LL asked how i was to which i replied,

current things:
-fancy bras don't fit in small drawers. do i hang them? and wear. it's disturbing the equilibrium.
-is tazmanian honey really that magical?
-taking kitten to get shots
-ignoring calls from citibank (everymorning at 839 and sometimes in the afternoon)
-all the etsy 'featured' spaces are gone. why'd my mind tell me to go there? who want's seaweed? come on now!
-playing a ridiculous amount of online racing with the mariobrothers and crew
-waiting, waiting, waiting to hear about jeju island (tomorrow maybe?)
-getting started on 'the great divorce' and the 'good and beautiful God'
-noticed i have a rock collecting problem, as well as an inordinate amount of glasses.
-giving away 4 boxes worth of crapolla to goodwill. victory. goodbye barbie dolls but the garbage pail kids, ok, lets keep those. i didn't say i was logical.
-hit square in the nose by a box with a metal christmas stand in it last night (how i might likely die when i'm older due to fatigue and stupidity filed under: ladder, boxes, climbing)
-watching 2 shows about vampires- dark shadows (de classeee, from the 60's) and the korean soap 'vampire prosecuter' (as you know, will he avenge his sisters death and find the "man" who did this to him?!)
-absolutely resisting stillness - result: eating gf chocolate frosted cupcakes, carrots, lots of tea, mindlessly up late and staring into space doing nothing in particular... certainly not talking to God. i realized that this was the particular condition- if one doesn't want to be productive, or is depressed, but occupied? resolving? to?... uh, maybe i'll... zzzzzzzzzzz. que staring into space. ooo or maybe have some cinammon raisin toast. yes. and some tea. walking sounds like it's going to take a lot of energy. and so is all this sorting. i don't even know how i did it.
-zero remembered dreams, apparently done processing ;)
-raw milk cheese is pretty good
-thanksgiving, ok.
-got a smaller monthly calendar after 11 years. don't know if i'm ready for that kind of downsizing. and yet there it is. will i adjust. it's like everything's in miniature. why'd i go there?
-splitting cuticles
-
-new pillows
-christmas decs
-what hair removal product do i use? nads/nair/wax?
-i just sneezed
-it's 11:14pm
-74f.
-goodnight.

Last night, though i was tired and incoherent i tried to muscle up (into the attic) the last couple boxes and a smaller box and a metal christmas tree stand in a box until i misnegotiated up the ladder, fatally teetering, and the metal stand flew at my face and hit me square in the nose, and the smaller box came plummeting down in a barage of now splintered plastic bits and tinsel. The nose running, and eye watering began as i stopped everything, preemptively getting advil and a bag of frozen peas, neverminded the mess and went to watch 'vampire prosecuter'- a csi type procedural but with a guy who happens to be a vampire. It totally works.  (Will he avenge his sister's death, or find the thingthat did this to him in the first place!?)

Which reminds me, as i run the pad of my finger over the now very tender area that I meant to tell you about the other korean drama called "my lovely samsoon". The characters over the arc of 16 episodes went back and forth from Seoul to Jeju a few times, climbing the dormant volcano they have there, as well as some famously steep steps in Seoul. It absolutely taunted me all last month. Seoul or Jeju. Seoul or Jeju. I started watching it for signs, but came out undecided- they could've done a better job of highlighting the texture and attitude of each city but really failed to inform me about both except for the use of public transportation and that Samsoon and Hyun-Jin are going to have a long road ahead of them, since she is a rice cake bakers daughter and he is a rich hotel owner, and we can only hope that Hee-jin starts eating again. So really I'm back where I started except that Damon promises me he'll tell me one way or the other by wednesday- which for them is technically today. Did he mean today? Or did he mean my Wednesday? I mean either way. Well it's 4 am wed over there. I guess i can give them till 4pm my time which is 8am their time... i think.

