Odallaly! by M

Yah, still going to CENAM, checking stuff off my list and freaking out about things like mosquito nets and micro-fiber clothing. I have neither. For some reason things like deet and proper lightweight hiking shoes and an mp3 player have now become extremely important- now that travel insurance, plane tix and trip deposit are purchased. As if I have money left for such things. It's a wonder anyway and I'm sorry you'll be hearing about this for a while. It says in the "Birthday Book" that I don't handle financial affairs well and that i have scorn for such practical concerns, but more importantly it asserts that "Movement and travel of all sorts are important to those born on this day. Depression often overcomes [me] at a time of real or imagined unpopularity, especially when they feel stuck in one place or occupation..." so clearly what the "book" is saying is exactly what's happening. Right? Right. In other news I had a boring post about how I officially broke up with my trainer, like a coward and left a message for him, and then he retaliated and made it difficult for me when I started seeing someone else. But I deleted it. Yawn. Anywayz Jason and I are really happy together right now and it's totally going to work out- until I run out of sessions that is. Awkward. Though I do now want to be in peak me physical condition. That'd be nice. But it's not like I'm hiking to Macchu Picchu. As one work guy said, "um, youd have to start doing like, a lot of cardio."... I'm way lazier than that. Jason already had to use the phrase, "this is your last set, let's wrap it up, we don't have forever." Clearly. Jason. Clearly.

My life. My funds. My everything.

W just bought my dog a new leg.

We should get our rebate check next week. Originally, I flaked and thought for some reason the last 2 of the SSN in question was 09, but it's 99. So sad. But not really, because by now I would have had the thing spent, and that would have been bad. Because my dog, my Bender-dog, my B-dog Girl, needs to have surgery. She's been limping around for a few weeks now, not appearing to be in any pain, but clearly not using the one back leg. She's still running, playing, not wincing, which is why we waited to take her to the vet. You know they pretty much rape your wallet for making eye contact with your animal. And our wallet is scheduled to be dearly raped on Monday. The ligament that holds Bender's knee together is completely blown. The other back leg may not be long to follow. It's degenerative, nothing we could do. And she's less than half her life expectancy, only 5 1/2 years old, so of course we are going to fix her. The poor thing. She's not going to move the same again, but hopefully will respond well to the surgery. Which is the "cheap" surgery. At $1,100. So, um, thanks W. Consider this our little contribution to help recharge the economy. And our dog. 

airy-fairy naval-gazing that you should totally partake in

M and I have been discussing moon and rising signs. Previously, I didn't know mine, but was super-curious, about what it was and what it all means. And actually, I didn't really know what moon signs were all about at all, so I didn't even consider. But it's super-cool, guys! Okay, so SUN sign is what you usually tell people you are, based solely on your birthday. It's your soul (I'm quoting from the web snippet m sent me), "your inner personality and potential." Then the MOON sign is "your heart... your emotional core." The RISING SIGN is what you present to the world, or your mask. 

I'm a Pisces fish, with Cancer moon and Sagittarius Rising. This assessment is all very enlightening to me. I'd copy and paste what it all means, but I suspect you'll be less interested in my profile than your own. BUT, for kicks, I will include K.Lo's, because it's just... all so very true. It explains so much. 

K.Lo, in Astrological Terms:

AQUARIUS SUN

You will ascend rapidly into the a captivating spot light. With an appetite for fame, you will make some exceptional power plays. Avoid any signs of an ultimatum as your eccentric genius gets center stage. You will be characteristically unpredictable, and as you live life in the fast lane your social calender will sizzle with exciting activity. 

You are idealistic, with strong likes and dislikes. You are a thinker with strong needs for originality. You also tend to view the world in an unconventional light. You are often determined, cautious, quiet, as well as philosophical. Others often perceive you as refined, pleasant and generous. You have radical ideas that are looked upon as eccentric.

