Happy Eve!

Do you all believe that adage about ringing in the New Year, and how it's somehow reflective or prophetic of the year to come? Last year at this time, I was mondo pregnant, therefore not able to catch a decent buzz, and also Very Tired overall, and so naturally we stayed home and did not a whole lot. A quiet evening brought a relatively quiet year. I mean, I had a baby and all, but compared to years prior? Not much dramatic happened, good or bad, and for that I breathe a huge sigh of relief. We didn't buy anything enormous like a house, I only quit one job, J.Lo stayed in his job and remained happy with it. Only one traffic infraction, everyone remained alive and, for the most part, well. It was a quiet and good year overall, just like our NYE.

My friend J says she brought in 2006 away from home and drunker than she's ever been, and paid dearly for it. I'm not exactly sure what that meant for her year, but it was a rather crazy-busy-erratic one, filled with adventures both fun and regrettable. A few years ago, I rang in the New Year having drunk every kind of alcohol available: red wine, white wine, champagne, liquor shots, beer, and a mixed drink--I think I had one of each?--and somehow managed to avoid too bad of a hangover. What did that mean, that I would have a year where I would fly under the radar of idiocy's consequences? Hmmm. I have to think about that.

This year, we'll be ringing in the New Year quietly once more, this time marathoning with all four Harry Potter movies. J.Lo's even giving up Sunday football for it; it's a big day. There will be one bottle of champagne to share, chicken parm to eat, and a K.Lo to squeeze. So what does this mean? Perhaps that 2007 will be quiet and yet magical, filled with family and low-key good vibes? Cheers to that. I can only hope.

PSA: Ugly Betty

It's time to play catch-up! For those of you who are unable to watch Ugly Betty at its regularly scheduled time due to unfortunate TV scheduling issues and/or irritating computer problems, or for those who just want to watch: the Ugly Betty Marathon is here! Monday starting at 10 AM on SoapNet. Woohoo! What better day than New Year's to indulge in a TV show marathon?

calling all fans of "the office"

As part of my reorganizational spree that will surely continue into the New Year, I've decided that I need a new computer desktop wallpaper as well. And I've finally found desktop scenes featuring "The Office!" Check it out. They've got Jim, Pam, Jan Levinson, Michael Scott, and even Toby, who now resides woefully on my screen.

movie crossovers

In the lazy days following Christmas, J.Lo and I have been watching a lot of movies, both from Netflix and the Christmas Booty. Among them: Little Miss Sunshine, Talladega Nights, Pirates of the Caribbean 2, and soon (eeeee!) Zach Braff's The Last Kiss. What I so enjoy, for whatever reason, with movies and TV, is picking out actors and playing Where the Hell Have We Seen Them Before. It's like a game, I guess, and so much fun. J.Lo is much better at it than I, particularly with voices, but it does drive me batty when I can't figure one out, and I'll usually break for help from the imdb, lest I lose a minute of sleep. Anyway, with a few of these movies this week, the crossovers have been fantastic. Every time Davy Jones came on the screen, his tentacles twitching, I sang, I feel it in my fingers... I feel it in my TOES. And it made me laugh every time. I love Bill Nighy. Love Love, Actually. Oh--and how did we miss the first time that Borat (not that I've seen it yet, despite Kim's rec) is in Talladega Nights? As the snooty gay French NASCAR driver, Jean Girard? Crazy! And, of course, so is Bill Lumbergh, i.e. Gary Cole, as Reese Bobby, Ricky Bobby's dad... Oh, and then! So is Leslie Bibb, as Ricky Bobby's faithless trophy wife? And I so just wrote about Popular mere weeks ago.

The lists could go on and on, I'm sure. Summer Roberts is in The Last Kiss, the girl Jim dated briefly on The Office (Amy Adams) is Ricky Bobby's assistant and girlfriend after he gets dumped by Leslie Bibb... Peter Krause totally makes The Lost Room 1,000 times better than I'd normally find a Sci-Fi Channel miniseries, just because he was in Six Feet Under. Amelie spices up the DaVinci Code. Et cetera.

Now if only I could stay awake for the entirety of these films, I'd be in good shape. The plan for New Year's Eve thus far is a Harry Potter marathon, and I see myself making it halfway through the Sorcerer's Stone before passing out (is there a better nap than a movie nap?), but we'll see. Perhaps I shall triumph.

