled. And that is the worst possible scenario for your investment.

Gossip Girl is maybe being too hyped up and maybe from that I am expecting too much? Also, I admit I was only half paying attention yesterday afternoon when I had it on, which could be the problem. On the other hand, nothing on the show particularly wrested my attention away from playing on the Internet, sooo... I don't know. I think I'm axing it for now, unless and until I hear that it's a train worth hopping on board.

So I was beginning to think it was just me. I'm into Kid Nation enough to keep going, but all the other hopefuls so far have bombed. Maybe I'm just being a snob about these new shows because I already have my favorites and am rewriting history for when I first viewed their pilots, thinking that I was immediately and irrevocably hooked. It's just not true--The Office, my current absolute favorite show on TV, took me at least 3 episodes to really get into before I could get past the uncomfortable comedy of Michael Scott. And I'm so glad I did wait it out because the show is absolutely brilliant on several levels.

I still might be a snob. But, I am 15 minutes into Reaper, and I already know this one's a keeper. (Okay, I did not mean to make a rhyme there. Sorry.) It's funny, it's smart, it's got an interesting storyline, and it's fun. Directed by Kevin Smith, the show is about a 21-year-old guy in retail whose soul has been sold to the devil by his parents, but he doesn't know it yet. Fantastic. I'm going to finish watching, pronto.

Here's to the remaining hopefuls--may they, too, be worth it.

bawk ba gawk?

Last night on the first episode of Survivor: China, a man named Chicken was voted out. It makes me a little sad, because how could a man named Chicken not be a promising character. On the other hand, Dear Chicken, and this goes for some of your castmates as well: What were you thinking?!

Apparently many of this season's contestants, no matter where they hail from, live in a cardboard box. Have they never watched the show before, really? At the very least, did they not realize they were signing up for a 39-day camping trip? I don't care what the producers told me, if I were on my way to film a season of Survivor, I would not be wearing any of the following clothing items:
a dress
a skirt
high heels
dress shoes of any kind, really
a suit jacket
fishnet stockings
fashion combat boots
an impractical bra
jeans

Because you know, based on many past seasons, that there is a good chance they're not going to let you take your gear, and you'll be stuck for however long you're on that island with just the clothes on your back. Interestingly, maybe even suspiciously, China is no Panama in that the contestants don't look all too drab wearing their everyday clothing, particularly in the underwear department. But still. Fishnets? Really?!

Beyond clothes, there just seems to be some ridiculous strategizing, or lack thereof, among this cast. Chicken, I'm sorry, was just dumb in essentially throwing a 3-day-long temper tantrum when no one would listen initially to his advice. Refusing thereafter to give any opinion on any subject, even when pressed: dumb. Drawing too much attention. Annoying everyone. Pasting a ginormous target on your back, making the tribe's decision at the first vote-off EASY.

Although, it wasn't that easy for Zhan Hu, considering that Peih-Gee chose after the tribe's immunity challenge loss to a) cry about it and b) crank up the Whiny-Bossy Meter to an intolerable notch. Oh, P-G, are you that naive? Yes, your tribe is clearly the Slacker Tribe, in a state of shambles, between the lack of shelter and the overall crap work ethic. I understand you're starving, you're drenched, you're beyond frustrated. But focus: Survivor. You made it on the show, let's step up the game, dear. Dave the Former Model/Giant Tool already stepped up as leader, let him. Don't attract more attention than necessary to the grating timbre of your discontented voice. Otherwise, lady, you'll be throwing back bellinis poolside with Chicken before too long at the Tribe Has Spoken Hotel.

