but just enough

i've gotten 5 paper cuts at work all of which enduced bleeding and my full paycheck for 2 wks is still not barely even with what i made once a week at my cookie giving job. i am both simultaneously grateful for the cookie giving job and unable to muster more than a faint hint of chagrin- i mean i do mutter phrases like 'i have to get out of this job' or 'i have to find another job'... but i seem to be complacently bidding my time. i'm barely even demoralized. which is good for the holidays. when i remembered i had to go into work today and tomorrow not unlike Bob Cratchit, only a tiny wave of dread washed over me. and then i shrugged, and waited for the sun to come up.

and like everyone else i'm ticking off movies i've watched, like: scrooged, national lampoons christmas, charlie browns christmas, christmas story, the grinch who stole chrismas... and have hopes for watching things like: the ref, die hard, hercule poirots christmas and nightmare before christmas.

i even watched a lifetime movie per pen's suggest. and when i get home from laboring lightly around books for $8/hr i will turn on all the sparkly shiny things on the tree and stare off into space. and maybe watch another movie, but not read a book, no not that.