Conversations

Today I engaged in an actual, mind stimulating conversation. It sort of blew my mind. Like I was emerging from a void and gasping for breath. The thing about school, which i loved and okay loathed was the constant conversation. You could find anyone at a turn and drop into a topic, and classes were non-stop must have dialogue-thons- about this theory, and that meaning, and for godsake WHY... and legitimacy and hacks and whatever. And this absence is occassionally why i find myself becoming more ignorant by degrees. Also, where I've been lately, I find it difficult to enter into conversation naturally- you know, you either feel stupid or like your butting in or worse acting like a know-it-all though i often will act the smartass for pure kicks. I can't help it. I find the death of wit disturbing and will carry it on with me to the grave.

So, at lunch after a discussion about what THAT smell was in the kitchen... this guy who happens to be one of my people- he didn't think so at first but he can't fail after i pointed it out- was to recognize that i'm a theatre buff and a writer- he is therefore after a couple months of disinterested hostility, willing to talk to me, and of course launch into those absurd dialogues like theatre people have about being on other planets and being other people- and you either roll your eyes or play along- he was having a side conversation with our inv.manager and said, so that's why you didn't recognize me, i'm in my true form- I said, oh well that explains the tail...

His head whipped around and soon after we were in a debate about the heartless devouring nature of "Hollywood"... and in many ways we deduced it's like a college town- in that most are transient and most are not at all committed to it- and hence could take or leave it- i see the non-local population as leeches occassionally- who are here for what they want and could take it or leave it- the ambvilance is damning. anyway, from there it was about the 'river' and why people in the hills would have houses in the pathway of a dam in a place known for quakes... and then onto silly topics like global warming and weather- which no, we can't control and very nearly most always can't predict. and when suddenly the lunch hour was over, i was like-

gasp. oh my god. what was that. i feel so... so... ALIVE.

of course, that was quickly wicked away by the still, empty bookstore- an empty cart, emaculateness and nothing to do. I paced. I paused, i sat, i futzed... and tried to figure out how i could get that feeling back again.

My Skinny Pancakes

are better than YOUR skinny pancakes. i have the best swedish pancake recipe ever!!!

oh and apparently my aunt came over to my grandma's last night and noticed her car that she had stored there had been badly dented- but was more mad that no one had told her in the 2wks it'd been there. she actually stormed off and never came back. am i glad i missed it? or should i have witnessed it?... nah. still glad i sat and watched the first 2 hours of fanny and alexander and 2 hours of christmas themed scrubs. also o'd. on oj and fudge. so GOOD.

K.Lo meets the big man in the red suit

Celebrate

Last night i got to play pictionary, which i was skeptical about but turned out to be great. As a personal challenge i tried to draw out Zeus... and his myth, but mom just didn't get it. So she had to sit in the corner.

And as i stood over my whirring juicer this morning i contemplated celebrating abundance and life and of course baby jesus and it occured to me that i should celebrate more often. There is something really fantastic about sharing what you love with others- whether its pulp laden oj or your recipe for swedish pancakes or a particular panache you have for setting things a blaze... but make an effort to make things count- at least every once'n'while.

So have a merry christmas whereever you are- And bring to life whatever brings you joy and give it to as many people as possible. I wish i could be in this sort of positive reflection all the time. But alas that's what occassions are for.

Things I'm glad for:
Hot tea, butter cookies, fireplaces, domestic cats and dogs, you&me/us gifts, holiday music stations, arch support, fruit, blogs, sinus medication, forest trees, harvests, cold days with clouded breath, edward gorey, words, laughter, cinammon, color, twinkling lights, flowers, pink nail polish, blue hairdye, gyms, tvs, feather pillows, cotton, hats, wood floors, fudge with nuts, pigsn'ablanket, surprises, things remembered, blues, documentaries about the theremin, shea butter, alarm clocks with tempature read outs, cat treats, cat nip, parfait glasses, books about things, and wrapping paper, oh, and the solstice.. and of course baby jesus who was probably born in the summer sometime- as a vulnerable 'god is with us' gift to humanity.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman

God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember Christ our Savior
Was born upon this day (or Was born on Christmas Day)
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
In Bethlehem, in Israel, (or "in Jewry")
This blessèd Babe was born
And laid within a manger
Upon this blessèd morn
The which His Mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
From God our Heavenly Father
A blessed Angel came;
And unto certain Shepherds
Brought tidings of the same:
How that in Bethlehem was born
The Son of God by Name.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
"Fear not then," said the Angel,
"Let nothing you affright,
This day is born a Saviour
Of a pure Virgin bright,
To free all those who trust in Him
From Satan's power and might."
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
The shepherds at those tidings
Rejoiced much in mind,
And left their flocks a-feeding
In tempest, storm and wind:
And went to Bethlehem straightway
The Son of God to find.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
And when they came to Bethlehem
Where our dear Saviour lay,
They found Him in a manger,
Where oxen feed on hay;
His Mother Mary kneeling down,
Unto the Lord did pray.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
Now to the Lord sing praises,
All you within this place,
And with true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace;
This holy tide of Christmas
All other doth deface.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy...

