weeding, by pen

I know you all think I watch TV ALL the time, considering my pen’s picks posts for Fall Fare, among others. But it’s so not true. Because I’m pretty picky these days. My low-capacity DVR’s only at 30% for heaven’s sake. And, from the September list, here’s what’s already gotten the axe:

One Tree Hill. And that’s after several fairly devoted seasons! It was the Crazy Nanny plot that did me in.

Fringe. J.Lo likes it, but we still haven’t gotten the DVR set up right for it. He’ll have to catch up on Hulu, or something, and from there he’s on his own.

90210. I know! M will be so proud. They all but took out the snarky grandma whose house they live in, and while I enjoy some of the actors, and catching up with the old crew, I’m mostly bored. Where’s the edge. Why do the new kids fit in so damn well. Why are they so self-confident? It’s perplexing, and disappointing. Sure, sure, I admire their spunk, but where’s the fear and self-loathing that make up a good teen drama?

Worst Week. I don’t even think I mentioned it originally. It’s like Meet the Fockers, except it won’t ever end. Can’t handle the uncomfortable-ness week after week.

And then, from the October list, we’re barely into the month, and I have very low expectations for Kath & Kim, based on some pretty sad reviews.

I do however, love The Ex List, already, and of course the old standbys: HIMYM, Office, Survivor, Amazing Race. ANTM, ProRun, and Gossip Girl. Grey’s. Life!! It’s so good. And Earl has relocated its mojo. I’m teetering with Privileged as well as Top Design, but we’ll see. SNL has been pretty good, and I’m looking forward to the Thursday specials. But, you know. That’s about it for the shows. Oh, Two and a Half Men and NAOOChristine made the cut as well, but I wouldn’t lose any sleep if the DVR glitched during their time slot.

It’s a cutthroat world if you’re living in my DVR. Please discuss your own INs and OUTs in the comments!

fan-tizzy-tastic, by pen

So now, in addition to exercise, I need to start eating better, too? WTF. All I know is, I’ve been working out 4 days a week for maybe 5 weeks now, getting in my cardio requirements as well as strength training, and that stinking scale has.not.budged. Not one iota. All right, it did budge, a few weeks ago, when I gained two pounds. Motha.

When I look in the mirror, it appears as though I have slimmed down some, and I do seem to have some more muscle tone overall, and yes, yes, I know muscle weighs more than fat, yadda yadda, but hell. Some concrete benefits to this whole “wellness” bullshit would be super. I want numbers, people, smaller numbers!

So logic tells me I need to eat less chocolate, and possibly more fruits and vegetables? And maybe quit snacking so much, especially at night? Logic is not my friend. Logic can suck it, Trebek.

I’ll be sulking in the corner, pondering this whole “working for you want” racket.

Haul, by pen

Last night I went to the Famous Library Book Sale, this time all hard-core. I paid my $15 (tax-deductible) to join the Library Friends and therefore gain advance entrance. It was worth it. Amidst a crowd of box-lugging, wheelie-suitcase toting shoppers, I filled my bag* with:

1. A bunch of Boy Books for Scott. They’re the written equivalent of action movies. You know what I’m talkin bout.

2. Hardcover versions of Harry Potter 1 & 3 (I just need 2, now).

3. Reading Lolita in Tehran

4. The Memory Keeper’s Daughter

5. The Time Traveler’s Wife (LOVE it.)

6. Perks of Being a Wallflower

7. The Secret Life of Bees

8. Lucky

9. Red Tent

10. We Thought You Would Be Prettier

I have no room to spare on my bookshelves for these new adoptees, and a whole slew of books from previous book sales I hadn’t even gotten to yet. But I find it completely exhilarating, the LBS, kind of like Christmas. And I’ll get to them all eventually, especially now that I’ve been on a more intense reading streak of late. I’m kind of like the old-old me, with that, rather than the old me. Does that make any sense? Bah. I don’t have time to dissect, I have books to read!

*My bag, a heavy-duty paper one with rope handles from Eddie Bauer, fared so well for the duration of the sale, only to break 10 yards from the checkout, spilling my haul everywhere. Of course it did. I expect nothing less when in public. Clearly next time I’ve got to go canvas.

SPINE, by pen

Spine Novels! As m said, it’s a totally cool exercise we’ve been working on, and you should try it! Because it’s super-fun. Have a look at your bookshelf and see if you can create your own “story” of sorts based on the titles, or spines, alone. Here’s what I came up with:

I've got... a strangely coherent list, followed by the Smut Novel that makes me laugh out loud, and then One-Words.

1. Things You Should Know
Where the Sidewalk Ends
Do the Windows Open?
How to do Things Right
The Secret History
Listening is an Act of Love

2. Sleeping Alone
Boy Meets Girl
Enchanted Night
Strip Tease
Sideways
The Hours
Licks of Love
The Wonder Spot
Oh!
Kiss & Tell

3. Smashed
Naked
Cruddy
Stiff
Despair
Demonology
Angels
Eclipse

Today I, by M

feel like this gelatinous ball filled with sparkly bits of sunlight, that swirls when I move. The right bit of me is in this direct bit of sun though and it's getting really hot, but the rest of me is in this nice cool spot, where I can more effectively sparkle. If I can maneuver myself into that clear tub of water it'd be magical, but I'm entirely too far away.