Other apparent Survivor Idiots? The aforementioned Former Model Dave, for the sole reason of listing Former Model as his occupation, rather than Bartender, which is what he really is, currently. This one oozes I'm Too Sexy Smarm, and shall henceforth be known on this blog as Right Said Dave. Then there's Courtney, who is going to faint dead away by Day 7 if she doesn't eat something substantial, and would do well to tuck her feelings away under that buff before her excessive eye-rolling and snobby snark re: the non-city folk gets her voted off. And ah, Leslie. The Christian Radio Talk Show Host. Between you and Trish on Real World: Sydney, crying tragically each time your "morals" are called into question? Uggggh. Puh-lease. Don't even get me started on Trish, but Leslie, do you not realize Jeff was practically goading someone, anyone, to respond just as you did to the Buddhist welcome ceremony? To walk out, to refuse to participate, to cite Jesus' lack of approval? It was not a worship ceremony. In fact, it was, seemingly, a super-cool moment that maybe you should have embraced because you'll never do anything like it ever again. But, whatever. You're not cool, and I'm not rooting for you.

I am, so far, rooting for my fellow introvert, James the Gravedigging Superhero. I'm also at least interested in the future antics of Tiny Todd and Poker-Playing Jean-Robert. Don't know how I feel about them just yet, but I think they will at least be good entertainment.

This Survivor has returned to the show's roots a bit, with just the 16 players, no divisions based on ethnicity, gender, age, or privilege. No more Exile Island, thank heavens, no more Hidden Immunity Idols. According to EW, Jeffy himself likes this season more than Fiji, which is promising. And also, the crew stayed on in China to film next season, All-Stars 2, which is kind of exciting.

Finally, one parting note. Denise, you seem sweet enough, and I'm not even going to go there... Just, it shouldn't be allowed. Not in 2007, just... no.

To the potential zaniness of Survivor 15: Cheers!

tv: heating up

First, may I begin with a love letter to Netflix.

Dear Netflix,

Thank you for making an unprecedented clerical error yesterday in thinking that I have already returned Weeds: Season 2, Disc 1. In actuality, the disc was still in our DVD player, watched, yes, but not at your return facility. However, your mistake means that we will receive Disc 2 all the more quickly, which is super, because Season 2 is really fantastic. I especially enjoy Conrad.

P.S. I did mail in Disc 1 yesterday, so no one should get in too much trouble.

xo,
pen


Second, while it's not yet the Fall 2007 Primetime Season (but soon!), some better shows are returning to the airwaves, upgrading TV from its former Snoozefest status. Now it's not just Top Chef, Last Comic, Big Love, and Flight of the Conchords. May I recommend:

The Real World, Sydney: This season there's a girl named Parisa who appears (so far) to have a few IQ points... I know, it's astonishing. While KellyAnne is smoking hot, she's whiny and high maintenance, and I am totally rooting for Parisa in the house Bitch Battles. I just hope she doesn't get sick of the shallow scene before her and comes back for challenges.

The Hills: After last season ended, I was a little turned off in reading about Heidi's latest adventures in pop singing and boobage increase. Lame. I know, the whole show is really kind of lame, but I can't help myself. I love Whitney. I kind of love Audrina, too. And although Spencer the Giovanni Ribisi Knockoff is such a Pratt I want to come through the screen and jam both thumbs into his eye sockets, his proposal wasn't too shabby... hell, it's so not going to last. Nor will Lauren and Jason--ugh, are you kidding me?? Are they really going to get back together? Sigh. Lo, talk some sense into her.

***
All right, this short list is pretty horrible, but alas. It's something. The Fall Season quickly approaches, and if we're lucky, more shows will prove themselves worthy, make the TV week a little more fun and interesting. Tim Gunn, I'm counting on you!

love a good episode

Last night's episode of The Office was so exciting for me, I could barely stand it. It contained references to:

1. Harry Potter! Dwight's Beach Day Tribe was Gryffindor, and in response, Jim's team was Voldemort. Loved the way they taunted Dwight by chanting "Vol-de-mort," because he is, after all, "He Who Must Not be Named."

2. Survivor! Michael divided the workers into four tribes, and threw in random, totally out-of-context references to Tribal Council throughout the competition. It was fantastic.