but just enough

i've gotten 5 paper cuts at work all of which enduced bleeding and my full paycheck for 2 wks is still not barely even with what i made once a week at my cookie giving job. i am both simultaneously grateful for the cookie giving job and unable to muster more than a faint hint of chagrin- i mean i do mutter phrases like 'i have to get out of this job' or 'i have to find another job'... but i seem to be complacently bidding my time. i'm barely even demoralized. which is good for the holidays. when i remembered i had to go into work today and tomorrow not unlike Bob Cratchit, only a tiny wave of dread washed over me. and then i shrugged, and waited for the sun to come up.

and like everyone else i'm ticking off movies i've watched, like: scrooged, national lampoons christmas, charlie browns christmas, christmas story, the grinch who stole chrismas... and have hopes for watching things like: the ref, die hard, hercule poirots christmas and nightmare before christmas.

i even watched a lifetime movie per pen's suggest. and when i get home from laboring lightly around books for $8/hr i will turn on all the sparkly shiny things on the tree and stare off into space. and maybe watch another movie, but not read a book, no not that.

not too much

I thought I should post at least once more before being swept away in a holiday whirlwind of travel, twinkle lights, giving and receiving, family and eggnog and good cheer. Baby's first Christmas, yay! All the presents are purchased, wrapped and under the tree. I need to bake a cheesecake before we go away, and pack some bags. So far the stuffing veggies have been chopped, the aquarium water refreshed, and the living room dusted. We'll be returning Christmas Day for part 2 of holiday festivities, and I'll be cooking a turkey dinner. And yet what else is there to say? Just a random few come to mind:

-(Mis)Adventures has been updated to the new blogger. Experienced a brief formatting scare yesterday when updating the template, but switched computers and recovered. Phew.
-I got my $105 back from Wachovia bank. I think we'll still switch our accounts, with the exception of a CD, but for now, Hallelujah.
-K.Lo is fairly mobile now, and over the past few days has been into e v e r y t h i n g. The books, the CDs, the cupboards, the drawers, the yet-to-be organized recipes, the aforementioned presents under the tree. She can't yet walk and she doesn't crawl, but that baby can get around town using an ever-elusive scooch maneuver.
-A fish has died, and another 2 look sketchy. I don't know what's going on there, but I fear it may be the ich. Or whatever it is I've had possibly prophetic dreams about.
-On a positive aquarium note, however, 2 new algae-eaters have made their home in Greek-Ruins Central, and creepy as they look, we have high hopes for their scouring expertise. They won't go hungry in that tank, that's for sure.

-We've watched the Christmas party ep of "The Office" twice. I totally would have gone to the Committee for Planning Parties' party, rather than the Party-Planning Committee's party, but perhaps not before snagging one of Angela's brownies.
-Overall, it's been a peaceful week, filled with chores and holiday movies and Harry Potter, OotP, on CD. Can't think of anything better...

Merry Christmas, everyone!
xo,
pen

A contest like the old times...

What 'adventure' means to me in 25 words or less:

Something that challenges my own sense of safe, touches what makes life worth living; finding the struggle worth what I experience: Beautiful, full of purpose.

Unexpected Gift

So this show i worked on... my part wrapped back in October, and a week ago they called wanting to check my address... and no it wasn't for another job, but maybe... and no, it wasn't for a bonus check... like they do that sort of thing in this industry. mwah! this sugary confection- a glorious cookie, possibly buttery- 3x5, with the picture of the dog who is featured on our show... dropped into my mail slot- awesomely the face was still in tact though broken in half... most likely bcs of my perfectly friendly, non-attack dog, zeppelin... and could've even been hand delivered bcs the $1.60 yosemite stamps seem unmarked... and possibly available to reuse... so bonus. thanks jeff!

hope this tastes as good as it looks- maybe with some earl grey by a roaring fire.

awesome.

xoxo, m.

what's a little bunny sacrifice btw friends.

this completely righteous photo was taken by sarah, who came over to save the day and help me finish my decorating. the day was decadent holiday fair... running late, even though i started at 7am, wrapped presents, dropped 1off, mailed the rest, got ready, flew out the door and got to my friends house 1/2 hour late. thanks to j. for a lovely tea, with the rain outside and the clouds low on the mountains- it was a perfect- it seemed as if saturday i was living life how it should be lived. i traveled into downtown, picked up my friend sarah and off we went to the shrine auditorium for "bizarre bazaar"... basically for all those fringe types- who know what rockabilly is and thinks little skulls are 'cute'... renewed my determination to be an entreprenuer.... even if i'm going to prorastinate.

