Survivor Friday: The Return!

So, this time we're in Fiji, which I had previously associated with celebrity vacations. Didn't Nick Lachey go there on Newleyweds? And the Real World: Austin cast? They must go to a different island. The Survivors are surrounded by ginormous bats, spiders of terrifying proportions and, on Exile Island, droves and droves of slithery sea snakes. I have to say, it is a cruel, cruel fact of nature that the snakes can slither up so high--there was one in the tower where Sylvia the Architect had to sleep. Although, do we think the camera crew goaded the thing up there for effect? Probably. I don't think Sylvia will last very long, speaking of her. She right away established herself as the smug, bossy sort, which--I know she was trying to be helpful while executing the construction plan for the shelter, but it seemed like she would been a better fit for The Apprentice. All Type A and businesslike. Also--an architect helming the project, really? I thought architects made the drawings and models; they don't actually build the shit, do they? But, everyone else on the island seemed to think that's "what she does every day." Whatever. And also, I feel bad saying this, but when women step up as the leader, why so often do they seem to lack charisma and/or that likability factor that guys have? Not all women, but a lot of them. (And not all male leaders are charismatic and likable.) Is it because they try to ingratiate themselves with too much smiling, to take the edge off of their command? Or if they don't smile enough, it's like they're "bitchy"... it seems like a lose-lose.

Anyway, the tribes were split, based on the outcome of the challenge, into the Haves and the Have-Nots. The Haves have got a sweet pad, complete with a toilet, a couch, blankets--a ton of amenities that bests even Boston Rob's Survivor: All-Stars shelter. I wonder if they'll get to keep it, or if it will be like The Apprentice, where whoever loses has to live in the jungle ghetto. Character standouts so far are Yau-Man, Papa Smurf, Rocky, and Dreamz. And I'm kind of interested in Erica, too, for whatever reason. Dude, what's up with the names this time. Rocky really does kind of look like Rocky. Papa Smurf totally looks like Papa Smurf. Yau-Man, I'm worried about Yau-Man. He's this skinny little dude who's older, but man is he smart. And not really annoying or otherwise alienating--like if he could pull his weight in challenges, he would really be an asset to have around. I loved the way he smashed the wooden box when all the strong dudes couldn't get it open. He's like, "It's simple physics," and drops the thing on its corner, the weakest point. Love it.

Interestingly, after the race gimmick of last season, this season's set of Survivors is quite varied as far as ethnicity... which, actually, is kind of nice. Although, there's still "types," you just can't avoid (or deny) it. The tribes were split based on Sylvia's choosing, and so far, J.Lo and I are rooting for Moto. Not just because they won, and not just because it's so fun to say "Hello Moto" every time they come on screen. But because... sadly... we feel that we should root for the tribe with Dreamz. Because Dreamz is actually from ILM. I know. It's true. And after reading his bio, I'm sort of endeared to Dreamz because it does sound like he had a hard childhood but is making something of himself, even if he does wear it on his sleeve a little obnoxiously so. And his favorite show is allegedly Seinfeld. But, if he could just shut up a little more. I mean, when you're all dead tired, starved, sleeping out in the open air on wooden slats, all piled up like a litter of puppies--dude. Shut. Up. Shut up, period. But especially shut up instead of ranting loudly, and then asking all the white people to raise their hands. Do we really have to keep count? If a white guy asked all the black guys to raise their hands... it's just rude. Can't we all just get along? In spite of our stupid nicknames?

It's too early to tell who might win this thing, but so far, looks like a fun season ahead. Yowzah!