psa: fruits and veggies

Word on the streets is that they're changing (or have already changed?) the 5-a-day slogan for fruit and veggie servies to "Fruits & Veggies--More Matters." As in, don't worry so much about the numbers and measurements, just know that when it comes to fruits and vegetables, more is better. Which, frankly, I find to be a huge relief. I don't know that I've ever had 5 servings a day of fruits and veggies. Especially not fruits. Maybe during strawberry or blueberry seasons, maybe, there is like a day where I eat handfuls and handfuls of the fresh-picked stuff and feel like I can do a little victory dance: got my 5-a-day-wooo! It's not that I'm overly consumed with getting enough... I eat what I eat. We almost always have a veggie side with dinner. We have salads sometimes, and I eat yogurt, which I think has a few berries thrown in. I just feel better now knowing that huge number "5" isn't looming large and neon-y in the sky, floating on a cloud of silent condemnation and guilt. I can just, you know, try for more wherever and however, and that will be all right.

Except that, I was reading a little bit about it on WebMD, and apparently, the fine print of this new More Matters campaign is that generally, adults should be eating more than 5 servings of fruits and veggies a day. Wha-?! Like, between 7 to 13 cups. Shoveling this much roughage into our bodies on a daily basis is apparently what we need to effectively fight off diabetes, cancer, and all the other terrible things that can happen to us. Car crashes, freak bike accidents, kidnappings in foreign countries...

Well, I'm really screwed. Because in the back of my mind with the 5-a-day thing, I was thinking, I don't know that I eat 5 cups of anything every day. I mean, I'm sure there's at least 5 cups of food if you add it all up, sure, but when I think about those days where I did eat a bunch of blueberries or strawberries and felt a little proud? I also remember feeling a little ill. Like I way overdid it with the berries. My stomach churns to even consider 2 to 8 more cups on top of that. I mean, literally, we would have to start eating at like, sun-up, every day, and continue grazing for hours on our beans, peas, berries, and bananas, all the way to sun-down to get through that amount. Right? It would be like Fear Factor: Fruits and Veggies Edition. It's not that they're gross, but the sheer volume? Ew.

I haven't even touched on cost. And screw variety. You wouldn't have any room left for the other good stuff, like, I don't know... meats, bread, cheese, chocolate. Good grief. Perhaps the produce would do its job in fighting off scary diseases. We would just feel like we're going to vomit all the time.

Frankly, I think I'm going to stick with my old standby: moderaton, and a good multi-vitamin.

today: state of affairs

most stressful moment, totally made blood pressure rise: the light at the corner of College and Wrightsville was blinking. you know, like when it's really late at night and not a lot of traffic, so you just go when you can go? except that it was not late at night, it was in fact 9:30 in the morning, and traffic was heavy. how is one expected to make a left turn here. i did, after several minutes, cursing and praying all the while that the delivery truck across the way wouldn't choose the same moment to make his own move. he didn't, and we lived. but still! feel like contacting wect to report on this deathtrap.

going to watch: Grey's Anatomy

health: do i have a cold, or something? i've been taking vitamin C all week, fighting off whatever's in the air, and yet. there are sniffles, a faraway feeling of fatigue. and while i've been attempting to step up the workout and get hard(er) core about losing that last little bit, i so don't feel like working out today. would that be bad? i did work out 3 days this week, and they were hard workouts, with an entirely too peppy crew. which is a lot to deal with.

the Bug: whiny, out of sorts. clearly going through something, but we are of course not sure what. a new tooth, growing pains, an early-life crisis? putting on a pair socks incites a major meltdown. can be calmed only with the Baby MP3 player, which includes a 16-song set list, performed by jaunty, high-pitched British children. also, she still won't eat her vegetables, but is currently chomping down on crispy snap peas, which are the vegetable, but (I believe) fried. does that take away from its nutritive value? hmmm. yeah, probably, but she's eating something that at least resembles a garden product, so. there's that.

question: do you know the muffin man?
also: baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?