afterward we came home, talked scripts, and attitudes about sweaters which we loved and discarded, and she perfectly placed all the homemade ornaments, and there were a couple songs sung and a last ditch effort was made for marshmellow roasting. i ate an ear or 2 but peeps prove too sweet for me- i stuck to my chocolate, soaking all the warmth in-

and when i woke up in the morning, it was like everything was done, and the holiday was perfect- it seemed all clear after a cleansing rain- a new outlook, working out, and looking forward.

when i was young.

the day's best quote: "i assure you the cough isn't contagious- i'm just old and dying."

this woman was @ least 80+ big gnarled hands, tall, slightly hunched and sloping physique, white hair pulled back. it took some patience to understand her. bcs she spoke slowly as each second ticked by processing her thoughts, but she smelled like my great grandmother so i was willing to hang in there- she was passed off by one of my co-workers who thought when she was saying she "wanted a book from the period" meant a girl's period, or getting your period... instead of time period, when he put these books into my hand- about a "girls thing" i asked her uh, did you want these? she snickered and said, "hell no." i'm convinced she let the guy think whatever he wanted and was having a little fun with him. then she said after a while, well no use us both standing here trying to figure it out but i seemed hard pressed to leave her on such a indecisive note, so i showed her and told her about the american doll books, learned that the 'kid' went to montossori schools, that she got whatever she wanted, was damn bright and apparently so was the 'wife'... but she didn't want to spend too much, and she thought though louisa alcott was appropriate, found it awfully dull... i failed to suggest anything spicier except anne of green gables but there were no beautifully bound and illustrated copies to be had out there so she left with some old fashioned samantha paperdolls, which seemd to fit the bill... she said, well, i'd just be damn (couldn't quite think of the word) damn, happy... maybe? tickled, privilaged or plum-full-over- if she'd gotten a doll like that when she was young or a house to play with, just damn.... lost in thought... something. and i'd wished there'd been some chairs or a spell to ask her all about it, but then "miss, is there... do you have, work here, could you... " and the laborious day passed.

in the winter, all the trees are bare...

...particularly if you are named penelope and claim to maintain constant vigilance over all things banking. Worse if you claim to be good at it. It's just another $105 in NSF fees down the drain. And I take full responsibility, as always, but seriously? I'm quite aggravated with Wachovia at the moment and am considering a bank change. It's highly suspicious, the way they order charges--$20 for gas doesn't appear on the bankroll all weekend, nor on Monday, we are totally in the clear, and then on Tuesday, oh--there it is! Conveniently (for The Man) placed before 3 nominal charges for a movie ticket and a burger and something else equally stupid, so instead of one ping for the $20, it's ping ping ping for the other 3, which up until this point were fine. Oh and then there's the check I deposited yesterday, which the teller put into the wrong checking account (she didn't ask, and why would she even put it into the account rarely used? but she did), and because it was at the window it will post tonight at midnight, whereas, if I had gone around to the ATM, it would have posted straight away and in the correct account. And yes, would have effectively covered the "overdrafts." Except for the order of charges thing. And it totally benefits the company, totally rapes the consumer. One time, this CSR lady yelled at me on the phone bcs it was Wachovia who has to cover the amount, so it's Wachovia that gets the shaft in an NSF scenario. Okay, duly noted, but $35 a pop? Ludicrous. Absurd. Downright effing criminal. Because as soon as money's deposited, it's the NSF is covered by the consumer, and Wachovia walks away $35x3 richer. We walk away $35x3 poorer, which sorta makes me want to cry, because the check I deposited yesterday, piddly as it was, was something I earned, on my own. It was my own little slice of bacon that I brought home, and now it has been effectively absorbed, eaten for breakfast with a hearty, snarky belch by the nefarious institution that is Wachovia. And yes, I know, it's really my bad for skirting so close always to the NSF line, but STILL.

So friends, if there's a bank you like, please post in the comments. I haven't made up my mind, as it's a complete pain to switch, and really aren't they all terrible? But maybe there's a better option...

SURVIVOR FINALE PREVIEW SPECTACULAR!

Bye-bye, Parvati... did you ever really have a chance?

