Liquor think Quicker, by M

Yesterday I got totally sauced at the launch party-2 drinks (on the office dime!) and enough non-drinkers handing out tickets because they're silly and not charging. Sweet. I headed to the bar down the street called "the bridge" around 4 and I was one of the first ones there. Waited patiently to start drinking until enough people got there. I started bold with a scotch, straight up and had an instant urge to hug everyone in the bar, especially the fungus loving frat boy, and the golf guy bob, and chat up the 2 business types that happened to be in the bar right before our party filled the place up. They sat there unassuming with beer.

I followed the Scotch with a Capecod (vodka/cranberry) then as the party went on I ate some Mexican food and was going to call the drinking quits but after I made sure the business guys had plates of food for themselves they made it their personal mission to buy me a drink, even though I protested that I had another drink ticket tucked in my bra and it wasn't necessary. Obviously I couldn't say no. As refusing makes me seem anti-fun. Clearly I am pro-fun. So I got some more Scotch (on the rocks) and saluted the boys and said thank you.

Then I went to the couch which was an apparent mistake because when I went to get up my balance and coordination was completely gone. I got a couple high-5's from another set of boys as I tottered back down. Made it up eventually for water and if there had been a dance floor i might have been oozing cozily all over it. Some more time passed and another guy who was having fun at 6+ beers in, wanted me to keep drinking so that I would cause a scene, strip and dance on the table tops... I thought this is entirely incongruous to my "type" but I appreciated the gesture and pondered that saying it to me was less like sexual harassment then if he'd said it to someone else. Maybe not?

By the time most of the people were gone I was still feeling... liquidy, talked a little too much to this girl about how little I had to do sometimes... and when she asked if I wanted a ride to my car I declined because I needed to see how unsober i really was. I managed to walk unaided up the block and dunked my hands in an alluring fountain and decided that my inability to refuse the fountain was a clear indication, that and I hiccuped scotch.

Thankfully someone left our office opened and I camped out with a couple redvelvet cupcakes and a handful of almonds... some movie watching, unsober emailing/calling and a few episodes of news radio later and i was ready to wend my way home. Around 9. An in/out burger later and I was home and wondering where I'd been. Work I knew was going to seem a much duller place on Monday.