You must absolutely figure out this whole America's Next Top Model airtime thing. I realize this particular service area does not get UPN, and until UPN and the WB merge into the CB, or the UPNWB, or the WhateverItBe, certain shows like ANTM have to be aired on CBS at weird times. I am grateful CBS even chooses to air them. But, why, Time Warner Cable, why are you screwing with my DVR. TWC-who-is-Not-The-Weather-Channel, I am sad.
If ANTM truly airs on CBS from 1:37 am to 2:34 am on Saturday morning, or whatever bizarro time it is, then please, air the show then. Do not start the episode halfway through said random slot, so that half the ep is cut off, and I never get to see the models make asses of themselves at panel or Tyra dramatically saying goodbye to one of the very beautiful girls standing before her. With only half the ep, I can only guess why the girl with odd eye makeup from New Orleans was eliminated last week. I can only conjecture whether Nigel again likened Furonda the former phone sex operator's "best shot" to a praying mantis. I can be only half a witness to Jade's spectacular displays of egomaniacal bitchiness. And, I might just die without seeing the latest installment of Nicole's Life as a Cover Girl Model. I really might.
TWC, please don't make me wait for the VH1 marathon, I'm begging you. Just talk to my DVR. And this time, tell it the truth.
Love,
Penelope
Dude. Does she look a tiny bit like Voldemort?
7 comments:
She is NOT America's next top model. I like Molly Sue.
double d
Hello mendacious's friend,
I wouldn't consider myself a ANTM fan (though I could certainly get used to calling it ANTM). Not that I couldn't become a fan, after all it is a show about models. Goregeous models. And we're talking full-body models here, none of that hand model crap, or boot modeling, or model railroads (God, I'm sorry). And it's an interesting concept to me, putting all the girls together like that, raising them in a herd.
But that's not why you called. So I watched this show for the first time the other day (at it's normal evening timeslot, very convenient). Now I'm not sure if they're still taping episodes for this season, so I might not be any good to you. But if they are, oh I would like to go on a mission, a mission just for you. I noticed they got them sweet mommas cooped up in the Frank Lloyd Wright house across the street here. If you want, I'll make up an excuse to walk over there, maybe deliver a pizza, or whatever it is supermodels eat. And once they welcome me in, I'm sure I can sort this whole airtime thing out for you. I know it sounds like a lot, but it's the least I can do. After all, you're mendacious' friend.
Please, if not for you, then me. I'm begging you, give me the courage to try. I'm so desperate to go knock on that door. I open my screen door at night and just listen. Listen. Listen. After seeing footage of them in that hot tub, how's a man suppose to sleep?? See what time it is! See what they're doing to me!! Actually, I think that's the coffee. Boy, I can ramble when I'm on this stuff.
Talk to you later, mendacious' friend.
I like Molly Sue, too, but Sarah's my favorite with her badass haircut and Scarlett Johanssen-esque looks. And how they drafted her for ANTM at the mall, and she could have cared less about being a model previously. Although they keep acting like Nnenna's going to win. I admit, she's a charmer.
johann, 3 large pizzas: 2 pepperoni, 1 extra cheese. Go!
i want pictures!
I wish I had a camera, I would film it for youtube. A one-take, handheld masterpiece. My gift to world. I think this is something the world wants. If only I had a camera, I'd become the DeMille of youtube. You'll see!
Whatev. Do you think they'd let in somone with pizzas? Now if you had three gallons of watercress with fat-free Ranch on the side, you might be IN.
Also, I haven't seen this year's eps (obvi, because we don't get UPN) but I'm a sucker for when they're on the VH1 marathons. Love me a marathon. Is Tyra insisting on announcing the prizes EVERY episode? That's not fierce.
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