So, ladies and gentleman, tonight is the night. Has there ever been a Survivor Finale that started out with five contestants instead of four? I believe it's a first. The commercials have promised three tribal councils tonight, the first of which will off Adam, unless he happens to win immunity. The Immunity Challenge, however, would have to involve something other than balance, endurance, or any skill that a monkey would have, such as the ability to hang off a tree limb from now until the end of eternity. Basically, Ozzy seems to be a shoo-in for all future challenges. The way he won the last Immunity Challenge was amazing, but in that way that put everyone else to shame. He made the tasks look easy, and made the others look like fools, pretty much, with the possible exception of Yul.

If it came down to Yul and Ozzy in the Final Two, which for some reason I don't think will happen, I'm not sure who I would root for. Because even though I'm half skeptical and annoyed of the way Yul is so up-front about stuff, the straight-shooter in him--and the fact that he still hasn't been even close to voted off because of it--makes me kind of admire him even more. Plus, he seems genuinely to me like a nice guy. Not that Ozzy doesn't. They're both fantastic physical and mental players, but not in a boring way. Like Colby--love Colby...but he was kind of boring in the Outback, no? I mean, other than his disdain for Jerri Manthey, that was enjoyable.

For the Final Two, what do we think? When it gets down to the Final Four and Five, of course immunity has such a huge impact. I see Adam as the first to go unless something really odd happens. Then... Sundra? I feel the second Ozzy fails to win immunity, if that happens, he will be voted out. As J.Lo commented, Becky's Bitch Flag is starting fly when it comes to Ozzy and his apparently mutant strain of Survivor Genes. And though Yul is the Puppetmaster and everyone knows it, I see Becky maintaining her loyalty to him over Ozzy. Mainly because she could potentially take Yul in a challenge over Ozzy. The last person I expect to win this game would be Sundra, mainly because more than anyone, she's ridden coattails. Becky, as previously discussed, appears to ride coattails, but obviously is a smart cookie. It would depend, however, on the jury's perception--will they have noticed how many strings she actually pulled along the way? She is an attorney, so maybe her answers in a Final Two showdown will win her the bucks.

Pen's picks for the win:
1) Yul--Has a better chance than Ozzy, politically, for making the Final Two, and once there, the way he's played the game up until that point will speak for itself.
2) Ozzy--As Becky pointed out, it's like he was made for this game.
3) Becky--I'm still *eh* on Becky. She's all right, I guess. Maybe if she pulled off a coup early in the finale, and brought her, Adam, and Sundra to the Final Three? Not likely, but if she thinks about it, wouldn't her chances to win increase? I might pull for her, then.
4) Adam--Very unlikely, but if he got as far as the Final Two, it would be most impressive.
5) Sundra--What has she really done, anyway. Nice lady, sure, but overall in the world of Survivor? She's flown under the radar and not much else.

making Buddy Elf proud

snowflakes!!! by pen

uttered from the goth-ish chick behind me in line at *gasp* wal-mart

re: K.Lo and, we suppose, all of mankind

"Isn't it amazing how priceless people are as babies, and how worthless they become as adults?"

tiny annoyances in the hormonal mind of penelope

bathroom: tiny spots of mildew on walls, rust on the shower baskets. next time will rustoleum/treat paint for molds, but in the meantime--who has the money or time to redo?

also: still haven't cleaned bathroom. just the shower. which is already looking funkified again.

temporarily this morning: lost belt. like, how do you lose a belt. there are only so many places a belt can go.

found belt: in a place i had already looked twice.

black dog: muddy paws, tracks into kitchen. brown dog: no muddy paws. makes me suspect evil-doing of yardian nature by black dog.

christmas shopping: done, but--where is everything? silent curses to amazon and lure of free super-saver shipping. imagine self wrapping in last-minute frenzy next week for hours on end.

coming up daisies

right, blogging. back to that... the list, abandonment and completion of said list is still dominating my life as each day tics by... tree not done, 1 strand of lights outside, table not done, bathroom, everything sort of undone, laundry, my bed, photos, paintings, sidewalk...dayplanner conversion from '06 to '07 not done. possibly so glad to be trashing '06 and moving on (though it was better than '05) and moving on to '07... i don't want to go thru all the birthdays. i decide who stays and who goes. though i usually have an ironclad memory for even people i don't like- the neglectful and remiss don't deserve a space- do they? it's the same reason i don't clutter my phone with a list of numbers. it pains me to runacross people i don't call or more importantly they don't call me... even emails- if there wasn't a favorites list i might just delete like crazy... even if there's magic in the mass email or even the 'i haven't heard from you in a year 1/2 email...' i don't like to be reminded.

this morning i was reading 'chew on this'... which is the kids version of 'fast food nation' and i regret being reminded of the atrocity of processed food- not just mc'ds... bcs even dannon grinds up tiny bugs to color their yogurt- i was reminded of the mc'job i have. they went on and on about low balling wages, denying benefits and on and how the big eats up the small-- and the reality is the book that i'm reading in the bookstore i'm working is supporting the mc'chine just as much. for all it's touting the evils of one thing it was there being sold in another- so everything is tainted and there will always be a whistfulness for what was or could be... next i'm going to read 'rich dad, poor dad' for kids, maybe gain some encouragement or something from that... the way they simplify things in the kids section is somewhat refreshing... it's a wonder the things you can learn about pee or even houdini... i mean it would be great if pee smelled like roses but i'm not going to drink turpentine to do it.

what about brian's hair?