AQUARIUS MOON

Impatient, ambitious, vigorous, stubborn and full of energy. They take their decisions "on a gut level". They are happy, optimistic, and positive and can give impulse to their environment. Mostly they dispose of excellent management qualities and with their ambition and energy they go far. They have a tendency towards impatience and they easily get bored with routine tasks. They permanently seek new challenges and adventures. If they do not succeed the first time, they may react with anger, but then they begin the next project. They easily upset their fellow human beings, because they do not only express their positive feelings immediately and don't let off steam. Sorrow, suffering and anxieties they hide from themselves and from others; they should learn to admit also these feelings and to live them.

ARIES RISING

You are an interesting mix of introspective and outlandish. Waving your freak flag high, you really do things your own way. While you may seem distant, you care very deeply for humanity. You just have no tolerance for fools, slackers, or dullards. And while you're fairly misanthropic, many are drawn to you. Innovative and clever, people look to you for new ideas and trends.

What a firecracker! Boy, am I in trouble. As if I didn't already know. 

So, find your MOON and RISING SIGNS, and post them in the comments! We need to screen our readers, clearly, and understand what we're dealing with. 

Weird Facts Wednesday

See I told you I'd forget. Thanks mom.

Just for you: Sharks pee through their skin, and they smell heavily of ammonia when they're dead. Also Horses can kick with a force equal to 1ton of pressure. For instance a small colt, can bend a quarter in 1/2 quite easily with a play kick.

Conditions

I barely passed my french test last night. I can only assume I have some sort of senioritis. Because nothing can induce me to focus or give a crap. It has to be correlated to the increase of blooming activity outside, and oh those sacred blue skies, and yah, my trip. I was deadset on working out last night but then suddenly as I was slumped over in my squeaky desk I said, No fucking way. I went to the Shell station, bought an extra crispy kitkat and a bag of sourcream potato chips and went thru the car wash crunching down and blaring the music. I went home and glanced at the clock, saw the digits beating down on me and thought, fuck it, I'm going to bed. 10pm. Deadgone to the world. I woke up at 8, wondered, what the fuck. Shuffled around and got ready for work. Found a new bag of apples and oranges on the counter, didn't even wonder how they got there. Just took one and kept on going. Went outside and saw my car completely wet and rinsed as if I'd forgotten to go thru the dry portion of the drivethru wash. Did I? How was that possible? When did it rain? Where the fuck am I... I proceeded to work anyway, against all the signs that pointed otherwise.

Today I feel like a sturdy 11x14 piece of paper on a small brightly colored table. There are cups of even more brightly colored paints. If I had eyes I would be shifting apprehensively. As it is a breeze lifts the left corner of the paper and then it settles back down again...

Who Me?

Now look, I'm fairly convinced, Pen is just the more active part of my imagination and that when I go she will go on in unmatched brilliance, wit and general shenanigans. For instance, case in point, she has a husband and kids. Just yesterday I went onto her other site and was faced with the reality that she was doing things and existing in a way I hadn't even imagined- I mean for one, they were all grouped there together looking like a family! What is that about I ask you! That was not in the original concept plans of Penelope. She has this whole 'nother life. Clearly she's become sentient, so what I can do but retaliate and have adventures without her. Weirdly, most times, I imagine her not so very far away, like in my mind, and then when she's there, she's very close, and then some word, or mental picture will break through and then I think, aw, sad. It's almost like finding out there won't be Christmas or your birthday plans were canceled. But I envy her sentient life, all comings and goings and family tidings, so what else can I do, but live boldly with a dash of reckless abandon. Otherwise these days at the desk stretch to infinity and I become fixed, immobile and a little stir crazy. But I don't want to take all the good people that comprise my world for granted, like mom and the blog nation and the paycheck and my own penelope. I will make my way to you, and you will always matter.

meanwhile

The entire soundtrack of Annie plays continuously in my head, bits and pieces of "Easy Street," commingled with "We've got Annie!" and "Little girls, little girls, every day I eat sleep and breathe them." I'm trying to convince myself that a handful of chopped-up cashews won't totally destroy the butterscotch brownies baking in the oven. And I ponder the Big Question, the Real Matter at Hand: What am I going to do for 28 days without mendacious? 

