Diet Green Tea (and the cliche of sweat)

This all started when I went to Togos and they said, which do you want Diet Green Tea or regular and I said, Holy Fuck- There's options? (I've been watching Kathy Griffen: Life on the D List- Hilarious. Really f-ing hilarious.) Okay let me back up, actually this started when a friend said, Green Tea metabolizes fat. So with Green Tea on the mind like I was doing the southbeachdiet I ordered GreenTea from togos. This brought to mind something else. My roommates from Chicago. (chills, crack of thunder) Now let me just say, that if i had a blog back then- NO MERCY! The stories would have been novellas of SUFFERING (funny ones, bcs i'm like that- that, and full of rage). I won't dip back too far in the memory bank as I might suddenly start muttering, the horror, the horror- exterminate them all. The first roommate was bulemic and lied to her therapist and just for an added touch of twisted began to make herself into the Mervyns version of our O.C. Palos Verdes Barneys-Anthropologie-loving and buying, friend. "Same" hair color, "same" shoes, "same" jacket... I'm not joking. When she fled back to Iowa and made me help her move out she left a case of diet dr.pepper and an entire box of green tea. I laugh now when I say, oh that's why she drank it like crack. I won't even get to the anorexic-anxiety disorder roommate or the ghetto i think i'm "black" but white and i like faking good sex roommate... not to mention the manniquin she brought home. (lithe, brunette, wistful)

Okay so I'm drinking my dietgreentea laughing about my roommates tragic eating disorder and her obsession with green tea- I think, fuck, I'm not drinking this to do that am I? I gave that last swig a quick thought- intention. Remember my hatred of cliches. I told myself that at the time- I am not an LA living, GreenTea drinking sell-out am I? You can see the sort of pressure I exert on myself having lived here my whole life. Hard. Very hard. Sometimes the popular crossovers are just inevitable- so to ascertain the GT situation I got two types of GT from TraderJoes (another trend bastion of affordable highend (think my mervyns to barneys girl)- And am drinking GT right now praying that I can turn in my 24 hour fitness membership and just hook up the IV.

So I went to, that's right- 24 Fitness. I told you it was coming. And I wore it like a childhood blanket I never stopped sleeping with, or the pink lipstick from the 80's or the whole world of fitness I blew off when I left college. Not that I stopped exercising- or that I didn't pick up some troubling fast-food addictions, but whatever, that's another blog if you want it.And you have to want it for me to tell it... It felt good.

3.2 for 2.5mls @ a 2.4 incline later I noticed a man who was "LITERALLY" dripping buckets of sweat. I marvelled at the pools @ least a foot wide- I AM NOT JOKING- of sweat that were to the left and right of him. At one point he got off his machine to stretch and as he was doing the standing bow pose (for no conceivable reason -show off!), sweat was running off his too efficient body, onto his shorts and streaming- no i said it, streaming off his shorts onto the ground. I was too amazed to be adeqtly disgusted. And all I could think of was that the guy probably caught a chill easily, as most super-fit people do - at some points it becomes a liability. No, I don't tell myself that all the time. But it does, and didn't you know? Green Tea metabolizes fat.