1. That my house would burn down. I always thought about the things I would grab to save, and pictured my family standing out on the curb in our pajamas, fire engines in the background, flames eating the house. I speculated on how we would face the future with no closets full of clothes and no picture albums to look through. It seemed like the worst possible thing.
2. That I would get head lice.* One of the first indications is itchiness behind the ears, and every time I thought about it, I would feel it was itchy right there. I thought about how I would have to stay home from school and have each strand of my hair examined and combed through and deloused. And how my stuffed animals would have to be put into big plastic bags and suffocated so that all the lice would die. The animals would never be viewed the same. And all the linens would have to be washed, but would it work? Would the little head worms keep coming back? It would make me an outcast, but worse because I wouldn't even be able to live comfortably with myself.
*I'm already dreading the kids going to school, and the inevitable epidemics. How to keep them immune?
3. Dogs. Just in general, I was terrified. I was terrified of dogs of all sizes and breeds. I hated barking (actually still kind of do) because it always made me jump involuntarily (still does). I dreaded going over friends' houses who had dogs because their parents tried but never did an impeccable job of keeping the dog locked away. Whenever I saw a dog out walking, I would cross to the other side of the street, feeling tense in every nerve until I couldn't see the dog anymore. Although I still worried, particularly if the dog was unleashed, that it would hunt me down and find me, terrorize me, before I made it home.
4. Riding the bus, which is unfortunate, because I had to do it every school day. Because we lived out in the sticks, we were always picked up first and dropped off last, so the ride was as long as it could possibly be. With only the preoccupied bus driver to defend you, you were an easy target for public torment. You might have to sit next to someone with Issues: maybe they couldn't stand you, or you just didn't know each other, so it was Awkward, or maybe they smelled like earwax and salami sandwiches. When you were fighting with your friends, it was so much more painfully obvious than in school. If you were caged in with your enemies, you feared attack--verbal ridicule or (especially in junior high) physical assault. In fact, riding the bus was like School combined with Anarchy. It was just plain bad news. And also, just environmentally speaking, the potential for nausea was high. Any day that it rained and the steamy windows had to be up? Or God forbid someone decide to vomit. Then you were really stuck.
5. What we were playing in gym class. Obstacle Course Day=fun! Any game involving the hard red rubber playground balls=not fun. Horrible, in fact, especially Bombardment, which was Dodgeball, except with every ball the PE staff had on hand. Which I couldn't wear my glass for. And I was half blind. And a wuss. Still am. I don't recall ever worrying about being picked last for a team, but I wasn't particularly athletic. I was okay-athletic for elementary school, I think. I liked the games involving the battacas (sp?) where you have to whack each other and free prisoners, etc. Although I hated any game that required wearing a limp, anonymously sweat-soaked pinney in order to distinguish teams. I didn't mind free-throw day with the basketballs, but a full-fledged game? Forget that. Volleyball was okay, so long as it wasn't with the actual volleyball, but an inflatable beach ball, and if it wasn't, then I was only good at serving and then ducking. Did you all ever play four-square volleyball with the ginormous inflatable beach ball that was super-heavy but also satisfyingly bouncy? We played crab style, which got a little tricky after awhile, but it was generally good times. Hated square dancing, but everyone hated square dancing with a flaming passion. In high school, the days I liked best were line dancing, just because it was completely non-threatening, as well as table tennis, and sometimes badminton. Everything else was pretty much a nightmare, especially swimming, because who in the hell could suit up, do whatever inane water activity the teacher had planned, shower off, get into dry clothes, and fix one's hair before the next class started. And let's not forget you have to actually get to the next class on time. We had 40 minute periods, too. Forty minutes. It's just not a lot. And have I mentioned I was half-blind? And I didn't wear disposable contacts then, so I pretty much had to take them out, lest I open my eyes underwater accidentally and lose a $100 pair. So for that, too, all I saw were blurs.
8 comments:
i also worried about the house fire thing and spent time deciding what i would take in the event of one.
lice don't like kids with dirty hair - contrary to popular opinion. it's too hard to run around in it. so, just don't wash your kids' hair! ; )
i also was the first one on and last one off the bus in kindergarten. once, by a mistake purely my own, i sat in the seat reserved for the bad kid who had to sit in the front seat by the bus driver so he could be watched. i was just trying to stay near my friends and realized my mistake too late. he sat on the outside of the bench, forcing me against the wall, and literally growled menancingly under his breath the whole way to his stop.
I got lice from one of my campers when I worked at day camp in junior high.
Comb a lot with the fine toothed combs you get in the packet with the special shampoo. A lot. :)
We played soccer crab-style in P.E. It was one of my favorites. I was also a duck-and-cover volleyball player, unless we played with a beach ball or the really light neon volleyball.
The only fight my brother ever got in was on the school bus because someone was picking on me. I think poor Justin lost, but it was the thought that counts.
I always love the bus scene in Sixteen Candles. And the end of Ferris Buellers. Spot-on what it's like riding the bus.
I was a nightmare at volleyball. It's the one sport in which I couldn't claim even the most mediocre of competence. I was always relegated to the last pick. And sadly, I knew why.
The head lice thing... yup I think that oily hair deters the critters.
I got them once, I remember the itching at the nape of the neck.
So many worries. Oh dear. What is playing four square crab style?
i got lice and they were gigantic. who knew, that may have started my upward spiral to bad hygiene.
also i blame the school system for our fire fears. it's all those damn questions in class that are suppose to stimulate thought but instead only stimulate terror toward apocalyptic situations. what would you grab? as if that's suppose to be fucking enlightening. not.
I also had the house-fire thing, but I can't blame it on the school system (I was homeschooled). I do blame it on TV, though, and specifically a show I watched as a kid in which this family's house burnt to the ground. Scared the hell out of me. Mostly, I was worried about how all of the pets would get out -- the cat, dog, hamsters, fish, etc. Telling.
I had a classmate in second grade, Nick Butchko, who burned his house to the ground. This probably fueled the fear. Nick Butchko also regularly turned his eyelids inside out, though, so I guess it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise.
Four square volleyball is where they hook up four nets together, all linked in the middle, so there are four teams playing each other. I don't remember how score is kept. Crab style means playing on all fours and kicking the giant ball over the net instead of hitting it with your hands. Geez, the things we did!
I remember, at long last, that I used to be concerned that I might be blind someday so I practiced doing things like dressing with my eyes closed so that I could do that if I was blind. I had watched the Miracle Worker.
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