Make Me

Good Morning. It's true not a day goes by where i don't think, yes, i should blog about my joblessness- again! but I won't do it. I'm pathetic. I hate myself- it's a tyranny of self-loathing and inadequecy. Instead, however, let me turn to my hatred of neighbors and their respective colonies- as if these were college frat houses and we lived near all the dorms. To the left of us there are about 8 cars- 3/4 of which are in the driveway. I like these neighbors despite their mariachi live band-playing-asses but the car situation kills us, that and their yappy dogs, one of which is named princess and which i hope will soon be eaten by a wild python. The neighbors to our right have recently had a spike in cars and we suspect some people have moved in. They average about 5-6 cars. I hate these neighbors especially, not only bcs their decaying roof flies into our garden on a windy day but most likely bcs of childhood trauma, and most recently it's bcs they keep their boxer chained up outside in the front yard. Which makes my dog want to escape, which he does, and they hose him down but he loves water and i try to tell them that and then they threaten to kill my dog and in my mind i set their house on fire like i was an 80's child star. But I digress.

Last night once again there was no parking in front of my house, which usually means there's not parking for a block in either direction. And at such times I always resort to the drastic measures of double parking- however this time it was particularly challenging. I made my passangers get out bcs i was determined to fit my wee car into the usually vacant driveway space. My theory about living in sub-urban areas and in my case the ghetto, I feel adamant that there should be car space for everyone- but apparently as my neighbors think their houses are apartment complexes, density issues ensue- and force me to employ desperate parking measures. But I persevered. I forgot though that it was the weekend and that the offending sebring, which caused the extreme parking, was not going to be gone early in the AM as usual. And that most likely I will have to force myself to move the car back out from which it came. I did it in 5 turns. Impressive, yes? And made my merry way to Mc'ds for breakfast, bcs should i deny myself breakfast? That and my parents were leaving at 10 so either way it seemed that the manuever was inevitable. note the stylish leather shoes combined with sweats from circa 1994. I'm sorry I didn't get a picture of the pocket rip on the right side. so there you have it, just a morning in the mind of mendacious... Tomorrow perhaps I will tell you all about the demolition of the sidewalk or my particular inclinations toward sausage mcmuffins and diet coke in the morning... and my dogs feverent desire for car rides, of which, on this particular day, they were denied.