a day into night... wasn't sure if it was because i had too much to drink or i was tired. onecosmo. oneglassofwine. onewhiterussian. a conversation about how you should never use cheap qtips to clean your ear.neverever.thats why things turn bad. and then something about greys anatomy and danish furniture from the 50's and hypoglycemia, chicago. but i'd already agreed to not go home, so i went to move my car off the street, bcs it's one of those wacky pre-gestapo places where unknown cars = crime, and i almost slammed into the car behind me, coincidentally her roommates car- and that would've been bad. following, i pulled up and committed myself to staying and only after a succession of events i realized how badly prepared i was to be stranded on someones couch. no night shirt, no lunch for tomorrow, no cash in my account... i slept in a sweatshirt i had in the trunk, noted that i had floss and listerine strips at least and called it a night.
i woke at an ungodly hour, hoped i hadn't made any mad utterances that could be heard from the living room where i slept and stared out into the fog hanging low in the mountains and rain. my friend was up and told me about all the morning foodstuffs and that i needed her deodorant and perfume asap. in my defense i can't smell very well, it'd been a very long day and i had slept in a sweatshirt. i definitely had that not so fresh feeling but was glad she was willing to tell me so i didn't have to subject the new workplace to my bohemian self. slightly mortifying. pretty amusing. we read a psalms, drank tea, sat in the natural light of the morning and i thought, i hope i don't smell anymore. the roommates petdove chortled from the bathroom.
still not quite awake apparently, i splashed my face with water and gave myself a once over in the mirror. i was the last one to leave and my car was the furthest back from the drive- so i had to manuever it btw the fence and the house. after 5 adjustments to get my car angled right i proceeded confidentally until i glanced in my side mirror just in time to see it about to be wrenched off by the gate. awesome. i don't think it'll ever be the same again. alas. then i figured i had about $3 to spare for gas, since i'm not about to go without lunch. got that, left the flap open and wended my way into the city, going about 50 on a sparcely rained on road the car started fish-tailing in the fastlane and probably unwisely i put on the breaks, or at least i remember letting off the gas first, i hope- so i got the fuck over to the right lane, checked my tires with my mirror and kept going, albiet slowly, into the city. then in the parking garage i got the bright idea to clean off the car. i paused to floss... then after finishing the last swipe of the rag i almost bit it hard as my shoe made contact with a puddle. i had a listerine strip.
after that i started to move thru the day very slowly. i figured the day was conspiring to take me down a peg somehow and my guardian angel was having to work overtime. i sat at my desk and felt a headcold lumming. i acted normally, which involved conversation, a burger with onion rings, talking to talent, getting releases signed, making eyecontact and wondered what awaited me on my drive home.
luckily it passed without incident as i'm still here talking to you, but for a while there i wasn't so sure. that my humanity had risen up to clobber me- that despite the rain and the majestic clouds there was something pulling me into the compost. i'm still glancing warily over my shoulder.
2 comments:
Ah!
1, why can't I use cheap q-tips? Have I been cheating death?
2, I can't remember the last time I was stranded on someone's couch. I think I miss that.
3, I was expecting a bigger payoff. Any payoff. Something insightful. But maybe that's just it, maybe the lack of payoff is the acumen, that nothing is meaningful. That there is an emptiness and lack of purpose to everything we do??? I'm buying into this more and more.
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