looking forward to: weekend. time with J.Lo, a possible movie marathon. weather too cold to deal with, but blankets, lots of blankets. cooking up steaks with mushrooms and maybe a pot pie. princess diaries book 8, and maybe some crochet? and jesus camp. yikesoid.

p.s.: a note

Due to irritating cookie issues of now-epic proportions, I am unable to actually log in to blogger. Mendacious is kindly posting my posts for me until the problem is resolved, but meanwhile--this is why I haven't been commenting on anyone's blogs, including, for pete's sake, our own. There's just a few more little kinks to work out in our now-wireless setup, but in the meantime, I'm here, I care, and I think you're all real special.

hugs and kisses,
penelope behind cyber-bars

Survivor Friday: The Return!

So, this time we're in Fiji, which I had previously associated with celebrity vacations. Didn't Nick Lachey go there on Newleyweds? And the Real World: Austin cast? They must go to a different island. The Survivors are surrounded by ginormous bats, spiders of terrifying proportions and, on Exile Island, droves and droves of slithery sea snakes. I have to say, it is a cruel, cruel fact of nature that the snakes can slither up so high--there was one in the tower where Sylvia the Architect had to sleep. Although, do we think the camera crew goaded the thing up there for effect? Probably. I don't think Sylvia will last very long, speaking of her. She right away established herself as the smug, bossy sort, which--I know she was trying to be helpful while executing the construction plan for the shelter, but it seemed like she would been a better fit for The Apprentice. All Type A and businesslike. Also--an architect helming the project, really? I thought architects made the drawings and models; they don't actually build the shit, do they? But, everyone else on the island seemed to think that's "what she does every day." Whatever. And also, I feel bad saying this, but when women step up as the leader, why so often do they seem to lack charisma and/or that likability factor that guys have? Not all women, but a lot of them. (And not all male leaders are charismatic and likable.) Is it because they try to ingratiate themselves with too much smiling, to take the edge off of their command? Or if they don't smile enough, it's like they're "bitchy"... it seems like a lose-lose.

Anyway, the tribes were split, based on the outcome of the challenge, into the Haves and the Have-Nots. The Haves have got a sweet pad, complete with a toilet, a couch, blankets--a ton of amenities that bests even Boston Rob's Survivor: All-Stars shelter. I wonder if they'll get to keep it, or if it will be like The Apprentice, where whoever loses has to live in the jungle ghetto. Character standouts so far are Yau-Man, Papa Smurf, Rocky, and Dreamz. And I'm kind of interested in Erica, too, for whatever reason. Dude, what's up with the names this time. Rocky really does kind of look like Rocky. Papa Smurf totally looks like Papa Smurf. Yau-Man, I'm worried about Yau-Man. He's this skinny little dude who's older, but man is he smart. And not really annoying or otherwise alienating--like if he could pull his weight in challenges, he would really be an asset to have around. I loved the way he smashed the wooden box when all the strong dudes couldn't get it open. He's like, "It's simple physics," and drops the thing on its corner, the weakest point. Love it.

Interestingly, after the race gimmick of last season, this season's set of Survivors is quite varied as far as ethnicity... which, actually, is kind of nice. Although, there's still "types," you just can't avoid (or deny) it. The tribes were split based on Sylvia's choosing, and so far, J.Lo and I are rooting for Moto. Not just because they won, and not just because it's so fun to say "Hello Moto" every time they come on screen. But because... sadly... we feel that we should root for the tribe with Dreamz. Because Dreamz is actually from ILM. I know. It's true. And after reading his bio, I'm sort of endeared to Dreamz because it does sound like he had a hard childhood but is making something of himself, even if he does wear it on his sleeve a little obnoxiously so. And his favorite show is allegedly Seinfeld. But, if he could just shut up a little more. I mean, when you're all dead tired, starved, sleeping out in the open air on wooden slats, all piled up like a litter of puppies--dude. Shut. Up. Shut up, period. But especially shut up instead of ranting loudly, and then asking all the white people to raise their hands. Do we really have to keep count? If a white guy asked all the black guys to raise their hands... it's just rude. Can't we all just get along? In spite of our stupid nicknames?

It's too early to tell who might win this thing, but so far, looks like a fun season ahead. Yowzah!