3. Amanda Bynes. Kelly, in all her vapidity, referenced Amanda Bynes as a comedian (just like Bob Hope?). Then Michael said very seriously, "I love that movie, 'What a Girl Wants.'"

4. Willy Wonka. A few months ago, Andy confessionalled that the 5 Stamford branch newcomers were being picked off at the Scranton branch just like in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." I about lost it when he plopped into the water wearing his Sumo outfit and floated away, a la Augustus Gloop.

Then, to make it all even more worth it, Pam, jacked up on adrenaline after her coal walk, was brazenly honest to Jim about her feelings. She said everything she should have re: the wedding, Roy, their friendship, their relationship now. It was stunning. I cannot wait for next week's ep--except then it will be over for the summer. I predict Karen will get the NYC job and leave (effectively making her Charlie Bucket, winner of the grand prize, work-wise), and Jim, probably in a cliffhanger, will approach Pam so they can then live happily every after. Happy Vapid Kelly Sigh.

currently

Today's smooth move: opening the front door for K.Lo and I, overseeing her step down onto the porch with a pitcher of water in my hand, watching her tumble forward in a sort of somersault, and then in an effort to save her, dumping water all over her head. Sorry, Bug.

Tomorrow: Road Trip 3, hopefully the last for a little while. It's not that I mind traveling, I don't. When I actually reach my destination and can settle in for a day or two or three, I tend to have a great time. It's just the prep that goes into it, like for days before and after, I feel like I'm sort of on pause until the trip is over and everything's cleaned up from it. I stop reading, blogging, emailing, etc. It's like Travel Purgatory.

So, next week: I'm just going to Stay Home and Be. I'd like to clean several rooms, and sort through the mountains of pictures I just ordered. I hadn't ordered any pics since September, the sheer volume of this shipment is frightening. And I'm planning new nursery colors, and trying to decide whether my current consensus is too busy. But it's a kid's room--lots of color and action, within reason, is a good thing, no? I think it will work. Also, Bug should be getting a new bed soon. It's the greatest bed on earth, I feel. A reversible bunk bed where the bottom mattress actually rests on the floor, so it's like a little cave to play in during the day. And then if you don't want to use it as a bunk bed anymore, you can flip it over and it's a single twin bed. Fantastico!

Secret I'll take to the grave: shipping & handling charges from IKEA. I won't even tell J.Lo. It's... shocking. Literally, when the rep read me the amount over the phone, I stopped breathing for a moment.

But, moving on: didn't Dionne totally deserve to go home on ANTM? She's been lagging for weeks, but flying under the radar. Natasha had a bad, bad day, and I wish she could have stepped it up through her sickness. But it was her first "second chance." Jaslene only has one look that's fierce, and so I want her to go home, leaving Natasha and NeNe (omg, stop it with the "personas" already), to battle it out on the catwalk. In spite of what the other girls say regarding Natasha's elusiveness, I'm intrigued and amused that she keeps her cards close to her chest, and I kind of hope she takes it all. Who cares if her husband's 40+ and she practically makes out with the phone while they're talking. I like her.

And then what will happen?: We're coming up on my most dreaded time of year, summer. Most particularly because all the good TV goes away and we're left with crappy knockoffs, i.e. Pirate Master. What is that all about? Survivor, it won't be. And Johann, I just don't know about Earl, or about any of these Survivors left. I was so Team Alex, now I don't know who to root for. Possibly I'll be cheering on Yau-Man, and yeah, if Earl wins I won't be too disappointed. But Stacy? Or Cassandra? Or even Boo? BLEGH. Maybe I'll root for Dreamz. He is an ILM-er, even if he is, at least in the world of Survivor Strategy, a few fries short of a Happy Meal. (ANTM: Best line ever!)

Anyway, as I was saying: Summer. It's so goddamn hot, is the thing. Must think about fresh, in-season vegetables, flip-flops, and sitting on the porch. Cookouts and camping trips. And in the absence of good TV, more reading, and more movies! Or, for the moment, maybe I won't think about it at all.