Well, if it's not me, then let it be you. Just remember me when you've hit it big.
1. 100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them, Stanley Bing.* This book's inspiration was threefold. One, it gives you ideas for the actual jobs, should you need a source of income in addition to your blogging/writing. (Although, I have to say, I've thought of quite of few on my own already, I just have no marketing skills. Closet organizer? Please. That is my dream.) Two, the book includes "blogger" as one of the jobs. Granted, the author is also rather blunt in revealing this occupation will make you absolutely no money, but we already knew that. And three, this man, Stanley Bing, managed to write not only this book, but several similar guidebooks, or Top 100 Lists, or whatever, and get them published. They have cute little covers (because, obviously, you should always judge a book by its cover), they're funny, they're concise--and they're currently featured on the endcap at Barnes & Noble. Which is, in and of itself, bullshit. But, the man has got to be rich, and laughing about it.
2. How to Stay Bitter Through the Happiest Times of Your Life, Anita Liberty. Whenever I think about the fact that I don't write anymore, it always pops into my head that I might just be too damn happy to be a writer. Let's be honest, a happy person does not a good writer make. Also, I don't have some Great Tragedy in my back pocket that's going to get me published in my alleged forte, creative non-fiction, or even generate moderate interest amongst friends. Basically, I'm boring. But, this lady, Anita Liberty, presents a new option for getting published when you're feeling way too content in your life. Simply write about the fact that you're way too content, and why this is a problem for your writing. And, in paging through the book, I noticed that she basically rips passages from her own blog to tell the story. She's a performance artist in real life, so she does the blog-snatching along with a few other plays on form, making for at least a visually interesting read, if not a riveting one. And maybe it is riveting, what do I know. It did get 5 stars on amazon.
3. If Harry Potter Ran General Electric : Leadership Wisdom from the World of the Wizards, Tom Morris. Um, hello. Where is my "just for Being You" check they're due to send me in the mail so I can Buy. This. Book. The glasses alone are a grabber. I don't care if it's non-fictiony rhetoric about the business world, I need it, and I need it now. It basically breaks down the ideals contained in the Harry Potter series, and discusses how they are applied in the corporate world. Which, just reading the statement, I'm skeptical. I effing hate corporations and all they stand for. (Aside from Target, I mean. And, clearly, Barnes & Noble. And a bunch of other stores I shop at on a regular basis.) I've read just the cover, though, and I'm already sucked in, simply because it is pro-Harry Potter, and this guy has nothing to do with JK Rowling, he's just plucking ideas straight out of her work and making his own little cash stockpile. Good for him. And thus, another option for "creative" non-fictioners with not a damn thing in their own life to write about. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: we can't all be kidnapped, robbed, beaten and thrown in a trunk for dead. Ahem.*Yes, the links are to amazon, rather than B&N, which doesn't really make sense considering we were actually at the B&N store. But, the reviews there are more informative, what can I say.
11 comments:
I disagree with that comment about how you have to be miserable to be a writer.
Lies!
Some writers I know are miserable people, but I don't think it makes them better writers.
It just makes them less fun at parties.
Yeah -- I've dated the brooding writer-type. Not. Fun.
I know what you mean about cultivating material, though. I'm doing a lot of whining on my blog these days, which is not fun either. blah blah blah, so I don't know what I want to do next. I really need to get over that, I realize. And apparently buy one of these books. Or else get kidnapped, thrown in the trunk of my car, and left for dead.
Scratch that. I'll stick with buying a book, thanks.
I know how you feel. I mean, you know how hard it was to sell my books before I had a cocaine addiction, was thrown in jail for running over a cop and lost my best and only friend in high school through a tragic car-train crash? It was freakin impossible.
Sorry. Couldn't resist.
I do not believe misery makes for a better writer. But one tends to find focus and clarity when they are forced to, such as during periods of great despair.
When you can only suffer, why not suffer and write?
yah i will never forget when you mark and me were talking to phyllis and she said i was almost too happy or normal to be a writer-i was like- she clearly doesn't know the things going on in my head- and then i thought that's the pit/trap of every artist- and an excuse to not "heal" from whatever your dealing with- bcs they're afraid they lose their voice if they become healthier. not true i say. not true. you're less likely to commit suicide or pick up an addiction. and may i say also sometimes you and your voice are compelling enough- you can talk about rolling off a couch and make it intersting. you're doing your voice a HUGE DISSERVICE. i know you know this. but really you need to KNOW IT and to hear it. and i just HAD to say it.
Pen said: "[...]we can't all be kidnapped, robbed, beaten and thrown in a trunk for dead."
I beg to differ. We can totally take turns doing the above to EACH OTHER. We each just have to pick a different week. And whoever gets me has to have a mid-size sedan; I can't fit into a compact's trunk.
It's so simple, it's brilliant.
And please leave me a box of those crunchy goldfish things in your trunk. I might get a tad peckish after I'm pummeled.
I like the pretzel-flavored goldfish, just for the record.
Just to note, Anita Liberty also has a book called "How to Heal the Hurt by Hating," which is true genius.
Well, I say if fabrication and plagerism are in (James Frey meets Opal Metha) the sky's the limit in terms of what we can inflict on each other. We can brawl in the streets, fake our own deaths and disappearances, establish rival gangs. Isn't that what "creative" writing means these days?
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