Otherwise, yes, I cleaned out all my stuff from the attic. Managed to get rid of at least 4 bags worth of stuff. I was impressed with my resolve to simply be done and cleared of a lot of it. I have 1 stuffed animal box 1 keepsake box- and 4 grownup mendacious houseware boxes if she ever lives in a place that is her own. The debate is over the now 2-3 boxes of christmas items- do i put the glass ornaments in a box or keep them in a plastic bag in their own cardboard packaging? Is my compulsion for matching boxes, orderly stacked doing me in? Obviously some of them are too heavy. That is also the problem.  And now do i put the super heavy houseware boxes up in the attic? Or make room for them in the supply room? And some of them i shouldn't have unpacked in the first place. Except the one box where apparently i had left some triple sec? Which exploded into a hot oozing mess. Im glad i found that. These are the things i wonder about as i drift off to sleep- imaginary jobs, the ridiculousness of having all of this stuff in the first place... nevermind thanksgiving, and staying up till 12am to go shopping at kohls. Or my fancy new bras- which i actually must discuss with you. There's no room for them in the drawer that's full of the nowire cotton ones. I shouldn't have bought them anyway but they were half off and i thought new job, new bras right? I mean that is if in fact the job, whatever it is, is real and not imaginary. Only time will tell. I mean i really hope it's soon though. Mom can't afford to support me indefinitely. And my one uncle is too busy not accepting money for his site and my other is too busy ordering honey from tazmania and stuffing his mattress with gold. I know how that sounds. I love them to death. I get that they wouldn't even think of offering to pay for my gradschool debt since the one is too practical and the other thinks i should avoid the govt forever. I mean, i got myself into this mess in the first place but still... oh jeju, jeju.

Whatelse, whatelse?
m.
ps. found and am keeping the now empty box of jujubees you sent me post grad, something about thanks for the ... x and the 'kick in the back'... that's the part i remember. i would look but now it's in the keepsake box in the attic. is that why i like jeju, juju, jeju....

twinkle twinkle

I don’t know where the long holiday weekend (and preceding week) has (have) gone, as it all seems to be a blur of preparations and delicious food and lovely company. And a video chat, and a thoroughly exhausting Voldemart trip. And church, today. And it does appear that the house is relatively clean other than some unpacked holiday boxes, and things are beginning to look both bedecked and bedazzled. So whatever is done, I’m grateful for, because really in my state of Low Energy/Hormonal Spiral, I could have hid in a cave for several days, napping, and been happy. So long as I was provided with a comfortable sleeping bag. And a bag of chips with a side of queso, please.

The to-do list remains, but there’s less pressure in the week to come. And I have a deadline for one project, as requested by me and thusly imposed by you. Always give me a deadline, people! Because I am a latent getter-of-A-pluses, and even though I now taunt the must-get-done list with a detached, observatory air of so-what-if-I-don’t, a good solid deadline will ultimately egg me on, force me into action. So November 30 was the gauntlet you threw down and I’m throwing down the same one on myself for aa’s novel, since she was too nice to give me a deadline waybackwhen – even though I begged! Anyway, I’m more than halfway done and it’s fabulous and belongs on store and library shelves everywhere. She must finish writing it.

Have I said anything of consequence, really? Well here are a few twinkly preview pictures to appease. Until tomorrow -

lost

In the woods. And was this picture really worth it? I struggle without a DLSR. I’m limited. Only as good as my tool, right? I totally shouldn’t complain, because I do love my camera. But to capture the moon! An orange, nearly-full fireball moon over the river (and through the woods). Flanked by the leafless branches of late fall. Reflected in the strangely still water.

Okay, so it was worth it to get a closer look, even if my picture sucked. I walked straight down the trail as advised – but let’s note, why was I even advised in the first place? Does J.Lo really know me at all? Mwah. Obviously when I turned around I wouldn’t find my way back so easily. This is penelope here. I turned one way, and then the other and then back again. At one point I was close enough they spied my flashlight beam. But then I turned around again. Happened upon the cabins and boat dock. Pondered the possibility of leaving my human life for a vampire coven. The skills I would have. The gaping hole left in my vampire soul over having to leave the children behind.

Also, it would have sucked to have run across a possum or a skunk. Or a bear for heaven’s sakes.

Or to sleep outside with no blanket.