SPINE, by M

In the secret writing group we've taken on an exercise I think you should all give a try. It's sort of telling? Maybe? I don't know. I have a lot of books so probably not as telling as it could be... that or I'm reading for my own bit of espionage.

The Warden,
The Captive and the Fugitive
INTERIOR Castle:
Good Morning, Midnight.
Chasing Vermeer...
Blood Ties...
Theft...
The Stone Diaries...

STOP-TIME.

Carpe Diem!

How Then Should We Live?
The Jaguar Smile.
Under the Volcano
Enjoying the Presence of God
Within A Budding Grove

A Void
FOE
The Patagonian Express
Of Human Bondage

Hard Times
Shadow of the Wind
The Towers of Trebizond
Bitter Grounds

'Rouse Up O' Young Men
Trinity
The Old Man & The Sea
The AWAKENING

The Unquiet Mind
CHAOS
Radios,
The Mind of the Maker

The Last Word:
ORLANDO.

Today I, by M

feel like a small dragon, red, with iridescent features, fire breathing, who has developed an allergy. So I am sitting by this small pond, sneezing and my eyes are watering. And all the other dragons are circling overhead in the bright blue sky. I squint uptowards them admiringly, but end up laying down and wilting a daisy instead.

Today I, by M

feel like a goldfish cracker that's dissolving in little water ring that's been left on the table. But oddly, I have just seen glitter rain from the sky.

your guide to OCTOBER fare, by pen

Here’s what I’ll be adding to my DVRroll. Whether or not they’ll work out remains to be seen.

1. The Ex List, Oct. 3. Stars “Ava” or Whatever-Her-Face from Grey’s Anatomy.

2. Samantha Who?, Oct. 6, if there’s room.

3. Kath & Kim, Oct. 9. The crazy, AbFab-looking one with Selma Blair and Molly Shannon.

4. SNL: Weekend Update Thursday, Oct. 9. Will air 3 eps, all about the election, I think.

5. My Own Worst Enemy, Oct. 13. The one with Christian Slater. This might be a J.Lo show.

6. Crusoe, Oct. 17. Badass tree house living!

7. Stylista, Oct. 22. The reality show that’s all ANTM meets Devil Wears Prada, or something like that. I’m sure it will be terrible, and that I’ll love it even more because it’s terrible.

8. 30 Rock!, Oct. 30.

 

You might also be interested in:

1. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS, Oct. 1. But only for the DirectTV-subscribing elite. What kind of crap is that, I ask you.

2. Dirty Sexy Money, Oct. 1, which now also stars Lucy Liu.

3. Pushing Daisies, Oct. 1. Do not sweat me about not watching this show yet.

4. Ghost Whisperer, Oct. 3

5. Numb3rs, Oct. 3.

6. The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Oct. 7. I just… can’t do it.

7. The Starter Wife, Oct. 10, now on USA. Ditto, about not being able to do it.

8. Eli Stone, Oct. 14.

9. The Sarah Silverman Program, Oct. 16.

10. LC guest-starring on Greek, Oct. 28.

Oh, and—

11. America’s Stupidest Home Videos, Oct. 5. If you must.

IN LEIU of...

Last night i had this weird dream that I was trying to get to the LA Flower Market, and I was biking down there, talking to my cousin on the phone. Then while cutting thru a park I ran into my childhood friend's sister, who didn't recognize me at first, and she finally did and ran up before I left, and said, pray for me because my head is... and she was getting upset, and I nodded like I understood, about how she couldn't quite make quick connections. It took me a while to get out, bcs it was a maze of chainlinked fences, and I kept looking for a bucket, because I was completely unprepared to go to the Flower Market, and finally the girl that was with the sister and her friends, wanted to come with me thru the gate, but I pushed her back and gave her a crayon. Then I was in this beautifully gilted hallway that opened up into alcoves in rooms full of old books- think gold, wood inlay... and it was misting inside the rooms. And I thought all this mist is going to ruin the books, but I thought how odd and beautiful the mist is.... then there were these 2 girls. And I had to knock one unconscious, which I did with the end of an umbrella, a couple times because she kept waking up.... and the other girl and I ran off... onto another portion of the dream. That or my cat marley pawed my face and woke me up.

But what I was really going to blog about was, after 8 years of having plastic underwear drawers I finally freaked out and got a grownup vanity dresser- which I got in the as/is section at IKEA- the stain was this awful driftwood color with grey tones, which apparently they call "antique stain" so I stripped it, took off the hardware, restained it and the laquered it... hardware forth coming. For now, I just like the blank clean look-- and then having looked at the pic, I'm freaked out by the clutter, but there's nothing I can do about that right now. Then I went over to my friend Joanna's- and she had the same style of dresser but in desk form-- and it didn't look as hideous as my dresser.... but now, it beautifully shines. It's good to own a hand sander, stain and laquer, bcs then you can brazenly buy expensive furniture and just say- eh, i'm gonna change it.