Dear Barry Watson,

I do like your latest show, What About Brian, currently airing Monday nights, 10 PM, on ABC. I like most of the characters, even though yours in particular is kind of selfish and whiny, and well, Deena's is too. And Adam's. And where the hell is Marjorie? JJ Abrams, are you too busy with LOST to remember that Marjorie is still in the credits, and we haven't seen so much as a glimpse of her since the wedding debacle? Character development for absentee characters is welcome, I'm just saying...

Anyway, Barry, let's please talk about your hair. I don't think this picture quite conveys what's happening in the back, which frankly is verging on a mullet. And mullets are not good, Barry Watson. I mean, if you have to go a little long, I guess that's fine... Not my favorite look for you, to be honest, but you do what you have to do. Just, about the back: choppy choppy, okay? It's quite distracting, and I am strongly considering fast-forwarding through your scenes, which would leave me with all of 10 minutes of show. Thanks.

xo,
penelope

but who will take andrae to the red lobster?

Reading the latest issue of EW, I discovered some disturbing news about future production of Project Runway. Possibly no Tim Gunn? Wha??!! I will be so upset.

All I can say is, get it together, people. Make it work!

just a sidebar

done -finish fabric circle garland
done mostly-get dec's out of box
uh, -put up lights
no,-decorate tree
totally -finish watching ghostbusters
done -clean up mess cat knocked over
sure -go to church
loved every minute, the smell, the fresh clean something-go outside to ponder rain
done.-lunch
agh.done.-pay bills
no, -laundry?
absolutely -tv,tv,tv
still-i love the stay-puft marshmellow man.
tomorrow-definitely return shoes.
several times already-do not cross the streams
no, completely dire -do not spend so much money.

billowing sails on sparkling tufts

with us
in the wake
it is warm
and wild

you inside
and i
out.
step forward to a
promintory.

it builds
cold shadows behind
track time

the wind takes
the air expands
and i am
fixed
on the horizon

to sparkling waters,
this---.
boat, this building.

farther from shore,
a flight.
to relaxing calm.
it is hard to reach you.

to sync as the
waters chop
to not flail and
find ourselves.

we, us,
together-
all these many years.

the source of my guilt--eureka!

Now I know exactly where it came from--the Island of Misfit Toys! As discussed in the Weird 6, I used to feel very guilty as a child about stuffed animals, like if I ever left one out of the goings-on, or if I ever considered giving one away? The feeling would haunt me in my dreams. Still to this day I have a monkey named Ben in my closet with scratched eyes and a cotton-bleeding torso, as well as Ziggy and Zaggy, the space creatures that are so worn they have furless patches and limp litle arms. And I just know if I sent them off into the world of donations, they would be chucked. I would feel forever sad.

Anyway--I swear it all came from the Island of Misfit Toys. The Rudolph special, which I love with all of my heart, essentially confirmed my deepest childhood suspicions that toys have feelings. And if you don't love them, they sit around and cry, absolutely heartbroken. My favorite character in all of Rudolphland was and continues to be the Charlie-in-the-box. Because no child wants to play with a Charlie-in-the-Box! he says, grief-stricken. I always felt like I could relate, too, to the Island's inhabitants, like that little something about me that us *off* deterred the masses from thinking I was special. It's why I'll never be famous--I'm a misfit, forever and ever, though at least by now I know to be proud.

can't wait

This chilly Friday evening, while J.Lo is freezing his arse off at volleyball, I will be settling down to watch an old favorite show, Popular. Did anyone else watch Popular? It was on in 1999 and lasted for 2 seasons, another brilliant but cancelled series, this one about high school cliques. The show was created by Ryan Murphy, and maybe it's this current season of Nip/Tuck--which is not that great, relatively--that made me nostalgic all of a sudden for the off-the-wall world of Kennedy High. It was completely snarky, envelope-pushing, etc, in the manner of N/T, but obviously not so dark... no one's kidneys were stolen, anyway. I've Netflixed the first CD of the first season and plan to make my way through the entire series, despite that I hate to relive the disappointment of its premature end. I really hope it's as good as I remember it.

retail do'

the list will most likely expand but here's some top don'ts when you yourself enter or shop at a national retail/book/store/chain/place of business...

