oh friend, hello.
i did some sewing today, some lintrolling, some postofficing and i rallied and got all the decorations out of the attic... it was a close one there. it was right on the fringe of who cares christmassmishmish. but i lit a fire in the fireplace and put some music on and made the living room a right and proper festive place. mom still hasn't come home with a tree but i have hopes for tomorrow. i would say i could just bring myself a christmas tree but whats the fun in that, and honestly now that the credit card is gone it hurt that 17.68 i spent at the post office today. but then i felt that i really do want to continue to send mail. so...
also i'm a little jealous of your fb photos. mostly because its like fb knows more about you than i do. totally irrational i know- but i'm suffering loss right now.... so i can't be expected to not be petulant and demanding. i'm unsettled that you're unsettled. though by the looks of it more settled than before. but i can't picture you there. despite the pictures. also i'm currently debating the quilting idea we settled on... do i quilt the logcabin pattern or a large and awesome dragonfly each square? ach.
otherwise my other thought today involved the question if i was infact really addicted to being jobless or if i'm perpetually traumatized and thus it mkaes me detach from the fear associated with the cliff. i can't decide. or making much sense. at times like these i crave pancakes and french toast. and the sugar i've been having lately- last night after this chocolate sorbet i was like , ugh ... agh... binge. it was tasty with walnuts but still. the hot shower didn't solve the problem and i couldn't fall asleep for the ringing humming stuffed left ear thing until i put the music on loud. and then i woke to the sound of the cat puking. now he's trying to get me to groom him because he's been misted all over by the non-rain.
ok, i better go.