Or worry about anything past that. True survival skills and whatnot.

But I emerged eventually. No vampire bites. Muddy shoes. A bruised ego. And nothing left of my earlier beer buzz, but we amended that quickly with some scotch and blue vodka. And campfire light.

an unfinished letter pen,

was it because we met in chicago?
i mean just this last february and not back in 2000.
pilot mtn and stvd rock...
aka turn of the century.
that we failed to inform each other of our camping
and our family drama
or complained much of friends and frenemies.
or that we had gotten so used to some things never changing
we realized there were suddenly things actually changing?
there are your children which always change and yet remain the same.
and we have not spoken of those.
and me and my not changing yet drastically so.
on the precipice.
and your hair and my bank account.
what else. when the ---- lifts we've got to see where the holes are.

- mariokart (add our number)
-chocolate covered honeycomb
-3 necklaces
-the exodus from LA
-not exercising
-the organized file
-salt baths
-showers
-not dyeing the hair
-koren dramas
-learning korean
-how am i going to teach?
-weight
-clothes
-poverty
-twist andshooting stars
-must spay/reluctant surgery
-indie rock and college radio
-400 photographs, 3 years
-not packing
-quilt finishing

Pen,

So you know how we were talking about Adele. I have both 19&21 on my itunes. Further, I have no idea how they got there. No idea. Lucky day. I only like a few of her songs but now i get to hear them incessantly. Rolling, and Fire and Something what not. But seriously, how did they get onto my machine? No recollection. Also can she write about something else besides thwarted romantic love? puh-LEASE. gah.

Last night we had a proper if miniature lengthed storm blow and bluster in. Rattle my window and pound on down. It justified my being up till 2 for sure. Ah, a brief glimpse oh thou temptress, weather. Though those 2 unhappy texts @8am i got about going on down into hollywood at 9am... no. Frickin lotday volunteering nonsense. I believe i stated: ground cold wet. no go. resched. rain last night. The sun would've had to have been glistening in for me to even consider lifting my eyelid more than a slit before dropping back into my pillow until 10. And then kerry calling me complaining about outfits and wedding attendance. Shuffling in my superbly baggypants and flipflops i went on to prepare some teeth staining tea, flaxseed toast and eggs with yogurtpepperjackcheese and greenonions. And then played my itunes and sat on the couch reading about young flavia solving the murder of a mysterious redhaired man.

I believe i was having a moment, despite being confused that after 2 pears, and more tea, and the hour being 2ish I wasn't hungry for lunch yet. Pears, which I've ignored for years have suddenly become my thing, having rediscovered their perfectness when in season, a rosy glow on their oddly shaped green skin. Can't beat it. Sweet and lovely. But a bad pear is a terrible thing. So i can see why i broke up with them and ignored them for at least a decade. But for now I'm back in love. Guavas and persimmons are still curious but not catching. And the cats completed the picture, curled to my left, camped to my right and warming my chest. It was hard not to doze back off even though I'd already been up a few hours... the head was dipping a bit though.

And then I heard the screen door, and thought, please be today. And you know what, it was! There was THEE envelope. 9wks awaiting. I sluiced open the envelope and rather anticlimactically gazed upon the "no arrest record"- I immediately felt an inward lurch of wrongness- there was a name but not a "signature", the official watermarked highwhite paper but no as requested for apostille "seal"... I thought, fuck. I went to scan it in. Which was oddly easy given all my dads networking shenanigans and sent it off to be confirmed if i was crazy to both the canadian recruiter and the FBI liaisons...Damned Saturday. I then madly searched forums with an internal tremor and a, I'm so pissed at my lips... innately feeling that this rage was somewhere even if i couldn't quite find it, muster it really- it was missing. Just a, hmmph. The forums actually after the caddy back and forth of some finally cleared the way to tell me there was hope- i could probably bypass it, or if at worse send it back and wait a few more weeks. Gasp. If i have to. There are benefits I suppose to living in LA and I'd like to claim them especially if i have to pay $20 per document. But either way nonsense. Nonsense to be dealt with when i see a notary on Tuesday for my BA and hopefully hear back from the recruiter. Nevertheless there was an equally incessant but not actualized happydance happening in my head about pulling the trigger. And it's close.