7(by)7

my thoughts lately, besides circling around our obvious awesomeness over here at pen and m- are about impatience. i think it has the ability to be paralyzing in our wanting of it- the condition, object to manifest, change or end... so that it becomes like staring at a spot of light on the wall or better a speck of dust. why won't somebody clean it. why is the dust there? just like that? shaped like that. staring at me on this emaculate white surface of my desire...

i have been recklessly escaping all week(s) into a total of 3 books. STP 2,3,4 all have been read and now onto Twilight. But oddly today I got caught actually conversing twice with another inv. person. eye contact was made with me and the manager both times because i saw him looking and taking note... and then worst my manager caught me on the phone in the section... major no. well not unlike reading in my section too. but i digress... it makes me breathe a little better to have these indiscretions and it helps to suppress my itching fingers... bcs stealing time though frowned upon does not require possible police involvement. so i appropriate it for my use and have succeeded in dissipating the restless chants of impatience from my mind. even if it will eventually have consequences...

lately i think 7 hours is theirs, and i steal from it when i can so it's actually less and the other 7 including my lunch break i do have more control over- control over the things on my list, my creativity, all of it- so what's the big? why feel so trapped? bcs i WANT it. i want something else. i want something other than this. today a friend came into encourage me in my waiting. and she said it just takes one person, one connection, one show for it to break- and then it'll be easier, things will change... and being here, knowing what i know about hollywood i found it hard to believe her. but maybe things do break in ways we don't want and sometimes they do- in my cynicism i never imagine the future in a way that i want. i hope for it but i never go to far with it bcs i don't want to be disappointed. i have no faith in things as the way they should be but i am absolutely crushed when it's told to me and it never happens. so i'd rather not hear: things will get better. i need to be okay with now, no matter how much it sucks- bcs really i might be here a while.

we are winners!

Johann: Okay, I can see both of you via the live feed.
Pen: Am I clear?
Johann: Lovely as ever. (pause) I just wanted to say, I’m so glad to be talking to both of you. It’s really an honor, you’re blog (pause) is a testament to all blogging. (He coughs, sips water.) Since the interview in October we’ve seen a lot of changes to the blog including the controversial name change of ’06, among numerous sidebar changes, color changes and…

M: Is there a question in there?
J: We’re here to talk about your new BEA award, winner of THE MOST TREACHEROUS COMMUTE.
Pen: (cheerful) Right.
M: And…
Pen: (aside) Mendacious, settle down.
M: Sorry. Go ahead Johann.
J: So,
M: I mean, it’s not like we didn’t have that whole beta-not beta thing to deal with. Trauma! New sign-ins, passwords-
Pen: Yes, Johann, we’re very honored to be twice recipients of the Bloggers Excellence Award. It was something really unexpected and thrilling, and we’re just glad to be a part of the community that recognizes the efforts of all blogdom.

J: Where were you when you first found out you won?

Pen: I was at my refrigerator rustling up a jar of pickles when I received the call. The taste of victory was not unlike a Kosher dill spear: crunchy, sharp, and satisfying.
J: I love pickles.
M: (pause) I was looking at job websites.

J: What is it about your commute that you believe made such a strong impression with the judges?

M: Well, distance mainly.
Pen: Exactly--I live in ILM, which is either at the very end or the very beginning of I-40, depending on your perspective and state of mind. There is actually a sign that says something like: Barstow, CA: 2,554 miles. I don't know what Barstow is all about, but I know that once you get there, you have to drive even further to get to mendacious. Now that's commitment.
M: I don’t recommend Barstow, however, and might I suggest cutting over to the 14 instead. Though they have a huge outdoor thermometer that I’d like to see.
Pen: Awww, that's what I love about California people, it's so charming the way the put "the" in front of their major highways. It makes me want to say "the 40," but no one will know what I'm talking about.

J: Where do you plan to keep your award?

