the dentist, by pen

Reasons Why I Loathe Going to the Dentist:
1. Because it's the dentist.
2. Because it costs money, and I don't like spending money that doesn't yield something edible, or wearable and cute, or actually useful in some other way--I mean outside of having clean "healthy" teeth. Plus, you just never know what hidden surprises they're going to have for you as far as coming back and having more work done.
3. The noises. The high-pitched whirrings and scrapings that make my fingernails itch.
4. The picking. It HURTS, man. Even if your hygenist is careful.
5. The latex gloves. Half a day later and I can still smell it in the air, and on my hands, and taste it on my lips. Makes me queasy.

Reasons Why I Don't Mind Going to My Dentist as Much:
1. The waiting room. You'd think that this would be on the former list, but as a girl who rarely gets any time all to herself anymore, the waiting room is kind of nice. Today, I finished my book.
2. My dentist has decent reading materials on the waiting room coffee table, including the ever intriguing 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die.
3. The hygenists are super-nice and efficient, keeping your hellish session as brief as possible. And today mine recommended a mouthwash with flouride and bacteria fighters. And then she told me where to buy it on sale.
4. My dentist is um, easy on the eyes. Let's just say. And he is first dentist in seven years to suggest clipping off the bent arm of the bridge I busted with an Easter Egg Everlasting Gobstopper one day back when I lived in Chi-town. It's not really bothersome, but then again it kind of is. I always thought I'd just have to wait it out until the thing was non-functional, like broke off completely, and then I'd have to have some horrible, expensive surgery to get a permanent tooth implant. I shudder. But no, for now, the nice dentist is going to clip off the arm, adhere what's left of the arm to my tooth, and (hopefully) stave off the aforementioned Implant Horror for several years to come. All for just $47.
5. The tooth-shaped goodie bag filled with a toothbrush, floss threaders, travel-sized floss, and travel-sized toothpaste for sensitive teeth. Really, it's the very least they can give you after inflicting pain on both your mouth and your wallet. And what can I say, I like goodie bags. And overall I still really hate the dentist. I am, actually, a child.