Having done what I could I strangely went on with the rest of my day- I delayed lunch, with a bowl of chips as i went to help Amber hand out pies. It all seemed rather unnecessary but I think she was glad of my company though I have now shortshrifted callie. Sorry Callie! But amber has darkdays. I wrote it down. I've got to be careful... Anyway, I had to hear funnily enough a senior complain about trying to return her pie to costco. $6. Seriously. She didn't want it I guess? I ponder if they actually let her. It didn't have a label but still... off she went and amber i were both like, "i don't like her attitude." And amber said, I deal with things like that everyday. Godbless you. Because those seniors would be getting a talk to. I unfortunately have none of that generational respect when it comes to nonsense.

I mean obviously in korea it will be completely different but for now. No.

Anyway, that's it. Tomorrow is church. There was this '5 favorite things' party, and yes i could bring flowers, but... i don't know. We'll see what's blooming. Or not. I might just be anti-social. I'm bordering on uninspired even though -- i don't know. I may cave to the pressure. Danica and aut can be relentless when they think i should do something. And they're right i know. I could even bring pressed seaweed. It's like free advertising right? Hummm. And i get to take home loot? ach.

Oh and apparently after at least 13 years i bought a different kind of monthly calendar. It's smaller. Cheaper. I wonder. It might not work. What if I'm in korea. Well anyway. Ok. I'll stop. It's the tea i think. I might have to read more before i slip on over to the otherside. Who knows what sort of dayplanner i might need... i can't decide.

m.

These days,

Lately I'm reluctant to get out of bed at all. The tossing and turning though finally does me in and the thirst and the general haggardness so I do get up. I've never been one of those lingering types. Absolutely possessive of the 8or9 hours but otherwise. I wish i could read a book in bed in the morning, like those grab a cuppa and tuck back in sort of people. Or the kind of person who pulls off nightware really well opposed to looking like a tangled mess. I wonder if i had one of those sleep # beds if i'd be restful when i sleep. Granted the dreams don't help but i've always been rolling this way or that. I do the same thing in church- one hip, next hip... i wonder if the whole thing speaks of being bored with the process. I'm not sure. When mom asks me what I've done or am going to do with my day, I just whistle now, in that arching "annnnnnnd, hoooooow" as i wave goodbye sort of whistle. I'm sure it says almost everything. And most nights i conquer the mind chatter with some yogic deep breathing exercises.

As you know i've been having some vivid time in imagination land too. I also got new floss, and have been taking long soaking baths. Which taxes our septic tank horribly but my whole body longs for the heat and liquid warmth. It pulls me to it. I think about it all day and think, can I slip into the tub and let the water rise, yet? I've never used bathsalts and fragrances so much in my life. I'm also, currently reading "sweetness at the bottom of the pie" and the poems of wallace stevens. Scheduling time to get that BA notarized (pain in my ass). Ordering prints from the last 3 years from k)dak. So there's that. But whatelse- Cathy sent me money and it made me weep. And for her birthday i'm going to figure out how to make her a cameo. Also I have both Adele albums- 19,21. Have no idea how i got them or why they're on my itunes... It was sort of crazy. But now i can listen to the 3 songs i do like over and over again. Bonus.

So, Last night I dreamed of 7 kittens. [which can speak of gaining independence or?] There was a whole lot of business about the wrangling of them and where they came from, and what to do with them. It was definitely like we were keeping them, and the smallest and last discovered one was a brindle- rustredorange kitten, smaller than the rest, and we definitely decided to name her "Chloe"... which means "tender young shoot" or "verdent and blooming". As I said to Lauralee, "I am full of portent these days."