M: Well,--
Pen: I'm still waiting for last year's award to be delivered to my home? Maybe there was only one for the team and mendacious took it for herself... That wouldn't be very nice, by the way. But, if I do get this year's award, and can win the cat fight for ownership/possession, I will place it proudly on my desk shelf next to, who else, but Dwight K. Schrute. I might even dust it now and again.
J: I’m sure you both deserve the honor of the award in your homes.
M: (distracted) I love Lucite. The first one is on one of my garden shelves outside. And um, (clears throat) it looks like Pen can put this one uh- you know because I totally thought they sent two!
Pen: (mutters) Likely story...

J: Tony Robbins once said, 'It's not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.' What does your commute mean to you?
Pen: It means free margaritas on Fridays. Mendacious springs for them if I make it out there as promised.
M: God, yes. (awkward pause) Oh, to both. I mean both sound good. Pen coming out, margaritas, all of it. I mean most times I don’t feel like I get to go very far but Pen shows me the distance traveled.
J: What do you draw upon to provide the necessary strength and courage to undertake such a commute?
Pen: Honestly, the cross-country running montage in Forrest Gump--it brings tears to my eyes. Whenever I'm feeling iffy about my next commute, I pop in the movie and fast-forward to those moments. Crazy is as crazy does, man. It's all about seeing the country, meeting the people, and lots and lots of inner reflection. I do not, however, plan to grow a beard.
M: My meta-narrative demands I constantly communicate to the void and to my unsuspecting friends, but you know Jesus mostly.

J: What is your typical reaction to someone whom you've incited into road rage?

M: Mainly it’s laughter, possibly revenge. It depends.
Pen: Delicate vocabulary, eloquent sign language.

J: How do you respond to critics who say your decision to commute like this is reckless and irresponsible?
Pen: Delicate vocabulary, eloquent sign language.
M: (laughter) Nice. I think in order to do what we do we have to put ourselves out there. Sometimes we crash, sometimes we pass go and collect $200. It’s what makes us us. That and we’re possibly really fickle, and really bored.
Pen: Yah, that too. Change is good. Sometimes there’s a transition and other times it comes without warning.
J: Like life. Yes, right. (coughs, sips more water) Oh, hold on a second, I have a text- I’ve got to go- I think I have what I need though- I really appreciate it. (quickly gathering up papers around the computer monitor) Congratulations again on your award Penelope. (pause) And Mendacious. Of course.
M: Right, of course.

J: One last question: The Most Treacherous Commute is an award not to be taken lightly…
M: It’s like being in a Series of Most Unfortunate Events.
J: Because people out there are depending on you now, for content, for insight… what do you think this next year will hold? Do you see yourself in line for a 3rd BEA award?
Pen: It’s too soon to tell! One can only hope people will continue to make the journey with us that or they can just-
M: bite me.
Pen: Yes but never without a salt rim and a slice of lime. I like mine blended.

hey-day

today we used the close proximity of the neighbors for good not evil.

it was a balmy 78 in the shade and with the windows and doors thrown open after the long winter we heard the cheers and jeers of would be superbowl watchers... with the rain drenching florida, giving us a painful reminder we live in a mediterranean climate and others do not, i was completely conflicted over watching the game... so while Poirot solved crimes on the Biography channel, whenever we heard a punctuated- agghhhhh or yah!!!!! we flipped the channel and watched the instant replay. i have to say it all went really quickly. and it was a pretty good game. after a certain point though, say the 2nd quarter, the Bears did nothing significant but make us cringe, nevertheless it was a good day. we ate the grilled chicken the neighbors brought over, made pizza with spinach and pesto... and capped the night with parfaits and quilt making. the only unfortunate thing, perhaps a Poirot hangover tomorrow might bring, is work... but lets not think about that, let's think about the morning hike we did- and as we walked with the dogs i would punctuate the air with: i am in charge and! i will be dominant! and as we walked thru the pockets of brisk shade and the breathing warmth of the sun and grit i thought: if i only had time and strength to walk the entire mountain.

till tomorrow.
m.