Oh sure, you say, she's living her dream and all. Scratching that travel-bug itch that's been nagging at her for several years now. And several years it's been--we've passed the "three" mark, so I can officially say "several"--since mendacious and I have been face to face. We live over 3,000 miles away. But whatever, she is totally abandoning me! I ask you, how am I supposed to hold down the blog front for that long. How can I singlehandedly uphold the legend that is penelope and mendacious? 

Sure, she says she's going to seek and use the Internet wherever and whenever it is available, but we all know that she will be staying in a one-room hut with a dirt floor, and will be lucky to hunt down the local shaman, to whom she'll have to fork over a fiver every two minutes while he pretends to divine what's happening over here in the USA. 

She's cutting us off, guys. Rainforests, ruins, volcanoes and beaches, my foot. Mendacious is going on vacay to like, see and experience the world or whatever? But she's really just forcing us all into a 28-day program of a different kind. 

M, I hope you are able to sleep at night! You have seven whole months to think about what you did. 

Oh yeah, and I am happy for you. I guess. 

Poutily yours, 

pen

P.S. You may be able to make it up to me someday, should you continue to invite me on adventures until such time that I can actually go with you. Which granted, may be 40+ years from now, but I'm prepared to hobble alongside you in foreign, magical lands. 

PURCHASED

Well, quel surpris, surpris! I did the unthinkable. After 3 years of hems/haws, wistful sighs and pouty lips I put a deposit down, bought travel insurance and put a plane ticket on hold. HOLY CRAP. Now I may need to get a little parttime/worknights/weekends gig to not completely devestate my creditcard paying down progress but phew. Here I go!

Central America: Antigua, Copan, Granada, Ometepe, Monteverde, San Jose... basically 28 days and 4 countries. Rainforests, ruins, volcanos, beaches... I don't now if it can possibly live up to any of that at all really, except for the inevitable fact that those places actually exist. But here's to hoping for a goodtime no matter what may come. You all are welcome to join me!

http://www.gapadventures.com/tour/cgas
oh and it's like 7 months away. so pllleeennty of time! and at christmas and newyears... um.

New Place Same Job

I was paranoid that upon moving it would be declared that I was fired and there was no place for me. But when I walked into the office on friday I was surprised to find that my computer had made the transfer and that even better bob didn't have a desk and my computer was exactly where he wanted to be. That's life as a PA with a laptop. The positive of my situation is that I'm in the entryway. Behind us is the singledoor small hallway that lead to all the other offices. Everyone has to walk by, say good morning, compliment my painting later in the day, and envy that I'm not in the hellish din of racket going on in the writer/producer bullpins. The down sides are that I am not in the hellish din. I'm isolated and bob is gone 1/2 the time on runs and who knows what. So I'm actually even more isolated than I was before. But I hope that by being bold and bringing in my paintings, striking up some conversations and what not I'm a little bit better off, though by no means do I have any friends, because that would be too easy. But those cranberry walls- those are delicious.

sPLat

I've decided lately that the sound of SPLATS can never mean anything good. If I hear a splat, it is either:

*N.Lo yakking, said yak hitting the floor.
*K.Lo, having a pee accident, said accident hitting the floor. (I guess it's more of a "splash" than a "splat," but you get the picture.)
*Me painting, and I've splattered again. The splatter is typically followed by me stepping in it, tracking the paint everywhere.

Splats mean cleanup, a major decline in efficiency, and a general feeling of annoyance/discomfort/disorder. Monk would have a fit. The worst is when I have more than one possibility occuring at once; it happens more often than you might think.

Consider me ANTI-SPLAT, until we have moved on to the next phase of existence.