Oh and I finally embroidered the name of the quilt, and my mom and my name and the year into the quilt border- which given how sluggard i've been lately was quite an accomplishment. I almost wept. It was even better than finishing the hedge trimming, or taking that long walk on Monday but haven't repeated since. As i said to danica i've enjoyed too much being maudlin and licking the salt and grey from my fingers all day long to do much else. In the same breath though i can be glad of your long waited for grocery. The good things. They're coming aren't they. Ways are being made. Pushed forward and opened. I'm going to write a poem about us i think. What our condition might be. I think...

m--

and for records sake: a jumbled mess and not much meat.
portent aka a list of all the images in my mind right now:

It started with:

• The Ants: Everywhere, all around our house. Stealing resources. of friends. of mine. And the woman i asked for help said i should ask God to wake me up with a verse:
• John 2. The wedding at Cana. Mary notes that they've run out of wine. Jesus says it's not his time yet but he does provide anyway. Which I pondered whilst camping- Mary knows the shame that will come upon them. I wonder why she knew in the first place. Sometime later la-cat was praying for me and that led to the bathsalts, the contemplation of slow healing and the tension in my shoulders, and the may your body have hope, not just my soul, which led to:
• Psalms 16 "you hold my lot. the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, indeed i have a beautiful inheritance."... which i didn't agree with. I wondered where it was. I asked. i went to the throne and said, but seriously am i missing something?
• Which led me to: What is pressing down on my shoulders? (my knee has been hurting again) A golden statue of an indian fell off my back, and was then pecked at by a vulture as if it were flesh. It spoke to me as if it was about stolen inheritance... was it mine? Was it someone elses? Where did it go? Why? I stopped meditating. I thought it was too much too see already with no answers yet.
• And then of course at the beach: The pelican and the 4 fishermen. I have often asked God, "Lord, where shall i cast my net today?"
• pelican: pinpoints the fish, locks on and plummets into the water to get it. i resolved that i would most like to be the pelican.
• the father: with his son, taking pictures and catches the fish, all experience and memory gathering.
• the expert: two massive poles, 3 hours, 8-10 fish, 1 baby shark, 1 stingray?, and every single one thrown back into the ocean. drew lots of attention and questions and seemed relentless. maybe it's all about the lures.
• the fly fisherman: endlessly casting and reeling back into a basket. river? why ocean? nothing caught. restless. exhausting to watch.
• the recreational hobbyists: two friends, moving down the beach. catching nothing but talking. almost aimless or planless anyway. and then prayer on sunday,
•    a baby in a crib, a roman soldier- the centurian luke 7he knows jesus can just heal his servant from where he was because his authority extends beyond him, everything is subject to it... then ps91... he will command his angels concerning you... (the passage i've been teaching the meditation classes on). jake prayed that over me coincidentally... jesus of course was tempted by the same phrase...
• and then the dreams: the woman, the child, the rasping choking, the "lord, give me my voice!", the nanorobots, the flying, the struggling, the man chasing me with a cat like face. the choking squeezing has stayed with me since.
• and now the kitten named chloe. the verdent bloom.

and here am i, on the brink. the slippery edge of understanding. i need to make columns. draw a diagram. the truth about jesus//the indian//the requests//the lack//the expectant future.

but perhaps instead i'll crawl under the couchchair cover like twist and sleep. if only i had an analyst on staff.

happy farms

At first I thought the background was flower-filled? And it is, except sometimes it’s all circles with diamonds in the middle.

So here’s my windowsill:

happy green onions – a week ago they did not clear the top of that glass

happy flowers from my mom’s yard, picked by k.lo

sculpey-jesus-in-progress – he has a random red streak on his blue robe but it doesn’t seem inappropriate so it’s staying there

And the fall leaves in the background, which speak for themselves.

Yesterday I was completely jazzed to procure new socks. It’s nice when they don’t have holes.