here we go

the neighbors brought us over a whole grilled chicken, a plate of rice/beans and salad. do we think it's a bribe? yes. is it working? possibly. does the music drumming thru my windows make me want to shoot a gun- absolutely. conflicted? yes. i hate polka music and i fucking hate mexican polka and singers singing in mexican where there is polka involved. i fucking HATE IT. fuck. i need to go to bed right now just so the music will go away. and hopefully not seep into my subconscious. i mean it's january (cripes in a half- february!) for godsake. why the fuck are we being subjected to such a thing. anyway the point of this was to show you desert pics so i'll do that- and you can ignore this angry beginning part... and i'll blog about annoying thin people who constantly complain about dieting and how impatience is paralyzing... so now, onward to the desert.

today's pluses

1. K.Lo's birthday party (the first one, the friends one), is done. Managed to get through with only mild to moderate social retardation. Even though only three people and their babies (out of... a lot more than that) came, it was a nice little group. Tasty food was eaten. Good times were had by all.

2. I paid $2.00 a gallon for gas today. Go, Costco!

3. I'm reading Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants IV, and it's so good. Got it from the library, oh yes. And, friend E just purchased Princess Diaries: Princess on the Brink, and says I can borrow it.

4. Our taxes are done. And, our refund (yes, a refund) will *gasp* almost cover last year's horrifying debacle, months before interest even kicks in. Credit card debt: instantly sliced in half. Only thousands more to go. (But really, it does feel good.)

5. Tomorrow's K.Lo's real b-day, which--wow! And yay! I can't even believe it...

Currently: gray skies
cold
quiet
with a peacefully sleeping Bug

pre-spree

It's like, just 40 days until my 29th birthday (yay!), and it's not very often that I get to go nuts and just BUY MYSELF STUFF, so in preparation and pre-celebration, here is my tentative of list of pen purchases.

1. Pre-order Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, to be delivered to my door July 21, 2007.

2. Replace favorite movies that I never watch anymore because they're VHS, and watching VHS is, like, so lame. I'm thinking I'll start with the 80s and toss in a few more if they're as cheap as I've seen them before: The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller, Real Genius, Better off Dead, Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles... Maybe While You Were Sleeping and You've Got Mail. And Uncle Buck. And The Wedding Planner, even though I don't have the VHS, but it's always el cheapo at Target, and it'll be my birthday, so why not.

3. A new shower caddy, because it will make me calmer.

4. A shirt that fits. Or maybe two. Or three.

5. Grey's Anatomy Season 2? Hmmm, kinda pricey.

6. Some cushions for the dining room chairs. Jumbo-sized, with grippy bottoms instead of ties. I'm thinking taupe.

7. Ceramic snack-sized bowls from Pier1 or similar.

And and and...

By now, I have of course completely exceeded my allotted Birthday Budget, but whatever. In reality, purchases will most likely be limited to a handful of movies, a shirt, and the bowls. What is the point if you can't dream.

Hooray for birthdays! List subject to future revision.

as promised: pen's lexicon

Synapses misfire, the mouth opens, and pen speaks. Even though she knows it's wrong. Sometimes, not often enough, wine can be blamed. Here's a (totally incomplete) list of verbal retardations:

pugnent: as in, The small, squashy-faced dog, who recently rolled in skunk-stink, smells rather pugnent today.

pohsh: as in, David Beckham married the Spice Girl whose name is Pohsh.

post-bachelorette: as in, Pen went to Chicago for a year to get her post-bachelorette degree in writing. No really, it was in the English language and everything.

Having trouble with just the "p" words? Oh no, not even close. Here are some favorite phrases that give me frequent trouble:

straight and arrow: as in, That guy really needs to shape up, get himself on the straight and arrow. (Because arrows are, like, straight...)

intensive purposes: as in, For all intensive purposes, pen lived twenty-some years before she realized it was "intents and purposes," and to this day, still doesn't really believe or get it.

kitten kaboodle: as in, Is that a box made by the Caboodles company with like, baby cat pictures on it? Caboodles were always in bubble gum colors like pink and purple, so that would totally make sense.

And lastly...

hit-her-to: as in, I read most of The Time Machine in the eighth grade before I realized the word was HITHERTO. No lie.

Okay, enough mortification for now. But I'll share more words and phrases as I remember them, and undoubtedly screw 'em up.