DON'T:

• don't ask, "do you work here?" (when a name tag and or walkie talkie system is strapped to said individual. obvi, i do... otherwise i'd be quickly walking away from you with a grimace. and now you're just wasting my time.)
• don't say, but "it's really popular?!" or "he's really famous, he did all the..."(like hello, i haven't heard of everything in the world, thanks for making me feel like 1. i don't know everything and have thus failed at my job 2. you know more than i do which hello, you don't.)
• don't steal. i mean sure a little klepto problem when you're a kid, okay... but do you have to continue to make a ghetto living at it with your bulky coats and gym bags and bringing your nasty thievery into the kids section... where apparently all the vil people go to try to get away with anything from theft to reading porn.
• don't chew, smack, slurp while within a foot of my ear, and asking me to search something for you. you think this would be obvious but at least twice a day this grotesque display is being perpetrated on people i know and myself... i should not be able to smell the gum you are chewing nor look to see that you have in fact finished your ice-blended mocha. assholes.
• don't ask me to do all your research for you. it's called the internet. if you don't have a title maybe look up a few before calling or coming in. laaaazy.
• don't call me asking for multiple titles ... you might as well ask amazon- we own them anyway.
• don't nest in the section- leaving your crumpled up napkins, empty cups and various magazines, books... especially in the section they don't belong. you... you... scourge of society!

ciao for now, and be good to the suckers (myself included) making minimum wage.

THE SHOW IS FIXED!!!

whatever melrose's issues are... okay, she needs to relax but come on!! how did she lose over caridee?! fucking ridiculous. fucking-ridiculous... i may have to stop watching in protest. clearly there's a trend of insanity here and bad executive producer decision making. suck-S. i mean seriously... horrible. how?

my tree! (and my bug.)

They make me happy.

common sense rebel

Despite many warnings in both the media and the blogosphere, and despite several posts in the past containing back-and-forth "must drink water" mentions between m and I (which I'm too lazy to locate in the archives at the moment), I continue daily to not drink enough water. Or even liquids in general. There was a time, I feel it was right before I became pregnant with K.Lo? I drank 64 ounces of water, or the proverbial 8 glasses, a day. It was easy to do, as I filled up a 24-oz marked plastic container 3 times. I still have the container and could do the same now. But will I? No, no I will not. And I never felt better than when I was drinking all that water. You eat less, when you drink a bunch of water. And sure, you pee more, but what's wrong with peeing. And most importantly, you feel hyrdrated. You feel good.

It's that time of year where it feels kind of dry anyway, because it's cold out (yay finally!), and inside, the heat is on. And despite the use of various hand lotions, body lotions, and chapsticks, I feel I may crumble sometimes into a little dusty heap. I especially dislike the feeling of dry hands, and chapped lips. It's yucky. So why every morning do I tell myself that by the end of the day, I will have caught up on my water intake, I will make the effort to do what is clearly the healthiest for a human body, and then I don't.

When I was pregnant--a time where it's even more important than usual to hydrate--I all of a sudden was revulsed by water and it's non-flavor. What are you going to do. But now I'm fine with water. Water is pretty, it's tasty, and also very conveniently dispensed on the face of our fridge. What the hell is the deal then? In the meantime, I'll be checking the mirror periodically to make sure my lips are still there, as presently I cannot feel them.

yah-but. no-but.

it finally happened. no, not that. chirstmas. i feel it. why i feel it necessary to feel christmas i know not. but its like embracing the seasons. also it's sentimental. which i have issues with. i really need to investigate the idea of sentiment and why i'm so against it but i am. but just not an hour ago as i was thinking of things to put on my retail do's and don'ts blog i was making ginger-bread ornaments and while emptying the 1/4 part crisco into the bowl with the 1/2 packed brownsugar, my lips contured into something like a smile, more a side smile, with the left having the more dominant upward trend. but there it was, that feeling nonetheless. it helped that tony bennet was singing some christmas song that wasn't longing for new york or snow... and the making of the merry ornament men (and possibly small hearts) but ingredients don't a feeling make- somehow they mixed though- possibly bcs of the inhalation of ground cinammon and cloves but whatever it was... here it resides.