And today. Today I discovered the poor-girl’s-TJ’s, aka Aldi. What! WHAT. It’s weird, it’s quirky, it’s German. All the old people shop there. You put in a quarter to use the shopping cart and don’t get bags. There’s only one brand/option for each product. But this is all magic. Because I’ve come to loathe too-many-options at the friggin’ grocery store. And plastic bags – hate them! And while I value great customer service, I also hate too-many-people breathing down my back when shopping. And the cashier was super-nice anyway and super-speedy. And there are NO TVs on the end-caps playing an endless stream of commercials and inciting feelings of homicidal rage. And they have cheese! Cheap, fabulous cheese! Jalapeno havarti, for heaven’s sake! And chocolate! Cheap, fabulous chocolate! And granola! Cheap, fabulous granola! And cheap, fabulous apples! Cheaper-than-I’ve-seen-in-years coffee beans! Cheaper-than-the-cheapest-ever potato chips! And dairy products with the ridiculous brand name of Happy Farms! Which makes me feel like I might be carted off to the Happy Farm and held there without bail.

So it took eleven months – but M, I have a grocery store. A beyond cheap one that sells odd and delicious things. This is big.

Excuse me while I create several Aldi fansites, Aldi mugs and a set of I <3 Aldi T-shirts.

Or go back to crocheting my blanket, gluing sculpey Jesus together and painting him a beard. Whichever.

xoxox

pen

Part (XII) Seven

First time I forgot our anniversary and only rememberd a month later while simultaneously hitting another blog low. 7 posts though for 7 years. "winning!" In other news i did muster the strength for a new blogtitlehead, even though the other one hit the struggle so precisely on the head, that was all we needed to say. There was the forces of darkness and light converging upon us, our joy was a weighted statue that was being anchored by time and sinking into an abyss... we'll see what this one does for us. Where's daniel to ask us questions when we need him? Biding his time somewhere and not watching the decline and fall of an unknown blog. Not that we're going to blip ourselves out of existence. Not yet. It's a good sign i'm being so caustic. It almost makes me hopeful.

m.

the book stack from @rd_morgan

#thetwitterverse #magicalmailpackages #YAdeliciousness

I still smile every time I think about it. Where will I even begin.  

seven years in ~

Have we run out of words? Our experiences seem to be swirling around us (or maybeitsjustme) lately, with nary a note taken. And this doesn’t seem right somehow, because we are note takers, are we not?  Observers and commenters and obsessers. Which isn’t even a word, but that never stops us. Maybe we’re just going through something. On the brink of foreign country expeditions and whatnot. Or an allergy to so much being-on-display.

October does traditionally suck the life out of me, although a) it’s not October anymore and b) fall is reclaiming its rightful place as my favorite season, what with the falling leaves. I mean, they literally fall and litter the streets while I walk, like burnt papery snow, and I love it. And I love that it just sits in the streets, along with the pine needles, like maybe someone should clean it up, but…eh.

Currently I’m avoiding the movie Hannibal like the plague and scourge it is by jacking up PandoraRadio and pinningthings and writing letters to you. If I had known that movie was filmed at Biltmore, my excursion there might have felt different somehow. Creepers. And despite the falling back and adding an extra hour tonight I feel like I don’t want to go to church tomorrow. I’m so antisocial. I suppose I will anyway. Maybe. Somehow I was recently roped into subbing as doorkeeper for the children’s classes and it’s totally fine because well I never contribute anything monetarily and stewardship has to take some priority? But I’m not sure how or why people assume I like and/or am good with children just because I happen to have two. It’s a myth I’m telling you. I’m not required to be there tomorrow but it’s been a few weeks since I’ve attended. Mainly the problem is I have no idea what to wear.

I used the fancy hairstuff today after my shower and I’m going to declare that I prefer the ElmersSchoolGlue. I said it. It’s true.

My windowsill green onions are growing. A lot. I tried googling what else I could cut and throw in a glass of water and grow forever but didn’t come up with much.

Sculpey Jesus looks like Charlie Brown at the moment but never fear. Someday he’ll have a blue outfit and facial hair.

Magnet paint is going to happen in the hallway. For art display. And magnet play.

Bookshelves in the living room as well as a huge book purge will also happen. Someday.

And someday I’ll paint the door red and the shutters black. But it’s getting cold and I can barely muster the will to mow the backyard.

While trick-or-treating the other night I stopped by the house that we almost rented like the nosey person I am and saw that a couple who requires use of a wheelchair ramp lives there. I had this total “ahh” moment of understanding about why we didn’t end up with that house. It was meant for them.

