Flip It

After grad school I didn't really give my parents the chance to turn my room into anything else but a shrine to me- Firstly I installed friends on a rotating basis who stayed in my room for a semester to a year, so they wouldn't get used to a personal sense of freedom without children and then i came home for the summers and the holidays just to remind then that it was in fact a possibility i might return. Prefrably of course I'd be living in a swank house with a well-to-do husband, clearly i was never meant to live in a shit hole, so my personal freedom is frankly not worth the suicidal tendencies it would garner... Although life on the urban farm has its downsides- the septic tank for one which just equates to shitty plumbing and a whole lot of letting it mellow and feeling guilty for taking long showers. The second more prominent problem is the hideous lack of air conditioning- I'm sure that the power in the house couldn't handle it though- for instance we turn on the microwave and the toaster and the whole house trips a switch- and someone has to set down their bbq chicken and go turn everything back on- plus i think the house is so leaky it wouldn't hold the air. But I rue the summer and in particular, record heat breaking days, like saturday where the temperature in my backyard was 112F. today it was like a humid 105F. WTF,right? ... but that's life outside of LA- and its called 'the valley'.

which leads me to my dads fortress of solitude. in some sort of premonition, back in the 80's my dad forsaw his withdrawl from society and family. Or in fact he was already craftily planning his escape. He decided to "add on" to the garage- which meant doubling its size and adding a story- the precious 2nd story, where there is installed an a/c unit. everyday he goes out and up and does not return until dinner. the only downside is the garage doesn't have cable or a bathroom- otherwise we'd never see him. so mom and i only venture up to harass him if we need something or mom wants to sew... usually we prefer outside and the house to the temperate environs of the ever running cryogenics machine. except for days like this- we plan our take over. he invites mom up, bcs you know, he enjoys her company- but me... that's 50/50. for instance he hates any of our music selections. i hate his and mom sits inbtw with a grumpy face. i become a petulant teen, or a 7 year old- to get his attention- dad,dad,dad,dad- what! dad,dad,dad,dad- but he never rationalizes that i will most likely refuse to suffer and he always acts surprised when i come trapsing up the stairs and begin to take over everything like the invasive species that i am-

so now after a night of designing a quilt, watching reruns of the office- i've decided to stay behind. (the temp in my room is 90.) i pulled the camping pads down from the rafters- gave myself a tablecloth for a blanket and brought a pillow. i've absconded his laptop and am camping out like a true drifter, couch loaf, kid whose been banished to the basement-it's like a vacation from myself- with the hum of sweet cold air.
-M
(ps. please send the latest entertainment weekly, double-ply toilet paper, some chapstick, sunflower seeds and dietcoke- also if you can- some double chocolate-chocolate chips and whatever netflix cd you're finished with. thanks!

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