curio

it's unday morning and i'm watching a rerun of "Road Trip" on tbs.(may i say i hate loud smacking lip sounds on movies). things on the docket today are church and christmas decorations. a few curious things have happened to me since my last post- i had a cd literally fly out the window. granted i was on the freeway with the windows down, sort of that carefree ambivilance of youth and disregard for deafness and tangled hair, and then before you know it my 'best of maria callas' (opera singer) is rolling out of its slot and out it goes- the fuck!? and then yesterday i literally moved a ton of mulch. and it didn't cover my entire yard. which means bcs of my OCD that i must again demand we go to the mulch facility so that the yard will be covered like a steamy volcanic winter. but it's so essential. and how can you beat paying $14.62 for a ton of mulch. anyway in other news is: my debt and my job... both of which you'd think are heading for disaster but are, in reality, finding themselves livable even if not remotely flourishable?.. i've been in a low-grade compartmentalized panic about my impending student loans. i've run out of the 'economic hardship' option which i strung along for 3 years, thinking surely in that span of time i'd have a job that would have me well on my way to making that $60,000 seem a small amount. but no. so after staring blankly for a while i thought if not defer, clearly i'm in the 'forbear' category. and i spent another month avoiding that reality and sort of calmly looking at that $714 a month payment as something that i just couldn't do. but not that i didn't want to. i finally read the paperwork to find that i'm now eligible for debt-burden forbearance, hoping that in the next 3 years my economic situation will improve... right. and i can afford making payments and everything will be just fine.

and as for the job the check is painful but things are going along just fine. which makes me think i've compartmentalized that too so that i can tolerate it. that or i'm on my way to becoming a happier calmer person. mweh. who knows.

things i've got to do:
mulch
paint
xmas decs
presents?
istock
etsy
exercise
read
return shoes?
go to trader joes
minutae
learn french.

fantastic

I'm speechless. What is there to say, really? You can buy the tree!!!

goodbye, i'll miss you...

So last night on Survivor, Candice got the axe. I don't know why I even particularly like Candice, or why I think her and Adam together are cute, but I do. I felt sorry for her every time she was sent to Exile by the scorned Aitu, and by the fourth time, when Becky sent her in the middle of the auction, I felt I would have done exactly what Candice did: cry like a little girl. Anyway, though part of me hoped there was some possible way for the Parvati-Adam-Candice alliance to avoid being eaten up by the now-triumphant Aitu's, I think we all knew there was no avoiding it. That whole "Jonathan is Obnoxious" campaign, while valiant and possibly of consequence, seemed to be showcased merely for editing's sake. They have to make it look like someone else besides the poor sap on the chopping block actually has a chance of going home. Dramatic tension and all. Which is fine... But what about Yul revealing at the auction that he has the hidden immunity idol? I like Yul, I think he's a fine guy, a good person, likable, hard-worker, etc. And he's got strategy and game, no doubt. But I'd rather have seen him hold his cards tighter to his chest on this one. Though I enjoyed seeing the look on Parvati's face when Yul basically confirmed all Jonathan was telling her earlier--Yul has the immunity idol, and the vote for him last tribal council would have fallen back on me--I think it was kind of unwise. Yul has shown himself to be calling the shots with the Aitu's for some time now, and maybe the other 3 (plus Jonathan) have it in the back of their mind that when it gets down to the finals, Yul's gotta go, and quick, hidden immunity idol or no. Like, vote for him already and knock him down a few pegs. Make him play that powerful hand before it becomes the Yul parade, where everyone's sole purpose will be to just usher the guy into the top 2, and without a doubt, the mil. Why else bother going on Survivor, if you're not going to try like hell to get the cash. Although, maybe the other Aitu's are smarter than the editing crew is letting on, just yet. I hope so, not just for the players' sakes, but for the rest of the season's sake. It's soooo boring when there are no coups.

By the way, now that we know more about her, how weird is it that Parvati in real life is a boxer?

In other reality tv news, the other twin, Amanda, was sent home from Spain this week, and I am sad. I loved the twins. I wanted the twins to win. I wanted there to be an ANTM first where they picked two winners, and the twins would be them. I think they were a little too young, Amanda in particular a little too tentative. But I looooved their photos. I also just loved watching the whole twin dynamic play out. Now we're left with Melrose, whom I still kind of love, but who is starting to look slightly crack-addicted in her megawatt enthusiasm. Eugena's personality is coming out more, and as a character she's more likable now instead of just *blah*, but looking back at her portfolio, not so much impressed. And Caridee, I can forgive your mortifying faux pas with Nigel, the whole stick up his ass comment, because we all make mistakes, and yours being on national TV had to especially smart, but... eh. I can't get a handle on Caridee. And without the twins, I'm frankly just not that invested anymore in the winner. Whoever wins is fine with me, but I'll be about as jazzed as when Danielle--er, "Dani"--won last season. I still think Joanie got the shaft.