retail do'

the list will most likely expand but here's some top don'ts when you yourself enter or shop at a national retail/book/store/chain/place of business...

DON'T:

• don't ask, "do you work here?" (when a name tag and or walkie talkie system is strapped to said individual. obvi, i do... otherwise i'd be quickly walking away from you with a grimace. and now you're just wasting my time.)
• don't say, but "it's really popular?!" or "he's really famous, he did all the..."(like hello, i haven't heard of everything in the world, thanks for making me feel like 1. i don't know everything and have thus failed at my job 2. you know more than i do which hello, you don't.)
• don't steal. i mean sure a little klepto problem when you're a kid, okay... but do you have to continue to make a ghetto living at it with your bulky coats and gym bags and bringing your nasty thievery into the kids section... where apparently all the vil people go to try to get away with anything from theft to reading porn.
• don't chew, smack, slurp while within a foot of my ear, and asking me to search something for you. you think this would be obvious but at least twice a day this grotesque display is being perpetrated on people i know and myself... i should not be able to smell the gum you are chewing nor look to see that you have in fact finished your ice-blended mocha. assholes.
• don't ask me to do all your research for you. it's called the internet. if you don't have a title maybe look up a few before calling or coming in. laaaazy.
• don't call me asking for multiple titles ... you might as well ask amazon- we own them anyway.
• don't nest in the section- leaving your crumpled up napkins, empty cups and various magazines, books... especially in the section they don't belong. you... you... scourge of society!

ciao for now, and be good to the suckers (myself included) making minimum wage.