Do you ever find yourself doing something that you know is a stupid idea, and take time in your mind to recognize that fact, yet keep going just because you're on a roll? This morning I was rifling through a bunch of bags trying to find suitable wrapping paper for a 1-year-old, and a pair of sharp-ass scissors dangled from my teeth. I thought, hmmm, probably not the best idea--but then thought about the effort it would require to take the scissors and put them somewhere else, when my hands were already busy, and vetoed the idea. How stupid. Which is exactly what the people hovering over my casket would say when they discussed the accident where I tripped and fell, impaled my own throat somehow and consequently bled to death. Why the hell did she have scissors dangling from her teeth?
Thursday, January 4, 2007
scissor sister
Do you ever find yourself doing something that you know is a stupid idea, and take time in your mind to recognize that fact, yet keep going just because you're on a roll? This morning I was rifling through a bunch of bags trying to find suitable wrapping paper for a 1-year-old, and a pair of sharp-ass scissors dangled from my teeth. I thought, hmmm, probably not the best idea--but then thought about the effort it would require to take the scissors and put them somewhere else, when my hands were already busy, and vetoed the idea. How stupid. Which is exactly what the people hovering over my casket would say when they discussed the accident where I tripped and fell, impaled my own throat somehow and consequently bled to death. Why the hell did she have scissors dangling from her teeth?
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5 comments:
Yesterday while heating soup, I touched the side of the pot to see if it was hot rather than dipping spoon in and cautiously sipping. I wonder what it is that short circuits in these moments.
oh dear god- i'm glad it had no such perilous consequence.
look at you living on the edge and what not!
jack-ass eh?
I have to admit, halfway through this post I was expecting it to conclude in bloodshed.
I often envision myself being impaled by scissors of various lengths and sizes as I jauntily run from my office to the supplies closet. However, when I die, no one will wanna attend the funeral of such an idiot.
I thought of you this morning as I tried to cut off a string on my right sleeve with the scissors in my left hand (I'm right-handed). I probably should have just taken off the shirt instead of risking my arm and fingers...
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