I’m making a leaf garland with the children. Except I’m doing most of the cutting and have scissoritis as a result. But it will be charming and so worth it, right? K.Lo insisted on Thanksgiving/not to be confused with Halloween decorations of some sort. I’ll totally take pictures.

All right I’m going to post this and then for Hannibal-less cover in the bedroom.

love to you this saturday eve,

pen

My darling,

It's late, and i've had unsettling dreams. One where I was on an elevator that reached the top and once it did it rotated top to bottom so that we wre all upside down. No one seemed to mind. Everyone seemed to think it was normal. And then another where i was covered in brine or some dried saltly pattern after a sprinkler system had gone off in a huge office building. It's probably the epsom salt soaks i've been doing lately. They're leeching into my dreams. And backing up the septic tank too.

 

And i've begun to watch korean soapoperas so i'll let you know when 'My lovely Sam Soon' and 'Vampire Prosecutor' start invading my dreams. I listened to the first part of pimsleur's korean and when they prompted i was able to recall the answers in french. Of course that's not at all what was required but i was amused. Je ne sais pas. Je ne comprend pas. Tu es connais ou' mon fbi bgcheck? which apparently is actually said savez-vous ou' mon cheque.... est? oh well. Nevermind.

 

More on meditation and the rhythmless days later.

A brief dialogue from Pen and M.

---

Date: Wed, 2 Nov 2011 19:34:27 -0400
Subject: Re:
From: penelope

To: mendacious

 

good grief i don't actually .... psshhhaw. ....an ordinary computer. .... ick. maybe...

... bank breakup! i totally empathize. those @(#*&@$...  

...i spent most of the day .... about........ immortal .....  laguna .....dontjudge. 

---

 
On Wed, Nov 2, 2011 at 8:22 PM, mendacious> wrote:

juuuuuuuuddddddddggggggggggggging.

 

---

Date: Wed, 2 Nov 2011 20:30:03 -0400
Subject: Re: ps
From: penelope

To: mendacious

omg. where is the middle-finger emoticon. 

 

Oh, October (enclosed)

i can't say october is all bad, except for the everywidening hole of financial despair. (please somebody by some effing seaweed. doesn't anyone know anyone anymore?) oh and the&nbsp;b/n near me has already hired for the season. oh and my mentor offered me the job of my dreams&nbsp;but can't afford to pay me, and i had a crazy dream that involved dogs with glowing red eyes and me saying, GO BACK TO HELL WHERE YOU CAME FROM! right after i anointed someone with oil and said, in the name of the father, son, and holyghost. for serious.

but on to better things, the pictures will attest that goodness and conversation pull me back from living in a deep thread of anxiety. just this morning i was doing some deep breathing and after about 7 cups of tea and 5 hours of conversation and peanut brittle, i calmed down enough to smile and be optimistic about korea and the current trajectory of my life. mostly.

here's callie. our badass friend getting thrown down and is about to fiercely wend her way out of it. go deputy blackbelt!

and yah, these are as dangerous and epic as they look. bob redmill rocks the awesomechocolatesauce. which this month has brought me to the um, ok, i'm clearly overeating.

but nevermind about that, look at my Twist!

and yes, this IS only 18minutes from my house. go VALLEY. go. who can resist the lighting.

same place, but emily was throwing a victorian birthday party. which trumped my anti-social ways. we played croquet. i tripped over a whicket to which sarah replied, sticky whicket. both of these photos were actually not staged.. if you can believe it ;)

and here is san clemente. i may have found a way to pee on the beach unnoticed- twice. but if you had seen the cliff i had to climb up, you'd understand why and the water was cold and rocky. and filled with fish and as one fisherman showed me, a baby shark. but don't let that throw you, forget about it as you gaze at the good time. filled with good food (not pictured sadly (paninis, brats, fritattas, salads and such), ridiculous warm weather and tanning.

post beach tea break

and yes, guess what i got when i got home. 2 wks!? what the what government!

m.