pendriven,

So allegedly you're moving today. Maybe already on the road? Though i have seen no pictures or had any texts to confirm what might be a momentous ocassion? I have to admit I feel out of the loop. And a little pouty about it all. I'm just going to confess that outright.

But thats because the Santa Anas are in the air and that's making me wistful. I even randomly made my desk drawer less heavy by taking out the pack of paper and the bag of confetti i've had since the 80's. For no apparent reason. I wasn't sure why they were even in there. I mean the desk which is made of plastic and mdf has survived since '92? or and i mean why do i want a new desk even though innately i feel its "time" whatever that means. (I better go pause for breakfast).

Ok i'm back. I ate. I feel better. And of course am re-watching theoffice on hulu. And then i got back and i have a text from you. Which is just what i needed. Except for you being all ill and in the midst of packing up still and not on the road at all and maybe having to leave things behind. So now I'm sympathetic and I'm sorry I'm not there to strap things to my car and drive up with you. I feel I need to increase texting with you so I have more quick reassuring communications. I mean we have these lengthy tombs or is it tomes? on the magical web but why not just send you, lol. and omg. i do send you pics. i wonder why i get to this stage of thinking you're imaginary. And then i become particularly needy of reassurance you're not. Hopefully I'll come see you soon. I know we want you to visit LA, but when? There is such a thing to divine timing and the rents house isn't done yet and you've just moved so we'll see. By the end of next year or the beginning of the one after might work. The year of the dragon should be auspicious for me... I am wary of the ubiquitous 2011. But more about that later.

I understand about waiting sometimes in my best moments. Like Cathy and i wanting to go to SouthEastAsia or Cairo together. She often has the $ and i do not. Cutting up the credit card was good though. I can feel some increased motivation in there stirring. But we'll see.

Anyway nevermind. I'm going to eat fruit.
and I love you.

m.